End of 2013

Be Still and Know that I Am God ~ Psalm 46:10

It's 30th December 2013. I end 2013 on a bittersweet note.
Bitter because I've just received some news on the work front which has left me bereft of speech. Sweet because my 2 kids have reaped the harvest of what they've sown.

Elaborate on the dark news I shall not. I'm not about to spend New Year's eve or New Year's Day dwelling on what the future holds on the work front. If people choose to break not-so-good-news just after Christmas and just before New Year, it's not on my conscience because it's not me being the wet blanket. It was not unexpected but still, the execution leaves much to be desired.

I am surprisingly calm because I rejoice (TRULY) knowing that one's employer is not God. I am comforted to know that God is my provider and in Him I trust fully. If God deems change necessary, He will provide and I am certain of that.

The irony is (and I am still talking about the dark news part), I would have normally been scared and worried sick by the news but I am not really. Instead, a few weeks prior to the 'bad' news, I received glorious comfort from God in the form of a message with very, very good news. It's like He gave me His Heavenly warning before I received my earthly warning. LOL. I have started to feel the celebratory mood inside of me already, even before I actually know what I will be celebrating! That does not make sense at all but loving and trusting in God does not have to make human sense. I just have to lose my fear, trust in Him and place my life in the palm of His hands.

I'm so, so happy to have made the move to cross over to a 5 day work week job all those years ago so that I could spend more time with my family. Perhaps if I had stayed, I would not have exposed myself to a higher risk of losing my job. However, the move has been worth it. I've had the opportunity to spend nights and weekends with them without any 'homework'.

Never keen to pressure our kids, education wise, we have always just poked them here and there once in a while to remind them of their obligation to do their best. Our kids have never been top scorers and we've never needed them to be so. Therefore it's with gratitude to God Almighty that we received news that our daughter was blessed with a really, really good GPA for her first semester in uni. I know she's elated and over the moon but I suspect she's not really surprised. I've seen the determination in her to do well. She and I think she has truly found her calling after 12 years of education via a not-much-choice route!

Our son received an award from our Member of Parliament yesterday. I had no idea how difficult it was to receive that award! Really had no idea because we're quite used to him receiving such awards at school level on a yearly basis. We've always been told by his teachers that they really, really like him. But we had no idea to what extent. Truly blessed!

To end, I realise as the years go by that I have fewer and fewer New Year resolutions. They have gotten plain and simple.

For 2014, I wish to be more still to know that He is God.

I wish all of you a good year ahead! Happy New Year and I do love you, Jesus : )

John 12:24

In recent weeks, I felt my physical self acting out the role of busy Martha (Luke 10:38-42). 

"As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me." The Lord said to her in reply, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chose the better part and it will not be taken from her."

If anything, the Lord has shown me that I have wasted much of my time and energy on the strength of my own flesh when I should have focused on the strength of His counsel.

It is no coincidence that thrice this week, I have been reminded by speakers that we use the fact that we are 'only human' to err. It is no longer good enough to be what I have been up to this point, knowing I have a lame excuse like that to fall back on. Enough is enough. I need change. I need to change. In fact, I already have and you will be amazed how much strength and steadfastness the Lord has provided me in recent weeks. I am amazed myself how He works. So I have decided, that I must step up my game to die unto myself. This is a reminder to myself as much as it is to you.

"Amen, amen, I say to you, 

unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, 

it remains just a grain of wheat; 

but if it dies, 

it produces much fruit." 

~ John 12:24

.....and I'm sorry if my changing hurts any of you. No, actually, I lie. I'm not really sorry. In the end, it's what God thinks of me that matters. That is the truth no one wants to hear. They want to think that everyone they know, everything they do and everything they own is what matters.

My epiphany time has come. This  revelation also applies to you. Yes, you who are reading this. You've had an inkling and you've watched me change over time. Maybe you're wondering. Maybe you gossip about it. Maybe you think I've become rude, insolent, depressed or suicidal (as the kids say, whatever!) But you know there is no truth in any of that. I'm seeking change because it is absolutely necessary to my maker (and He's YOUR maker too!). There are no two ways about it with God. 

Admit it. It's time YOU died unto yourself so that our Lord God may live. Get ready for criticism (from others) and much love from Jesus. The dare is on.

To God Be the Glory

It's the 50th Anniversary of the parish we attend; Church of St Vincent de Paul. Every year, around this time, before the Feast Day of St Vincent de Paul, we will have a Novena (9 evenings of mass), ending with mass on the actual Feast Day itself (so 10 days in all).

There will usually be a theme and this year, it's "To God Be the Glory". Different priests are invited to celebrate mass and the homilies follow the main theme. Here are the homilies:

19 Sept 2013 (Thurs) - God The Supreme Being

20 Sept 2013 (Fri) - God The Father Almighty

21 Sept 2013 (Sat) - God the Creator of Heaven and Earth

22 Sept 2013 (Sun) - God becoming Man: Jesus Christ - The Incarnation

23 Sept 2013 (Mon) - God lived among us: Life and Ministry of Jesus

24 Sept 2013 (Tue) - God suffered and died for us: Passion and death of Jesus

25 Sept 2013 (Wed) - God Exalted His Son: Resurrection and Ascension of Jesus

26 Sept 2013 (Thur) - God the Lord and Giver of Life: The Holy Spirit

27 Sept 2013 (Fri) - God continues working in His Church: The Holy Spirit in the Church

28 Sept 2013 (Sat) - The Blessed Trinity - Three Persons - One God (To be celebrated by Archbishop William Goh)

So, we're sort of concentrating on attending this at the moment and have had to say 'No' to invitations by friends and family to attend other stuff. This sort of makes us unpopular if you don't know where we're coming from putting our priorities right but Mike and I are in agreement on this so there.

