Intimacy in marriage

It's been slightly over 23 years since hubs and I got married. With the state of the marriage as it stands today, I 'don't see us parting ways until 'death do us part'. I can only pray that God continues to bless us with a love-filled marriage. I can't predict the future or the odd behaviour of the human race, of which he and I are part of but I can trust in the Lord.

I could lie and tell you that all has been a rosy bed of roses but oh please! We are what you could classify as 'same same but different'. Yes, we do have several similarities. For example (and this is not exhaustive), we like 'chionging' (rushing) around like chickens with no heads while on holiday to maximise the time spent abroad. We both turn our noses up at uppity settings (the word 'tatler' comes to mind and does turning our noses up in turn make us snobs?) and have no time to play lapdog to people who expect to be well, lapdogged. We dislike long haul flights. We prefer travelling around Asia (we have been to Europe). Although we enjoy cold weather every now and then, we prefer to not have to lug thick coldwear with us when we travel. He is good with housework, I am not. He can smell a fart a mile away. I can fart to smell a mile away. I catch jokes. He needs to have the joke explained. I like to cook, he does not. We love hawker food. We love chicken rice, mee pok,wanton mee, briyani (chicken for me, mutton for him), wadeh (accompanied by copious amounts of fresh green chilli), laksa, nasi lemak, bak kut teh, dark sauce zhujiao/pig trotters, ikan bilis fried rice, durian and well probably some more. We both like sleeping on white Egyptian cotton bed sheets. We both eat chocolate in bed (yes, even with the white bedsheets) and we both get pimples the next day from eating the blasted chocolate. Oh, oh and lest I forget to say, we both come from humble backgrounds and are both poor church mice!

Ah, differences. Too many to count! I am an organiser. He is not. I think ahead. He does not. Let me paint the picture for you with an example. From this alone, you will be able to see how different he and I can be. This is when we travel. I plan the trip. I make the reservations. I pack for the trip. I buy the travel insurance. I set the alarm clock on the day of departure. I wake everybody up. I yell and shout. I plan the itinerary. I set the alarm clock during the trip. I carry the map. I carry the passports. I carry the extra copies of the passports. I carry the foreign currency. I carry our currency. I carry wetwipes. I carry batteries. I carry chargers. I carry EVERYTHING (and that's why I have my handy Longchamp by the way. He he). And he? He's on his ipad. When I get mad at him that ít's 3am and I'm still packing the luggages and we have a flight to catch at 7am and I am already dead tired coming back from work earlier and he's not helping.....he looks up from his ipad, catches me with his charming grin and tells me 'I know you can do it'! The plane is on the taxiway getting ready for takeoff and I am praying in Tongues and he is already....snoring.

Yep. It's that grin. The grin that made me go weak in the knees all those years ago. The grin that still makes me go weak in the knees.
I need not go into all our differences. That grin did me in and differences count for squat today.

I will just say (food again), I like soupy, saucy stuff and he likes fried foods. I like veg and he does not. I like rice and he likes bread. I like noodles and pasta and he does not. He likes cake and I do not. He claims he can eat bread alone and thus is not fussy when it comes to eating but I beg to differ. Having to feed him bread when I have cooked something else is not being easy at all!

With so many similarities and differences, it makes for a colourful relationship. Alot of fun, I kid you not! It really is an awesome friendship. I cannot deny I have had a roller coaster ride that is both scary and exhilarating at the same time! I'm not saying that I am RIGHT and he is WRONG. Nor is he right and I am wrong. No, no. On the contrary. We have differences and we agree to differ. We have learnt and are still learning to accept the differences. It gets easier with age because we tend to live and let live more now. And I guess, that is what being joyful in a marriage is all about.

God has been the glue that held us together through the roughest of storms but I also need to point out that we both share an intimacy that is sweet yet explosive. My favourite time of the day is when we wind down and are just about to fall asleep. Our arms and legs are entwined around each other (okay, except when his snores get too unbearable, then I'll inch away). We snuggle against each other and even though we may have had an exhausting day, the snuggles make everything all right again. Oh and sometimes, the snuggling gets a bit too much and things get explosive on the intimate front. S.E.X. Yep. I think why the glue has held is also because we are still great together, always experimenting with each other, always keeping it exciting even after nearly 24 years of marriage. We look like a typical Singapore Uncle and Auntie. Hehe. But who would think that things are so explosive behind closed doors? I think we have a few more good years of intimacy before our hormones will start to naturally wind us down and we'll perhaps enjoy cuddling more than S.E.X (bummer! humbug!). But before we reach the finish line, I'm making the most of the good run! Hello? Pass me the baton?!




