Otak-otak life lesson

Have been missing in action quite a bit. I guess it was lent season and I wasn't very much in the mood for anything whiny or 'complainy' and usually that's what I do when I'm blogging; whine or complain!

You know, in a certain month in the later part of this year, I would have gone steady with the love of my life for 30 years. I love him....still. Very much. In fact, I love him more now than before. Also, as a person married to him for twenty over hears (I mean years, haha), I also probably 'hate' him more now (and only people married long enough will understand this love-hate relationship I am talking about!).

In our relationship, I've always been the noisier one, the bossier one, the control freak, the complain queen; the one who takes charge. Not by choice but by default. This is very important, hor. Don't be mistaken! I'd prefer my man to take control of me instead! ANYTIME! However, he admits, he's not good at organising. He doesn't care to get organised as long as the task at hand gets done. That means to say, it's the end result that matters more to him.

I shall not go into comparing both our strengths or weaknesses but suffice to say, in a 'sick' way, we complement each other. I get stressed as h*ll that he doesn't get things done and it p*sses him off when I get stressed and then him being p*ssed off p*sses me off. Vicious love cycle. Oh, how we love each other, much.

Anyhow, I wanted to concentrate on ONE of his BEST character traits. It's what we call, the ability to 'one ear in, one ear out' (selective hearing). He is a classic example of 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words cannot hurt me'. He cannot be moved if he doesn't want to be moved. Nothing you say or do can change his stubborn will. It irks me but it's also something I wish I had more of.

My post title is concerning the humble fish cake sticks; otak-otak. There are two people I call 'the bodyguards of a certain someone', all of whom I find extremely 'difficult'. Twice, for potluck, we brought this dish and twice we received funny 'attitude' and 'comments'. I don't care to repeat their exact words or reactions but let's just say that I didn't find it amusing to be on the receiving end of their weirdness presumably as a result of their extreme pettiness.

In such situations, my first reaction would usually be one of amazement that 'there are such people' and my second reaction would probably be to judge them as being 'difficult' people (I KNOW I should do less judging. I know, I know.). Then I'd go home and fume over how I let people walk all over me all the time and then decide that the best policy is to stay as far away from such people as possible. Sometimes however, that's not a possibility. I must say, when I meet people like that now, I will ask myself if confrontation is necessary. If not, then let it pass (in a manner of speaking, it means to let that person 'walk all over me'). Then I will 'recoil' and 'stay away' from interacting with 'such people'. In my opinion, that's probably as humble an action I can afford at this stage in my life as a Christian. I think it's already a very big step for me to not react or confront. But in trying to be better Christian, I sometime loathe that I have become meek.

Then I look at my husband. In a similar situation, he would just ignore the 'weird', 'odd' people and their comments. One ear in, one ear out or not in at all. He would just not react. He would not even hear them. He won't listen. He won't give a d*mn. He will still sleep soundly at night. Ha ha. Don't you just love that? I have much to learn from this man. I shared with him how 'p*ssed' I was by these people and his advice to me was to just ignore them. I guess that's how he ignores all my nagging too!

I always think my husband has not upgraded his internal memory storage card in a long time. There is no room in him for a lot more data from his daily life. His memory is literally selective. He really only holds on to a few things in his life and I think it's probably God, me, the kids, family, his love for singing, his plants and visiting Johor Bahru (perhaps not even necessarily in THAT order).LOL.

One ear in, one ear out. The very character trait that can be the source of my many sleepless nights; is the very character trait I wish to have more of. Life is good.