Post LISS 2013

Our 2013 Life in the Spirit Seminar just ended and the participants are now attending growth sessions which will allow them to not only understand better what they have just experienced but also allow them to better manage the spiritual gifts they have received.

Having been in their shoes before, this is where I think the going will start to get 'tough'. The 'high' of the praying over and outpouring of the spirit weekend is slowly ebbing. If they do not continue to feed their spirit, this is probably when (and I'm speaking through experience), all sorts of distractions come in and they start to feel detached. When they start feeling detached, they may start to wonder if they had felt anything at all in the first place and then more doubts and laziness may creep in and perhaps, start to fester. Been there, done that. We've probably experienced this at some point in our spiritual journey with God.

Of course, not everyone will be like that. There will be those who will not slack and will be determined to stay the course. This message is not so much for them. I am more concerned about those who may think that they've not really received any obvious 'gifts' and may be feeling disheartened. Remember, I wanted so much to receive the Gift of Tongues and I did not receive it immediately. In God's own way, in God's own time.

Whether you received the outpouring of the Holy Spirit yesterday or 20 years ago, there is no difference. You need to stay on track with much determination and help. Small things help. Listen to praise music. Sing praise music. Read the Bible. Read books or watch videos which try to help build you spiritually. For me, the most helpful thing to do is to just talk to God like a friend. Break all your walls down and speak to Him the truth of what you are going through and what you are experiencing. Admit your weaknesses and ask Him to strengthen you where you are lacking. Ask Him to help you find your way. Ask Him to make it more bearable. Talk to God. Just keep having conversations with Him on a daily basis and you will find that it helps you so so much in your walk with God. The fact that you are talking to Him and asking for His help already shows your humility and willingness to embrace the love that our Lord Jesus has to offer. Then once you have started your baby steps, you can start to build upon your gifts and go and serve the Lord in the way He wants you to.

Just remember that as we all strive to stay on track with our journey with the Lord, that it's not so much about 'feeling' but about being consistently faithful to Him. It takes effort on our part and a lot of help from God. So even if you no longer feel the 'high', don't give up. Stay on track. I promise you that after a while, you will start to see tangible results in your lives.

When Jesus is the head of our lives

The recent haze in Singapore finally took its toll on me and I ended falling sick right when the skies were clearing up. So now, it's blue skies and I'm feeling worse than when the skies were grey.

I think I was already falling sick prior to that but had been gulping my Vitamin C in  a bid to prevent it. On the Sunday before the terribly hazy week in June, I had been tasked to provide a short testimony of my experience with the Life in the Spirit Seminar during 11am Mass at church. Actually, let me just say that BOTH my husband and myself were tasked to do it but he ended up giving all sorts of excuses and being a tai-chi master about it (delegating it to me).

A few days before that Sunday, I started to develop a slight cough. I managed to prevent it from escalating by 'drowning' myself with copius amounts of plain water and running to the loo umpteen times (this apart from my Vitamin C 'overdosing'). This was sort of my 'body cleansing' routine to rid myself of 'sickness'. Well, thank God I managed to not fall sick and I did manage to give my testimony.

Then the haze hit. Bad. At first I had no particular reactions but by the end of the week, I started to find difficulty breathing. I fell really sick a few days later and had to miss a mini retreat to prepare facilitators for our LISS 2013. But I was really happy how things worked out. First time feeling happy being sick. How sick is that?

Mike saw how sick I was and kept asking me how I was going to attend the mini retreat. I just kept quiet and tried my best to rest. I had no answer for him. I told the Lord, if He really wanted me to attend, then He had to make me recover in double quick time. Well, I guess not.

I'm not the sort to forget to set my alarm for the next day. In my sick stupor, I knew I hadn't set my alarm for Saturday morning's retreat and yet I couldn't even make myself do it. In my feverish state, I just slept. I woke up at 7am the next morning and tapped Mike lightly. He jumped up, got changed and left for church. Yes, without me and without my urging. You have no idea how proud I was of him.

I shall not go into further details lest I embarrass him but the Lord works in mysterious ways. For the longest time, I have felt my husband hiding behind me when it comes to doing the Lord's work. In the past 2 weeks alone, he has gone on to attend no less than FOUR Charismatic group functions, 3 of them without me. This from a man who protests too much. Can the Lord work miracles? Absolutely.

Meanwhile, the protesting husband is still in denial. I have been exceptionally quiet to his protests. My only affirmation for him is that when the Lord calls you to do His work, He doesn't make a mistake about it. If you think you can't do it, then just humbly tell Him your fears and let God know that you need His help. Big time! LOL! I also told him I'd help him (in the background) as much as I can and that he had nothing to fear. It's taken far too long for my husband to surface from the woodwork. It's time for the wife to take a backseat.

