The Aged Sick

Once, I knew a 'young' lady, who had to grow up fast because she had to take care of her aged parents. She was the youngest of a whole string of kids and as she was unmarried and without her 'own family' to take care of, the task of looking after her aged parents fell upon her young shoulders. It wasn't that her siblings were estranged but it just seemed natural for them to just pass the buck on to her. Whether a willing partner or not, she took it upon herself to accept the task.

She gave up her chance to go to University because she had to get a job to feed the family. A serious saver, she would scrimp and save and a few years into her career, she found she could finally afford to hire a foreign domestic worker to look after them, thus freeing her to finally, work and at the same time, pursue her studies further.

No, this story is not about me. I'm not that self-sacrificing an earthling. I complain alot about anything and everything and I also hypocritically, remind myself to thank God for everything. This happened to a young girl barely out of her teens. And now, it's happening to me; the reality of having to take care of our aged parents. But I'm in my forties. She was in her early twenties! I think back and wonder, what she must have been thinking back then, what love she must have had for her parents and siblings to sacrifice so much. Was she sad, watching life pass her by? Or was taking care of her sick and aged parents, all the life she needed?

Hubs and I have both sets of parents who are no longer young and have their fair share of health woes. We won't qualify as greatly grateful, obedient and filial kids. We just do what we can within our capacities. We  have our teenage kids to look after, our own health issues to tackle and on top of a multitude of other problems, there is the responsibility to see our parents through their sunset years. Sounds familiar? You can identify? Let's just say, the road has been bumpy, dealing with erm, 'special needs'.  

On a daily basis, I continue to pray for God to hold me up in strength and keep me sane. He does. I'm not depressed. I'm NOT. I've spoken to depressed people and trust me, I can get depressed just listening to them. I can tell the difference. I'm not ignoring the issues I have to deal with but am trying to be proactive in finding the best way to handle them if I cannot find solutions to them.

I try not to dwell on the negative. Instead, I remain positive by counting my blessings. Even if God knows my heart and hears my hypocrisy, even if I am paying lip service, I make sure I thank God for all His blessings; good OR bad. He knows my heart. Yes, he does. He also hears my cries. Yes, he does. I know it because I hear Him telling me so. Thus, I wait upon Him; patience tested, emotions and energy quite depleted but spiritually full.

My life experience so far, has not been ordinary. My stories would probably be good fodder for some gossip magazine. Perhaps another person who isn't held up by God's strength would have long thrown in the towel. But.... I've always wanted to take the road less travelled so I'll answer my own 'whys' and say, I don't know why God does what He does but God definitely knows me better than I do.