Entering Holy Week, I've been feeling the urge to pray and pray. I've been keeping up my praying in tongues on a daily basis. Even if it's just short bursts of it. There are moments in my daily regime where I need it and I do it spontaneously. If I'm not alone, I just do it silently. I've begun to pray in tongues in my thoughts too. Reminds me of my friend from teacher training who was good in the sign language (for the deaf/mute). She started signing in her dreams. So sometimes, I'm praying in tongues silently. My lips are mouthing the sounds but my mind is having a back and forth conversation with God. This is how I hear Him. Unbelievable? Believe it. It's true. He says the darnest things and yet what He says is always apt and correct. He's always answering my questions with questions for me to ponder over. I can have a really long conversation with Him if I'm not interrupted. But my life is such that I don't really have much time to myself. I don't know how to tell you that God is very real. The Holy Spirit is very real. If I could shout it from the roof tops (of HDB blocks?) I would! GOD IS REAL!
In an attempt to improve my spontaneous praying, I've also been talking to God in English. Think that's the only way to improve it. I don't know how else to improve this weakness.
So, after attending the Life in the Spirit Seminar and being baptised in the Holy Spirit in 2009, this is how my life has changed. I am still very human. I sin. I lose my temper. I get angry. I get annoyed. I get upset. I do things I should not be doing. I say things I should not be doing. I acknowledge this. I acknowledge who I am. I acknowledge my sins and I try not to sin again. I do not pretend to be 'Holy Holy'. I try not to do or say things displeasing to God but it's really tough. So, just acknowledge it and try your darnest to improve. We're all on a journey. There is no one perfect except God.
But through it all, I try to retain an awareness that God is real in my life. He may seem intangible and yet, He's very tangible. Get what I mean? I need to see Him in most of everything, if not everything in my life.
Been going through some crap lately on a personal level. But I've been keeping up my conversations with God and that is what's kept me going. Mid-life crisis? Hmm, maybe. I've become wife, mum, daughter, employee and I seem to have totally lost myself. Me. Who am I? Where am I? What am I? I've never in my life, ever felt the need to go on a holiday on my own. But I feel the urge now.
Who Am I?
No, I'm not going on a Eat, Pray, Love crap journey. Nothing wrong with the words Eat, Pray, Love. Beautiful in fact. Never read the book but hated the movie. Usually enjoy Julia Roberts but could hardly sit through the movie. Thought the protagonist was totally self-indulgent. Lousy script writing reliant on heavyweight Julia Roberts' acting as its saving grace. Well, not the only saving grace. The Italian pasta, Punjabi suits and Bali beach was tempting.
Eat? Please, if I eat any more than I should be eating, the only thing I'll gain is more weight! In fact, I need to cut down my carbs to balance the weakening metabolism. But I do need to PRAY more than I
No, no, I'm not running away from home. If anything, I'm going to be running into the arms of another man...........................Jesus!!!
Funny thing, I also have this urge to run, literally. Yes. Run. I don't know why. Have had this urge the past few days. A Forrest Gump thing going on here.
In another lifetime, I may have upped and run away (to Italy? India? Bali?) but after being baptised in the Holy Spirit, I realise, I'm never alone. God is always with me. You are my Lord, Jesus, forever and ever and I rejoice in your Holy name! Amen!
Seriously, no, don't read more into it then you need to. My marriage is NOT in trouble. We love birds love each other too much. If anything, I love Mike more now then anything and I know he feels the same way. I just think it's time for me to slow down and FIND MYSELF. So, maybe I'll find the courage to go on a solo holiday.....some day soon. Meanwhile I have responsibilities to a lot of people around me and God is giving me the strength to carry on. Do YOU have God to carry you?
As you enter Holy Week, please take a moment to think how prayer can change your life and if you're facing difficulties in life, there's always Jesus to turn to. Take care and God Bless!
See you this Sat at the Changi V Flea Market.
5-11pm
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