Here's something surprising. He helped out in a SACCRE event yesterday and did at first complain a tad cos it was right smack in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. I'd given it a miss because I hadn't slept the night before and I was still having my relently relentless cough attacks. He came home literally singing praises and telling me that he would attend the next one. He said someone had also felt a prompting to pray specifically over him and a group did pray over him. I shall explain no further. Do you understand the weight of what he'd said to me?

I'm still sick. Better in the day now but the crazy, hacking cough comes on worst in the middle of the night. I have not slept soundly in 2 weeks. But if being sick means my husband is in the process of being empowered by the Lord, then so be it. Praise be Jesus!

Life in the Spirit Seminar 2013

It's that time of the year again!
I can't stress this enough. LISS may be the one event that will turn your life around. It doesn't promise you a solution to all your problems but from my personal experience, the Outpouring of the Holy Spirit in your life is a step forward in helping you see with new eyes and love with a new heart.
We will start to live not by our own strength but by the strength provided to us by the love of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Life in the Spirit Seminar 2013

Organized by SILOAM, the Charismatic Prayer Group of the Church of St Vincent de Paul
Venue: Room #03-02 (same level as main office / church)
Cost: Free-of-charge (although a love offering of any amount is welcomed)

1 July (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm

~ God the Father loves you (Fr Tom Curran)

8 July (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm

~ Jesus saves you and sets you free (Bro Emmanuel)

15 July (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm
~ Jesus is the Lord of your life (Bro Jude David)

22 July (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm
~ You are called to be a disciple of Jesus (Michelle)

27 July (Sat) 9.30 am - 4.30pm
~ Jesus sends you His Holy Spirit (Inner Healing and Reconciliation)
(Bro Emmanuel & Martin Fernandez)

28 July (Sun) 2.00 - 5.00pm
~ You will receive the Holy Spirit (Laying of hands for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit)
(Jessica and Gerard Francisco)

5 Aug (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm
~ You are then the Body of Christ (Annemarie Gatenby)

12 Aug (Mon) 7.30 - 9.30pm
~ You shall be my witness (Commissioning Mass)
(Fr Henry Siew)

For further information, please email me at cartoonlagoon@gmail.com
I will then provide you with the contact number of the member in Siloam to call.
(I do not wish to post the contact number online for privacy reasons).

Disclaimer: No one told me to post the above on my blog. I did it because I have gone through this very life changing experience and I have a personal conviction of the good fruit that can be borne of your attending it. So please excuse me if the information posted above is wrong or subsequently changed.

SACCRE Pentecost Rally 2013

Come! Come join us for a fresh in-filling of the Holy Spirit THIS SUNDAY!!!!

The SACCRE Pentecost Rally will be held at 
the Church of St Vincent de Paul this Sunday 19 May 2013 
(held at our parish church in conjunction with its 50th anniversary celebrations). 
From 2 - 5 pm, there will be Praise and Worship, a talk, praying over and a ministering session. 
Then at 6pm, there will be Mass presided by His Grace Coadjutor Archbishop William Goh.

(Try to carpool or take public transport. Limited parking lots.)

Best way to grow out short hair

Haven't talked about my hair in a looooong time! This post is for people who are looking to grow their hair long from a short cut.

The picture on the left shows my hair length in September 2011 (with natural waves emphasized by a bad cut). The picture on the right was taken a year later. Actually, in the first shot, what you see is an unkempt bob. I was growing it out from a boyish, layered short crop (from December 2010 to September 2011). If I'm not mistaken, I had gone for a trim in September 2011 and it had turned out disastrous! I recall blogging about it.

So it took in all, to grow out from the short crop, it took 10 months
--> December 2010 to September 2011.

Then from the shoulder length bob to over the shoulder long hair, it took another 12 months
--> September 2011 to about September 2012.

I think it really weird but since my hair reached what I deem as 'long' in September 2012, it's grown amazingly fast. I have already cut it twice (actually 4 times if you count the repair jobs). I have no affinity with hair salons. Hair salons and I just don't gel. Two hair cuts, two hair disasters. The first time, just after that pic on the right was taken, I had asked the hair stylist to trim the ends straight. He chopped it off leaving one end higher than the other. I immediately went to another hair stylist to get it fixed. In all, I lost about 5 inches in that hair disaster. But I was OK with losing that much hair because I had cut off the dry ends.

The second time, in March 2013, I had gone for a trim. I specifically said a 'trim'. Just trim about 2 cm off, cut it straight across, follow the current hair. I just needed the ends to be neaten. I specified 2 CM, not  2 INCHES. The hair stylist (if she can even be qualified to be called that), lopped off about 3 inches and again in a lopsided manner. It was so bad, I didn't even require a mirror. I could tell by the way my hair fell on my shoulders that it was obviously longer on one end. Mike and the kids had a good laugh when they saw my hair. Hmmmph!!!

I had no choice but to go to another hair stylist to get it fixed and in doing so, I lost 5 inches in total for THAT trim experience. You know, I keep a straight hairstyle thinking it would be so simple that it'd be difficult for the hair stylist to go wrong. Well, wrong. It takes skill to cut straight. If you lack skill, it's far easier to cut layers in a customer's hair! LET'S JUST SAY I HATE HAIR CUTS!!! That is probably why my hair managed to grow out in quick time. I just left it alone and avoided hair cuts unless absolutely necessary.I don't like to give my hair much attention except to wash and condition it. The hair around my scalp turns oily if I do not wash it on a daily basis and I dislike the yucky oily feeling. Thus, daily washes are a necessity to me.

