Intimacy in marriage

It's been slightly over 23 years since hubs and I got married. With the state of the marriage as it stands today, I 'don't see us parting ways until 'death do us part'. I can only pray that God continues to bless us with a love-filled marriage. I can't predict the future or the odd behaviour of the human race, of which he and I are part of but I can trust in the Lord.

I could lie and tell you that all has been a rosy bed of roses but oh please! We are what you could classify as 'same same but different'. Yes, we do have several similarities. For example (and this is not exhaustive), we like 'chionging' (rushing) around like chickens with no heads while on holiday to maximise the time spent abroad. We both turn our noses up at uppity settings (the word 'tatler' comes to mind and does turning our noses up in turn make us snobs?) and have no time to play lapdog to people who expect to be well, lapdogged. We dislike long haul flights. We prefer travelling around Asia (we have been to Europe). Although we enjoy cold weather every now and then, we prefer to not have to lug thick coldwear with us when we travel. He is good with housework, I am not. He can smell a fart a mile away. I can fart to smell a mile away. I catch jokes. He needs to have the joke explained. I like to cook, he does not. We love hawker food. We love chicken rice, mee pok,wanton mee, briyani (chicken for me, mutton for him), wadeh (accompanied by copious amounts of fresh green chilli), laksa, nasi lemak, bak kut teh, dark sauce zhujiao/pig trotters, ikan bilis fried rice, durian and well probably some more. We both like sleeping on white Egyptian cotton bed sheets. We both eat chocolate in bed (yes, even with the white bedsheets) and we both get pimples the next day from eating the blasted chocolate. Oh, oh and lest I forget to say, we both come from humble backgrounds and are both poor church mice!

Ah, differences. Too many to count! I am an organiser. He is not. I think ahead. He does not. Let me paint the picture for you with an example. From this alone, you will be able to see how different he and I can be. This is when we travel. I plan the trip. I make the reservations. I pack for the trip. I buy the travel insurance. I set the alarm clock on the day of departure. I wake everybody up. I yell and shout. I plan the itinerary. I set the alarm clock during the trip. I carry the map. I carry the passports. I carry the extra copies of the passports. I carry the foreign currency. I carry our currency. I carry wetwipes. I carry batteries. I carry chargers. I carry EVERYTHING (and that's why I have my handy Longchamp by the way. He he). And he? He's on his ipad. When I get mad at him that ít's 3am and I'm still packing the luggages and we have a flight to catch at 7am and I am already dead tired coming back from work earlier and he's not helping.....he looks up from his ipad, catches me with his charming grin and tells me 'I know you can do it'! The plane is on the taxiway getting ready for takeoff and I am praying in Tongues and he is already....snoring.

Yep. It's that grin. The grin that made me go weak in the knees all those years ago. The grin that still makes me go weak in the knees.
I need not go into all our differences. That grin did me in and differences count for squat today.

I will just say (food again), I like soupy, saucy stuff and he likes fried foods. I like veg and he does not. I like rice and he likes bread. I like noodles and pasta and he does not. He likes cake and I do not. He claims he can eat bread alone and thus is not fussy when it comes to eating but I beg to differ. Having to feed him bread when I have cooked something else is not being easy at all!

With so many similarities and differences, it makes for a colourful relationship. Alot of fun, I kid you not! It really is an awesome friendship. I cannot deny I have had a roller coaster ride that is both scary and exhilarating at the same time! I'm not saying that I am RIGHT and he is WRONG. Nor is he right and I am wrong. No, no. On the contrary. We have differences and we agree to differ. We have learnt and are still learning to accept the differences. It gets easier with age because we tend to live and let live more now. And I guess, that is what being joyful in a marriage is all about.

God has been the glue that held us together through the roughest of storms but I also need to point out that we both share an intimacy that is sweet yet explosive. My favourite time of the day is when we wind down and are just about to fall asleep. Our arms and legs are entwined around each other (okay, except when his snores get too unbearable, then I'll inch away). We snuggle against each other and even though we may have had an exhausting day, the snuggles make everything all right again. Oh and sometimes, the snuggling gets a bit too much and things get explosive on the intimate front. S.E.X. Yep. I think why the glue has held is also because we are still great together, always experimenting with each other, always keeping it exciting even after nearly 24 years of marriage. We look like a typical Singapore Uncle and Auntie. Hehe. But who would think that things are so explosive behind closed doors? I think we have a few more good years of intimacy before our hormones will start to naturally wind us down and we'll perhaps enjoy cuddling more than S.E.X (bummer! humbug!). But before we reach the finish line, I'm making the most of the good run! Hello? Pass me the baton?!