Insulin resistance & weight gain caused by PCOS

My family and friends want to say this to me. But some are probably too kind. They want to tell me that I've put on a lot of weight recently. They want to know why. Some probably think I'm fat and lazy or gone into depression or something. Or maybe, they think I'm greedy. Sorry, it's none of the above. I have a medical condition which many people are having too and no, it's not contagious. It's more to do with organ failure.

I've written about my being insulin resistant before but I'll write about it again, just in case there's anyone with PCOS looking for information. I'm not a medical doctor and I've always hated studying science in school. I may not be factual. I'm just telling my side of the story. (Disclaimer: Read and believe at your own risk. I'm not going to be responsibility  responsible for you or anything. Period)

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I'm not writing about PCOS today. I'm writing about being insulin resistant as a result of PCOS. I only knew I had PCOS a few years ago when I had an internal scan and blood tests done at the hospital. I have been married 21 years and I did conceive 2 children naturally. My first child took us 3 years of trying before we conceived. Back then, I had my period every month but never at a fixed interval. It didn't cause me great inconvenience and I didn't think much about it. There was little awareness of PCOS and I only knew that I had a retroverted womb when hubs and I went for our separate checks to see what was hindering our baby making plans. Apparently, nothing was wrong with either of us. Hubs' sperm count was healthy and all I had was a retroverted womb, which my gynae said should not be any cause for concern.

We had a break of  nearly 2 years after the birth of our daughter, before we tried for our second. We were successful almost immediately (surprise, surprise). So, did I have PCOS already back then? Your guess is as good as mine. By the time I discovered I had what was known as PCOS, our two kids were already in their teens.

After the birth of my second child, I didn't have any issues with my period until he was about 2, I noticed I started getting hot flushes and when that happened, my temperament was odd. I didn't fly into rage or anything but I felt weepy and somewhat 'insecure' or 'unstable'. The hot flushes stopped after a while and my periods got 'slack'. I could go months on end without one. When you start reading about PCOS, this would be one of the symptoms.

Then I started to not lose weight. I don't say I started to put on weight because that sounds like I started to gorge myself silly with food or not take care of myself. I didn't. I'm not a health fanatic but neither am I crazy about sweet foods or unhealthy bingeing. I consume a fair share of veg, meat and carbs. Well what happened was I stopped losing weight even when I ate lesser. I mean, in the past, I could not eat and the weight would have just fallen off. But I realised that it stopped doing just that. Instead, I put on a kg a year. My son is 15 this year. In the past 10 odd years, well, you do the math. The only time I lost some weight was when I did belly dancing classes thrice a week. When I stopped, it piled back on again. Then when I moved house slightly over a year ago, I lost some again. It also piled back on again. I am back at pregnancy weight but this time, I'm not an expectant mother, excitedly waiting the birth of her newborn. I am waiting for this weight to go away. Looking back, the only times I managed to lose any weight was when I exercised vigorously. Just watching my diet alone didn't work for me.

So anyway, here I am. About 15 kgs overweight. We're no longer keen to have another child (so even if I don't ovulate, it doesn't really bother me) and for this aspect to remain status quo (the none child bearing I mean), we're praying that God gifts a child to someone who's wants one instead. I'm currently not on any medication and I go to the hospital every 6 months for a check. I just went for my recent one and again, the doc reminded me that I should try to lose some weight. THEN she says (sighing) that I have PCOS which is hindering my weight loss efforts. Yep. Chicken and egg situation. I have that so I can't lose weight. But I need to lose weight because I have that. What the heck.

I can't lose weight because PCOS renders my hormone, INSULIN non-effective in the distribution and retention of blood sugar in my cells / organs (which is necessary -- if you're normal, that's what insulin does for your body). So what happens is my blood sugar is instead converted to unhealthy fats in my body or passed out. So, in fact, I may have a lot more insulin than you but my insulin is not working very well. Then when I try to lose weight, the fact that my blood sugar is not being distributed to the correct organs / parts of my body, my body will start craving for the sugar fix. Ah yes. That explains the sudden urges for chocolate or donuts (even when I usually do not like them). Sigh.