If you're growing out a short crop, you could choose to grow it out completely as is, that is with all the layers but it would look messy without constant trims. I prefer growing it out into a decent short bob by trimming the ends until the top layers meet the bottom. But it's a longer method and you need patience. Either way, you've got to trim the ends. From the bob, it'd be way easier to grow it long. But if you prefer growing it out in layers, well, I guess it'll still be okay but just messier looking.

I know I looked a mess for a long time but probably not any more the moment the hair length went past the shoulders. When my hair was at shoulder length and I needed an updo for a special event, I did have to put in some effort and I'd just put in some product (yucks, I hate that) and roll it up in curlers. I thought my hair looked pretty nice with some curls so in the end, when my hair was at shoulder length, I did get a digital perm. Large loose curls. Somehow, it's easier to leave your hair alone (I mean not cut or mess with it) when you have curls. When it got to 'bra length', I got it rebonded. Of course, that meant I compromised on hair quality but it really wasn't that bad. I just had dry ends which needed lopping off.

Currently, I keep my hair above 'bra' length. I realised I didn't enjoy it being too long. So I've been maintaining it about 2 inches above the bra strap. I actually decided to do this hair post because I'm considering chopping off my locks......been thinking of doing it for some time....well, we'll see.

Bob Canton Healing Rally at Church of the Risen Christ (19 April 2013 7.30pm)

I seldom post twice in a day but I feel such a surge of renewed energy, an empowerment from God that I had to post this now. God is amazing. Always, always, He stands with me and listens to me, never missing a heartbeat. I feel so renewed. No lethargy. No black clouds. No fear. Just strength. It's bright and sunny within me. Only God can do this to me. Only God can do this for you. Lift up everything to the Lord for He is good.

Mike and I will be rushing down to the Church of the Risen Christ tonight for the Bob Canton Healing Rally. Rushing cos I have to finish work first!

Here's my old testimony which I had written to Bob some years back after attending his rally. It somehow made it to the Church of the Risen Christ's website. I do recall them asking me permission to reproduce it. Am more than happy if my testimony can help any one reading it.

Here's the link to my testimony (and I hope they don't mind me linking back to them!):

http://www.risenchristcpg.org/index.php/testimonies/healing-testimonies/13-healed-at-bob-canton-rally

How awesome is God? I'm ready, God. Let the work begin.

Working Mother's Lasagne

Home made lasagne!

(Copyright Fiona C Yeo 2013)

Haven't posted about my cooking for some time. I do have some pics sitting somewhere in my phone or computer. There was cause for celebration yesterday and since I had most of the ingredients at home required to make it, I decided to bake my own lasagne. The ready-to-bake sheets came from a box but apart from that, I made the meat and cheese sauce from scratch (well to be honest, I didn't boil fresh tomatoes. I used tinned puree). I didn't really notice but I think this dish took me almost an hour from start to finish. That's too long for a weekday dinner. I usually give myself half an hour to prepare dinner, max.

The picture doesn't do it justice but both kids and hubby gave it two thumbs up. As my daughter said, if her brother claimed it was delicious, it meant it really was! (He'll usually go all Gordon Ramsay on me. Bluek!). I must admit, the cost of the ingredients to bake my own lasagne is above my usual budget for a home cooked meal. But it's still much cheaper than say ordering individual lasagne for the whole family in a restaurant AND my lasagne has richer meat and cheese sauces! By the way, I was horrified to realise at the end of baking that I had NOT tasted the meatsauce prior to baking. Was smacking my head for forgetting to do that. I may not usually taste my own cooking before serving but the taste of the meat sauce is crucial to this dish! Thankfully it tasted so good, I surprised even myself!

The baking tin you see in the picture was a square measuring about 9 or 10 inches per side (23 or 25cm) and it's only about 2 or 3 inches deep (5 or 8 cm). Not a very big tin but it should be enough to feed 6 to 8 people (depending on how greedy they are!). In future, I'd prefer to bake it in an oblong shaped tin that is deeper. Much like a bread tin. Have to go buy one. Hate it. I already have several baking tins and I don't bake cakes so I'm under utilising them but I find that different sized tins serve different purposes and are handy to have.

Anyhow, what was the cause for our celebration? I'd better keep mum for the moment. But it's just been a month or so since the release of my girl's 'A' Level results.....so....you can perhaps guess. I'm really thankful to God. Praise God!

Mike and I will be attending the Bob Canton Healing Rally tonight at the Church of the Risen Christ (7.30pm). For the record, I'd received healing the last time I had attended it. It was also there that I'd rested in the Spirit for the first time in my life. Have a nice Friday!







Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

How many types of Christians are there in this world?

And I'm not referring to Christian denominations (and I don't care that I'm not supposed to start a sentence with 'And').

I don't know where you stand in your Christian journey. Here's where I stand. Actually, where I sit.
I am neither the 'holy, holy' type nor the 'unholy unholy' type. Does that mean I'm Humpty Dumpty? Humpty Dumpty waiting to fall onto either side of the wall. Or will I sit here forever?