 

U-Turn Aunty

I have a new nickname from Ah Lau.

"U-Turn Aunty".

Ok, the Aunty is added because I started calling him 'something Uncle'.

Apparently, I am known for making U-Turns when driving. It's true. I make mistakes all the time even when I've been that route countless of times before. The fact is, I'm really good at reading maps (even though I do say so myself) but am usually in too much of a rush to read a map before setting off or do not have the GPS with me (Yah, yah, I know the phone has it. Too lazy you know?).
So I usually just drive off and depend on the road signs. Most times, I exit the highway at what else...the wrong exit or I'll turn at the wrong junction or miss the turn completely. Wait, I have to say, IF I read a map before I set off, I usually won't make any U-Turns!

I don't have an issue with that. So what? Make a mistake? Just make a U-Turn and get back on track. What's the big deal? Once I make the U-Turn, I learn from it so that I will make it a point to remember the correct road to take the next time. Ok, I admit it. Some of my mistakes have taken me to Timbucktoo before I could find a legal U-Turn point. I guess when you are a passenger seated next to me, you won't be as patient with me as I am with myself. Hehe.

Anyway, the COE on our car runs out in less than a year. With crazy mad COE prices, who knows if we will still be driving after that. Our car is a people mover. It has moved loads of old foggies. Brought them for family gatherings and back, brought them for medical appointments and back, brought our kids to school and back. If we can no longer afford the COE than, our old foggies will have to find alternative transportation and this U-Turn Aunty will have to retire her U-Turn ways. Sad day that will be. How will I learn from life's mistakes then?

Hmmm...would anyone dare to take a taxi driven by U-Turn Aunty?

Batam, Indonesia again!

Be warned: Super long post and picture laden!

So, we went to Batam recently (again).

You would think that with this haze in Singapore, we would be avoiding Indonesia like the plague. The thing I remember is the last time we had the haze, we had also visited Batam and they actually had clearer skies than we did! Actually, it was also hazy in Batam but we were indoors most of the time this trip.

I did consider long and hard before deciding on Batam. The mister and I desperately needed a break and we only had 2 nights max to spare. To avoid the crowd, we planned it for the weekend before the Hari Raya Haji long weekend. Both kids were home. The girl had her recess week and the boy is still in the midst of his hols. They were supposed to come with us but they were dragging their feet and we decided not to compel them. They boy had stuff to do (so busy with his Poly CCA) and the girl wanted time to catch up on her reading before her tests.

I'd considered Genting Highlands (our usual haunt for cool air) and K.L but in the end, decided it was too much hassle to drive there and back. Genting Highlands is going through a major revamp at their amusement park to make way for the 20th Century Fox amusement park. Long ways yet. My mind is thinking it's a mess up there with trucks bringing debris back and forth. Well, that's just me being paranoid. Although neither Genting nor KL is far to drive to, I didn't want us too knackered after the trip. You know, needing a holiday after the holiday?!

I'd also considered Malacca and wondered if we should bother going on a food trial trail this time (because we are not the type of people to queue up for 'highly reviewed' food). Then I thought of the bus loads of tourists (and car loads, including us!) and the haze (I find it hotter there than here during the 'haze season') and decided I could live with not visiting Malacca.

I was highly drawn to driving to Desaru for a night's stay. To spend an entire day visiting their small 'farms', ending the day with a delicious seafood meal to be followed by a firefly boat trip. Then I read review after review of all the decent hotels there and it seems the hotels leave much to be desired. I really don't get this about Malaysia. They have SO MUCH POTENTIAL but most of the places seem to have died in a time trap. Once they build it, they do not seem to maintain it. I can even say the same about a BIG local venue owned by a Malaysian company. Oh yes, did I ever mention? When Mike and I had just gotten married, I had won a contest for a stay at a beach resort; Tanjung Bidara. It was beautiful. Then. Fast forward about 10 years later, we visited the place again with our kids and....they had the same outdated curtains and bedsheets. My kids called it the 'mothball' hotel for a reason. When I read the reviews about some chalets in Desaru, I was silently laughing. I'd stayed there with relatives as a kid. I bet the only change they have seen, is the process of wearing out.