In simple English. You need insulin to work effectively otherwise your blood sugar goes everywhere but where its needed. Then you will have sudden spikes of high blood sugar when you take foods which cause it to spike and you'll have occasions where you have sudden drop of blood sugar and you may feel faint. There is chaos in your house of insulin. Sigh.

I also went for my glucose tolerance test and I am pre-diabetic. Not YET but bordering on Type 2 diabetes. They had me fast the night before and in early morning, I had my blood taken before I was given a horrible sugar concoction. After 2 hours (which is to say, a normal person would have distributed that horrible sugar concoction effectively to the correct parts of your body), my blood was taken again. The results came back and I was called to return to the hospital ASAP. They said I was diabetic and had to go to the polyclinic for follow up. The doc read my blood test results and said I wasn't diabetic yet. I was bordering on it. So I had to go for counselling. I am allowed only 1 durian seed the next time we eat durians. That's how bad it is.

So what now? I've decided enough is enough. I'm not going to sit around moaning and groaning that my weight isn't budging the way I'd like it too. As I'd written in my last post, I've gotten off my butt and started exercising. We have a gym membership but I hate working out in an air-conditioned gym. I much prefer the fresh air. Pity that I don't have the opportunity to walk / jog when the sun is out (except maybe on weekends) but I'd rather be doing that.

In recent years, I've suffered aches and pains in my joints and I think my tennis elbows (both left and right) have really got me thinking. I think it helps that I've a walking / jogging trail just opposite where we live and I can pop right across the road and work out a sweat at any time of the night (which is when I am free). I usually only manage 1.2km but yesterday, I managed 1.6km. I could have gone on but for the fact that my running shoes (which I had kept in hibernation for some months) broke. One half of a sole fell out. This was last night. Some hours earlier, during lunch break, I had gone with Mike to take a look at running shoes. Then I had decided not to buy a new pair until my old pair got broke. Didn't expect it to happen THAT soon! We just went again just now to get me a new pair.

You, who are reading this and are already a runner, may be thinking, what the heck? What's the big deal about her running such a short distance? Well, hey, this is me, an overweight 40 + yr old, with aching joints, two damaged elbows and a big hatred for school scheduled 2.4km runs, trying to do her darnest to get fit. So, it is a big deal for me and for anyone who's in my shoes and knows how I'm feeling.

Anyway, I used to hate running. I don't think I'll ever like it. I used to feel so light headed from lack of oxygen and would feel faint. I just HATED running. But I've always harboured a secret dream to be a runner. In my dream (ever since I was 13), I imagined myself as a svelte and fit runner, ponytail swinging left to right, feet pounding the pavements ever so lightly. Well, I am pounding the pavements but very heavily like a hippo. But who cares? At least I'm doing something about it right? I'm going to extend my running distances bit by bit so that I'll be running more than brisk walking. I did push myself a bit last night and was pleasantly surprised that I didn't go out of breath.

By the way, I weighed myself before my jog last night (after dinner) and after (of course, all beginners are paranoid about weighing themselves, right?) and then I weighed myself this morning before breakfast. I've GAINED weight!!! Aiyoh!!! Should I be sad or glad? I didn't eat anything between the first weigh in and this morning's. Therefore, my fats must be converting to muscle, right? Ha ha. Self consolation. I must be right, lah. What else could be happening? Water retention? Possibly. I drank alot after the run. In fact, I usually drink a lot of water in a day. Aiyah, I don't know lah. I don't care if my weight doesn't go down. I want to be slimmer. I'll know from the way my denim shorts fit. I also don't wish to be a skinny-fat person (a person who looks slim but had has a lot of body fat).

I'm going to fight this insulin resistance problem by first acknowledging that it exists, then I'm going to find ways to battle it. I'm going to exercise and I'm going to try to eat foods which will help my insulin do the work better. I'm praying for God to help me to help myself. Will keep writing about my journey. Meanwhile, got invited to a buffet tonight. Sigh. Will go running thereafter, even if it rains.