I don't fit in with the people who all the time are so prayerful, good and kind. Not a single bad word is spewed. If they think 'bad thoughts', they don't let the world know. No, I'm not like that (never say never but for the moment, no).

Nor do I fit in with the people who think God is better left as a Sunday stroll in the park. Don't bother me, God. I'll come to you only when I'm in trouble. I can't make myself talk about God too much; it's just not cool. I probably used to be like that but I can no longer because I am no longer the person I used to be. The Holy Spirit lives in me. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know where I want to go after my life is over and whom I wish to spend eternity with.

So I sit on the fence. Good and bad waging a constant war within me. I struggle.

Assertiveness vs Submissiveness.

Offence vs Defence.

Pride vs Humility.

Confrontation vs Acceptance.

Confidence vs Insecurity

Teenagers think they are the only ones with their insides raging. They're in for a rude shock. Unless you live the rest of your life under a rock, you will be battling your ghosts forever. It just moves from one level to another.

I was in a toilet last weekend and I heard some school girls chattering near the sink. One would speak, the other would answer in a reply pleasing and expectant to the speaker. Repetitious cycle of a conversation. Total rubbish. Inane chatter. How I could care less at my age now to participate in their conversation. But I did when I was their age. It was expected of me or face the wave of loneliness that comes from being different from your school going peers. Be like them. Speak like them. Think like them and you will have friends. Because if you have no friends, you will be handicapped. Really? In the end, if you're lucky, you will realise that you are your own best friend and if you see the light, you will realise that Jesus should be your best friend.

When asked recently how I was. I expressed that I was in the process of getting rid of rubbish in my life. I presume some people assume I am starting to crawl under a rock. Maybe so. It takes a lot more guts than you think. If you're honest with yourself, there are probably tonnes of people in your life or tonnes of events or things in your life you could care less about but you just go with the flow because it is expected of you. So I'm happy to announce that I'm probably gonna be pissing a lot of people off. I'm gonna be throwing a lot of stuff out. This is my process of dying unto myself so that God can live in me instead.

What does it mean to get rid of the rubbish in my life? For lack of a better word; Decluttering. Decluttering humans and things. Of course, the question is, as a Christian, am I allowed to be 'dropping' people from my 'friends list' because it sounds like such an unchristian thing to do? What does God want me to do with people who are constantly unfriendly, trouble makers, no good doers or plain weird? I"m like a kid again. Do I 'friend' all of them? I find it very tiring and my heart doesn't seem to be big enough for that role. Handling their sh*t; that's where the tiredness stems from. So I battle on, this war of mine. It's not that I've grown dark. It's that I've grown light. In a sense, consider me a modern day Robin Hood.

Let me tell you that it is true. God is with you all the time. If only we stopped to spend time with Him. If only we take the trouble to walk with Him. If only we recognise it when He steps in to help us. I was feeling so tired writing my last post. Had a good chat with God and told Him exactly what I was feeling. Without my knowing, he blew the dark cloud over almost immediately. He planted a new surge of energy in me; much like having my battery recharged. I woke up refreshed. His love for me never ceases to amaze me. Much like the prodigal son, or Gretel, I  have to find my way home before I get cooked by the wicked witch.

It strikes yet again

So it strikes yet again.

Woke up to the news of the Boston Marathon bombing.

I actually had had a very long night. Did some thinking, made some decisions and was all ready to rant on my blog. But really, really, how awful could my night have been compared to what the bomb victims, their family and friends experienced? In a matter of seconds, lives have been changed forever and there I was, across the globe, wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. Pitiful, pathetic and ungrateful me.

I shall instead give praise to God Almighty that I am still alive and breathing. Really, my stupid ass self should just shut up my brains and my heart and learn to be less uptight about everything. Everything and probably everyone as well. Apparently people do not react well to my assertiveness; then lost, now found. Only goes to show how much I have swallowed in submissiveness over the years.

Up to this point in my life, I have served only others, giving very little regard to myself and yet, it doesn't seem to have been enough and nor will it, I suspect, ever going to be good enough. I am tired. I am spent. I think the only opinion I should really care about is that of God's. After all, He truly, truly has been the only one who's been there for me.

Run along then all you others. Go fly a kite. 

Me and my God, I'm going to take a nice, long walk with Him.

If you're drowning, don't hesitate to not call me.

Otak-otak life lesson

Have been missing in action quite a bit. I guess it was lent season and I wasn't very much in the mood for anything whiny or 'complainy' and usually that's what I do when I'm blogging; whine or complain!

You know, in a certain month in the later part of this year, I would have gone steady with the love of my life for 30 years. I love him....still. Very much. In fact, I love him more now than before. Also, as a person married to him for twenty over hears (I mean years, haha), I also probably 'hate' him more now (and only people married long enough will understand this love-hate relationship I am talking about!).

In our relationship, I've always been the noisier one, the bossier one, the control freak, the complain queen; the one who takes charge. Not by choice but by default. This is very important, hor. Don't be mistaken! I'd prefer my man to take control of me instead! ANYTIME! However, he admits, he's not good at organising. He doesn't care to get organised as long as the task at hand gets done. That means to say, it's the end result that matters more to him.