And then I also thought of Legoland and my boy was like.....'my friend said you'll enjoy it if you're a kid'. The theme room looked so cute but I didn't quite fancy Legoland in this hazy weather.

Anyway, Batam it was....(OK, that took too long to get here).

DAY 1

 

Harbour Front (Singapore)

Pretty clear day for a ferry ride if you ask me. We had booked Sindo Ferry tickets from Harbour Front (Singapore) to Harbour Bay (Batam, Indonesia). We could have saved SGD10 per person if we had chosen to go to Batam Centre instead but our last experience there (the queues! the chaos!) really put us off. Besides, the Sindo Ferry guy told us the 'no talking' rule was imposed over at Batam Centre but not at Harbour Bay. I have to say though, people were relatively quiet at Harbour Bay (Batam) when we were queueing up. Guess no one wanted to take the chance of being sent back on the next ferry! Did I say we nearly missed the ferry because parking charges at the open air carpark opposite Harbour Front has changed! I am so mad because we now have thirty dollars worth of S$2 parking coupons. When am I going to finish using 2 hourly parking coupons? My car's COE is going to finish in less than a year's time too! Arrrgh! Suggested taking a cab to Harbour Front but no, the mister wouldn't hear of it.

View of Sentosa Cove houses.



 




Didn't realise how much the Sentosa landscape has changed. How filthy 'rich' it has become.

 

The ride was fairly smooth. Ferry left on the dot. It takes a shorter time to reach Harbour Bay (the ferry company claims it's 45 mins). Customs was relatively 'smooth going' with a slight kink. When it was Mike's turn, he went up to the wrong customs officer who waved him to the correct one and the correct one looked pissed and wanted him to rejoin the back of the queue. Thankfully he had his wife (yes, me) to point to the front of me and say, 'He was in front of me' and his wife was actually next in the queue. Was kinda holding my breath wondering if he was going to tell us to get off the jetty into the next available ferry back home!

Sosro Teh Botol

 

Upon arrival, we went hunting for a local breakfast. Attacked my favourite drink; Sosro's Teh Botol. The bottle is too tiny I say! Gimme more!

 

 

Mee Rebus, less than SGD1.50

 

I thought Mee Rebus sounded good so I ordered a plate while the mister when went in search of goreng pisang (fried banana fritters). The gravy wasn't thick but it was quite delicious. At less than SGD1.50 a plate, it made it all the more delicious. In fact, when hubs returned to the table with his fried bananas, he tasted my Mee Rebus and ordered a plate for himself! The lady vendor looked really happy and asked me if it was nice! You don't see a plate of the Mee Rebus because we ate it up before realising we hadn't taken a pic of it.

 

We walked to a nearby Mall and found it deserted. Quickly caught a cab to our hotel and by then, it was just before noon and the hotel let us check in. We refreshed ourselves and headed to a nearby money changer (rates are better over there) before going for our Indonesian oil massage! We took the 1 1/2 hr package and it was bliss. Had Mike speak to them in Malay to not massage me too hard! they were very tickled when he told them to 'sayang' (love) me!  After that, we walked to Nagoya Shopping Mall for lunch. 

 

 



 

This kueh-kueh stall we always frequent & a yummy yoghurt from another stall

 

On our previous two trips, we bought this tau-kua kueh from a stall inside Nagoya Shopping Mall. The same young sales assistant served us. Same sleepy look. Same 'you are disturbing my sleep' look. If it weren't so delicious (can you see the green chilli sticking out?), I'd give the stall assistant a miss. I kid you not. She actually sleeps (rests her head on the counter) and there were times we had to wake her up!

 

Ok, anyway, I tried to replicate the tau-kua thingy but without deeping dipping in batter or deep frying and without the ubiquitous MSG. This is my version, cooked in the Philips Airfryer.