I shall not go into comparing both our strengths or weaknesses but suffice to say, in a 'sick' way, we complement each other. I get stressed as h*ll that he doesn't get things done and it p*sses him off when I get stressed and then him being p*ssed off p*sses me off. Vicious love cycle. Oh, how we love each other, much.

Anyhow, I wanted to concentrate on ONE of his BEST character traits. It's what we call, the ability to 'one ear in, one ear out' (selective hearing). He is a classic example of 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words cannot hurt me'. He cannot be moved if he doesn't want to be moved. Nothing you say or do can change his stubborn will. It irks me but it's also something I wish I had more of.

My post title is concerning the humble fish cake sticks; otak-otak. There are two people I call 'the bodyguards of a certain someone', all of whom I find extremely 'difficult'. Twice, for potluck, we brought this dish and twice we received funny 'attitude' and 'comments'. I don't care to repeat their exact words or reactions but let's just say that I didn't find it amusing to be on the receiving end of their weirdness presumably as a result of their extreme pettiness.

In such situations, my first reaction would usually be one of amazement that 'there are such people' and my second reaction would probably be to judge them as being 'difficult' people (I KNOW I should do less judging. I know, I know.). Then I'd go home and fume over how I let people walk all over me all the time and then decide that the best policy is to stay as far away from such people as possible. Sometimes however, that's not a possibility. I must say, when I meet people like that now, I will ask myself if confrontation is necessary. If not, then let it pass (in a manner of speaking, it means to let that person 'walk all over me'). Then I will 'recoil' and 'stay away' from interacting with 'such people'. In my opinion, that's probably as humble an action I can afford at this stage in my life as a Christian. I think it's already a very big step for me to not react or confront. But in trying to be better Christian, I sometime loathe that I have become meek.

Then I look at my husband. In a similar situation, he would just ignore the 'weird', 'odd' people and their comments. One ear in, one ear out or not in at all. He would just not react. He would not even hear them. He won't listen. He won't give a d*mn. He will still sleep soundly at night. Ha ha. Don't you just love that? I have much to learn from this man. I shared with him how 'p*ssed' I was by these people and his advice to me was to just ignore them. I guess that's how he ignores all my nagging too!

I always think my husband has not upgraded his internal memory storage card in a long time. There is no room in him for a lot more data from his daily life. His memory is literally selective. He really only holds on to a few things in his life and I think it's probably God, me, the kids, family, his love for singing, his plants and visiting Johor Bahru (perhaps not even necessarily in THAT order).LOL.

One ear in, one ear out. The very character trait that can be the source of my many sleepless nights; is the very character trait I wish to have more of. Life is good.

Episcopal Ordination of Coadjutor Archbishop William Goh

Let me start by apologising if I get his 'title' wrong. I don't mean any disrespect but I hope I've got it right by saying we attended the Episcopal Ordination of Coadjutor Archbishop William Goh on 22 February 2013,

This was taken with His Grace after the Mass

(photo taken by my good friend's son)

It was only by God's grace that both Mike and I managed to attend it. Not because we had no intention of going (I had applied for leave from work in advance, in anticipation of attending the event even before the tickets were out) but because early that week (the ordination had been on a Friday), Mike had suffered a very painful foot injury and my dear hubby had been bed-ridden (moaning and groaning I may add) for a couple of days with a swollen foot. If he did walk, it was at snails' pace and with much pain. Me? I had felt some funny insects biting my undereye area and had itchy-finger-ly applied some cream. I'm not sure if I had an allergic reaction to it or because I had scratched the undereye area and my skin had been 'broken' but I woke up the next day to my eyebags and cheeks being super puffed up. It took me a whole week to get them back to normal. In fact, you probably can't see clearly in the photo above but I still had my motherload of weird wrinkles at that time. They had not completely gone away yet. 

Meanwhile, after suffering over the weekend, my hubby finally went for an x-ray which showed no fractures (praise the Lord for I am sure the Lord heard our prayers for healing!) and little by little, he managed to hobble a little faster. My swelling more or less subsided after 3 days but I was left with another problem. The thin eye area had ballooned and then subsided, leaving me with a whole lot of never-seen-before wrinkles! It was horrific. The skin was cracked and flaking! I had a glimpse of how I could look in the hopefully, distant, distant future. Anyhow, in another post, I may share what I used to get rid of the wrinkles overnight!

So back to the Ordination.....when we were both ill, we decided we weren't going for the Ordination. But seeing as Mike and I were on the road to recovery, we felt sorry that we had not signed up for the tickets. Wednesday night, we spoke of going. Thursday morning, we got offered tickets. As the Lord would have it, we did go. How wonderful is our God?

To cut a long story short, the Ordination Mass was simply beautiful and His Grace? He touched me with his humility. He IS very much a people's priest. You should have seen the people cheering. Now, he's known as His Grace, Archbishop Coadjutor William Goh but to me, he will always be Father William Goh, the very nice, funny, down-to-earth and more importantly, anointed and Charismatic priest! Whatever name you call him by, we are very blessed to have him as our new Archbishop. Very, very blessed. Thank you, Lord for this wonderful Gift!

Valentine's Day 2013

Mike and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day anymore. Prices are upped and it seems silly to spend more just to go with the flow on a single day in a year when you could buy spend less on the same thing the rest of the year. In fact, we didn't even do anything extravagant on our recent wedding aniversary. Low key is the phrase. So this Valentine's Day, I really hadn't expected it; that he would present me with this:

And a nice, comfy blouse that was way, way too big! *grin*

Okay, because of that bouquet..... I'm willing to ignore the fact that I'd pathetically cooked and eaten Valentine's Day dinner with my old folks and that he'd been out and only given the stuff to me like with 2 hours left of Valentines' Day!

I thought it was so sweet. I was so moved by the gesture. It literally moved me to tears. Then the warm, big, bear hug that he's so good for, came followed with some mushy phrases *double grin*. What's the big deal you may say? The big deal is we've been married more than 20 years and some time back, we'd decided to do away with expensive gifts for each other (no need to crack head to buy something we may not really need). So it was a pleasant surprise. Anyone who knows what I mean, knows what I mean *grin again*

And if you're constantly receiving flowers, gifts or treats from your man, then no, you won't know what I mean *I'm grinning alot*!!!



Our daughter received a single stalk too from Daddy. Sweet, huh?

Pink Feather from an Angel

Have been walking with a lump in my throat the past few days. Have broken down and wept every now and then. Mike is equally affected. We are not alone. I am very sure that many parents are feeling the same way we feel.

Two young boys were killed in a road accident in Tampines, Singapore. The older brother was riding a bicycle with his younger brother as pillion. He had gone to the younger sibling's school to pick him home after co-curricular classes. They got hit by a cement mixer. Death was instant for one who'd been run over by the vehicle and according to the account of a witness, the other struggled to get up but collapsed and did not move again.

To sidetrack a bit, just to demonstrate that prudence is required even in the virtual world, pictures of their serious injuries were snapped and went viral online. Although I get that people just wanted to sympathise, it was in really bad taste to keep the pics in circulation. The general public consensus was insensitive to the family's feelings. Thankfully, people have more or less stopped the circulation. I did see the pics and I cannot get them out of my head. Not because it was gory or distasteful. More because I feel so, so sad for the parents and family members. I would like to say that as a parent, I empathise but really, how could I know the extent of the pain of the parent? If I as a complete stranger can break down because I can't take the pain of seeing how their lives ended so tragically, I cannot even begin to understand what their parents must be going through.

My son cycles. He has recently become an avid cyclist (with 4 bikes to his name) and has covered the Punggol Park Connector all the way from Yio Chu Kang till Punggol Beach and back (several times). He has ridden on the roads too. You should take a look at how tough his leg muscles are now. He is a very responsible rider; careful to wear his helmet, proper shoes and has safety lights all over his bike and himself (including the back of his helmet!). But I said to him last night, 'Not enough lights! Is there such a thing as a transparent helmet lined completely with lights!? You should wear that!' He suggested jokingly that he should just wear Christmas lights. No, Mummy is not kidding. A few blinking lights ain't gonna stop a daydreaming driver.

I reiterated to him that sometimes, as a driver, I have not-so-alert moments. I've explained to both my kids countless times, that drivers have bad days too. They might be distracted just for that moment and even when the light is in your favour, even when you think the vehicle has seen you, always, always always, err on the side of caution. One can never be too careful. One can never remind a child enough.

My point is not really to elaborate on the tragic deaths of the two young boys. My point is about prayer for our children. There's only so much we can do to try to ensure their safety. As a driver, I see on a daily basis, vehicles who break the rules, who run red lights. I see pedestrians who break the rules and who 'walk' red lights. Is it just me or am I getting the feel that it's become more rampant in recent years than in the past? All I can do is pray for the safety of my kids.

As a Catholic parent, I'm also asking my kids' Guardian Angels to watch over them, to intercede for them. I'm not kidding about this. I definitely believe in Angels. Speaking of Angels, since this is my blog and I'm free (with reasonable restraint) to write what I like.....here goes.....

A few years ago, someone had related to us, a near death experience and a visitation from a 'pink angel'. I don't know why, I've never thought of that story as being ridiculous and I truly believed the story although that person's relative told me to take the story with a pinch of salt. Now, remember the words, 'Pink Angel'. Fast forward to now.

I believe in Angels but I don't know if there are any which are specifically pink! However, a few mornings ago, I'd asked fervently for the angels to do an urgent intercession. That afternoon, as I was working in the office, a pink feather floated down on me. This irritating 'thing' just kept floating around me and not knowing what it was, I tried to sweep it away with my hands. No matter how I tried, it just kept hovering around me. Swept it left, right, up, down but it finally landed on my palm. I realised it was a soft, fluffy PINK feather.

My first reaction was to look up at the ceiling. Nothing. Windows, nothing. My office windows are never opened because the room is fully air-conditioned. I looked up and there was nothing to indicate where the feather could have fallen from. I looked around me and there was nothing pink. No pink stuffed toy. No pink clothing. No pink shawl. No pink bird. Then I knew in my heart that I'd been supernatually given a sign from an angel : )

Call me crazy. But I know it in my heart. In fact, this is the second time I've come across a feather when I was waiting for a sign. So to me, Pink Angels do exist after all : )
Some months back, I had a desire to paint angels (I don't know why) and this pink feather has again revived my interest. I've drawn a couple of drafts but you know me....sometimes, I get so caught up with my daily work, I don't know how to find the time to start painting again. Sigh.