 

 

My version of the Indonesian Tau-Kua whachamicallit

 

I bought the white uncooked Tau Kua (bean curd for frying). I guess I could have bought the ones pre-fried but sometimes they have that 'old oil' smell (fried in recycled oil). So anyway, I pan fried them in very little oil to get the golden colour, cooked the veg and stuffed the Tau Kuas up. Then popped them in the Air Fryer. I should have tried not pan frying them to see if the Air Fryer can also give the same golden hue (will try again soon). Anyway, hubs loved it.

 

Back to Batam.

 

 



 

KFC

 

Who goes to Batam to have KFC? We do. Their chicken is so soft and tender! I insisted we eat KFC and Mike had to agree it was different and delicious. By the way, I understood nothing on the restaurant menu except the family meal. So seeing as it wasn't at all expensive, I just ordered it. It came with sticky rice (like the ketupat rice)! How thoughtful! I think they should serve rice back home too! I still think Batam chickens are anorexic for some reason (like not much meat) but who's complaining when it's delicious. We sat through a very stuffy and hot meal though. These eateries at Nagoya Shopping Mall do not seem to have aircon of their own. They seem to be borrowing the Mall's aircon instead! Phew!

 

Then we spent some time in our favourite hardware store, ACE. Okay, not just some time, we spent quite a lot of time there but I didn't buy much this time round. Hubs ended up buying a whole bunch of fake green plants. I'm amazed at the things one can buy there but probably only because we can't find them in a hardware store back home.

 

After ACE, we headed to the Hypermart. While the mister headed in the direction of the car accessories, I needed to replenish some toiletries (and lipsticks!) which I had bought on my previous trips. I'm not gonna mention the brand of the lipstick I use just in case the Singaporeans go snap it up! It is really good and I've had no adverse reactions to it. They last and are not at all drying. 

 

I was not surprised to find the Hada Labo stuff running low on stocks. My guess is the Singaporeans there caught on to the cheap prices they were going for over there. Managed to grab a couple of tubs of Hyaluronic Acid face creams (my favourite moisturiser) for a song. Truth be told, I am actually not a very big fan of Hada Labo because of one thing. The funny smell. Otherwise, they really do moisturise. They're not far from the truth when they say a drop locks in an ocean. But they should also say it kinda smells like death.

 

I have to mention I had used my Debit Card at the Hypermart and the cashier made me sign twice and he also wrote down some figures. I thought I saw him copying my security code from the back of the card too! His list carried other people's numbers too. It all happened so fast at the cashier's I just caught glimpses of what he was doing. I'm still feeling a bit weird about that; wondering if that's the norm. So far, checking against my bank records, the deduction is okay. But one cannot be too sure of a couple of months down the road. I had my one of credit cards 'scammed' earlier in the year by a car rental company in Europe while my card and human self was were still in Singapore. I received a texted message alert as soon as the transaction took place and called in to file a complaint immediately. I got billed a couple of thousand and the credit card company gave me a credit for that scammed value but I'm wondering about the interest I got charged between the time it got charged and the credit! Worthy of mention is when I shopped at Matahari (located in the same mall), the cashiers did not require me to sign twice.

 

 

 

Shopping made us hungry (again) and we had coffee and doughnuts. Again, I over ordered because ordering one doughnut wouldn't have been cost effective! LOL. Kept the balance in the hotel fridge.

 

We ended the night on a high.

 

Huge private KARAOKE room! 

 

Non-drinkers we are and so we ordered our boring Cokes. As with the last time, think we pissed off the waiter again who was probably expecting to make something from our order of Cognac or VSOP instead! Did I mention I pissed off a lot lady escorts-in-waiting just by being present beside the mister? I was in my T-shirt and shorts. What competition do I pose? Haha. They were all dolled up and some were stunning. It's not an ideal place for a family to hang out but it was located at the top of our hotel and we were too lazy to go anywhere else. Hubs had booked the smallest private room and it was huge. We had a blast, singing our hearts out! Cost us SGD21+ for the 2 hrs and our cokes.


DAY 2

We went to the morning market (beginning to dislike that place because of the intense heat!). I wasn't very interested in their wares this time round. While hubs nosed his way around the tents and tents of street vendors, I snuck into a nearby shopping centre, hoping to catch some cool airconditioned air. It was not to be. Saving energy as usual, the shopping centre had no aircon on! How do they expect people to want to shop there? I pitied the staff there. I was dripping with persipiration when I stepped out, not a penny poorer.

We caught a cab (if you can call it a cab) to Batam Centre. We were hoping to rest in the cab but when we entered the cab, it had NO AIR-CON!!! Hubs was pissed to say the least (because I had refused to take this private car who had offered Mike a cheap fare instead of a regular taxi). I realised I had been scammed too because his cab was probably unregistered. To be honest, I've not taken any cabs there who was willing to be paid by the metre. But fares are cheap. About S$5 from the Harbour Bay to the town or from our hotel in Nagoya Area to Batam Centre which is where we were headed.

Batam Centre is quite a nice place. It's like a regular shopping mall in Singapore with a mix of shops, spas and eateries. But it was 10am on a weekday morning and we briefly walked around before declaring ourselves bored out of our minds. Hubs stumbled upon a family karaoke place and suggested we spend the next 2 hrs singing (again)!

This room was much smaller but it came with free drinks and french fries : )

 View from the karaoke place in Batam Centre Mall

 

When hubs took a pee break, he came back so excited, urging me to take a pic of the view from another section of the karaoke place. I must admit, it was lovely. It's a bit distorted because I was taking it through the glass window.

 

 

By the time we had become pro in figuring out the complicated song selection system, it was time to throw us out. Throw us out they did cos we were trying to squeeze in one last song when the whole system froze. Hehe.

 

Got thrown out just in time for lunch!

 

 

We had lunch at a very cosy place just a few doors away from the Karaoke place.

 

And....last picture, I promise:

 

 

 



Each plate was about SGD2 while the steak you see on that hotplate (although not big) cost us SGD1.50!

 

After lunch, we headed back to Nagoya area because we found it too boring over at Batam Centre. We went to check out this new nearby spa and it turned out to be really good. It was newly renovated, the Indonesian music was soothing, the massage was good. It's difficult for me to fall asleep whilst being massaged but I did this time round! After the massage, we went shopping at Nagoya again!

 

Did I mention that the whole ladies shoe section at Matahari is filled with wedges (my favourite shoe type)! Probably the flavour of the month. Hubs pointed to them and asked me how come the old fashioned shoes are back in fashion. Haha. I used to wear wedges in the 80s. Love, love, love them. 

 

Unfortunately (for them and for me), the sales staff couldn't even figure out where they kept the stocks of the pairs I wanted. I only managed to buy ONE pair (just as well) for about SGD14 this entire trip. It was in denim and with straw lined wedges (my favourite)!

 

Honestly, although it was wedges galore over there, I find the taste a tad not in line with mine. Just either the cutting, colour or accessory was off.  I can find more pairs I like at our local OG shoe section in under one minute as opposed to glossing over their shoes for two days over at Matahari. I also did not find any clothes I fancied. Would they like to hire me as their buyer? Please?

 

Hubs on the other hand, found several shirts to buy for a song. Very well made and with good material. No wonder their men's department is more crowded than those found in our local stores.

 

Anyhow, it was late when we ended our shopping at the Hypermart (again) and we had dinner at Bistro Godiva and then headed back to the hotel for an early night's rest. 

 

 

DAY 3

 

The hotel breakfast was decent (local fare) and we popped over to the mall again for some last minute shopping. We checked out at 1pm and took the hotel cab (realised you pay about the same and it's safer) to Harbour Bay. We had planned to have lunch before boarding but when we booked our return trips, they told us a ferry was departing soon. So we left earlier than planned. We really spent up our last Rupiah before boarding. Bought a kueh lapis from a teochew speaking shop owner. He wanted a few dollars more than the Rupiah we had left but in the end, he just accepted whatever we had left. Hehe. In all, we only changed SGD300. The bulk of our spending was on the massages and karaoke. We gave seafood a miss this time round. Will save it for the next time when our kids around. For our next trip, we'll probably incorporate a beach side resort stay.

 

By the way, I have this to say. I find it very strange that in Indonesia (and Malaysia), the sales staff can sometimes make so much noise laughing and talking while working. Maybe it's me being a stiff-necked Singaporean. I just cannot get used to it. And turn on the blardy air-con! There, I said it.