Healing - Little Finger

Forgive me, Lord for even I find it hard to believe. How do I expect my blog readers to believe then? Believe what?

(Was going to post a pic of my little finger and discovered I can't load pics easily to blogger from my PC anymore. Super annoying. Aaaaarrrgggh! I got around it by going to 'html' format and uploading then switching back to 'compose' -- just in case you're facing the same issue)

My humble unmanicured little finger in its back-to-normal state

Anyway, back to this. I've been having pain in the top knuckle of my little finger. For some reason, my left little finger has been sticking out like a sore 'thumb' (only it's not the thumb but the little finger). It's been stiff and 'unbendable'. Because it's been stiff, I've actually jammed the whole finger into solid surfaces (while doing chores) and suffered excruciating pain shooting through the finger. How silly. Don't ask me how it's possible but after having jammed it into something a couple of times, the uppermost knuckle started to swell a little and feel painful. I've been wondering if I've actually fractured it or something (imagine the effect of poking your solid stiff finger into a solid surface at a great force).

After my experience with my fractured toes (where I could do nothing but let it heal naturally), I was sitting at my table this morning, just wondering if it'd take 6-8 weeks or so to heal naturally (if there really is a fracture). I pressed the knuckle again and the pain was excruciating. So I just grasped the whole finger with my other hand and asked Jesus to send His healing.

It was instant. The healing that is. I kid you not. Not even I can believe it. I am quite in awe. Don't get me wrong. I BELIEVE that Jesus CAN heal. Without a doubt, I do believe. I just didn't quite expect it to be instant. No pain, no stiffness immediately after the prayer. It's totally been healed. Thank you, Jesus. Praise God, I am humbled by your love. I know you have sent me a sign.

I do not think it's a coincidence that I received this sign from God today. He knew I needed discernment about something that's been bugging me for a few months now. Also, Mike and I had happened to have a conversation about healing whilst walking from our carpark to our flat last night. Only Mike knows what I needed discernment about. We'd just come back from our Charismatic Prayer Group meeting. Early days yet to say anything. All I can do is wait upon the Lord. It is He who gives me strength where I think I can't possibly have strength! All things are possible through Him. All glory is His! : )

Episcopal Ordination Mass for our Coadjutor Archbishop-elect, Msgr William Goh

FRIDAY 22 FEB 2013
will be a special day. That's the date planned for the Episcopal Ordination Mass for our
Coadjutor Archbishop-elect, Msgr William Goh
(I'm sure more details will be provided via the churches soon).

Mike and I are thrilled that Msgr William Goh is going to be our next Archbishop! This is a great blessing for the Catholic Charismatic Renewal in Singapore.

In Oct 2012, I wrote a post about Fr. William Goh (then still known as Fr. William Goh) blessing my rosary at the Catholic Spirituality Centre and how special that rosary and pouch were.

(read the short post here)
http://cartoonlagoon.blogspot.sg/2012/10/gifts-of-rosary-and-pouch.html

Well, it's all the more meaningful now. Thank you, God for all blessings, big and small!

Comforted by God's love

I've started 2013 feeling very loved by God. What about you? Is it missing from your life?
It's a wonderful feeling. I'm not sure how I got to this point, but I have. It's been quite a journey (the past few years) and I'm grateful for everything, every event, every moment I've had to experience.
I no longer look for God to work big miracles in my life. I'm just enjoying my days talking and sharing with Him and He me. I'm not spouting my holiness. Far from that. I'm sharing with you how crazy in love I am with God and how His goodness is with me all the time nowadays. To someone else, good things which happen are coincidences. To me, they are blessings from God and I'm reminding myself to keep thanking God for His goodness.

Here's my small Red Bull blessing from God.

Mike and I had taken a break at a rest point along the North-South highway. We were both tired after a fun-filled day. He'd bought 2 bottles of Red Bull and we'd started our homeward drive again. I opened one bottle for him and held it for him between sips (as he was driving). Tiny bottle, so he finished it quickly, I tried to open the other bottle for myself (I need to keep awake too when he drives so I can make sure he stays awake whilst driving!). But tried as I might, I couldn't move the metal bottle cap. It was so easy to open the first, I couldn't understand why this one wouldn't budge. I tried and I tried. I didn't tell Mike because I knew he'd offer to open it for me (and he always does -- open jars for me, that is -- I just love how strong he is! *blush*) and I didn't want him distracted from the driving. So I just kept quiet and wondered how I could pry open the stupid bottle cap. I continued gripping it hard and twisting but it wouldn't budge

I gave up. I whispered, 'Lord, please just supernaturally open this bottle for me'.
I felt Him say, 'Tap 3 times'.
So I did. I tapped the bottle cap thrice (very lightly) with my fingertips.
Low and behold. I just gave it a simple twist with my finger tips. It opened.

Hmmm.... call it a coincidence. Call me crazy. I don't care. I call it God's divine intervention and how He shows His love for me even in the smallest of ways.

Today, I had my medical appointment at the polyclinic for the purpose of monitoring my blood pressure and some other stuff. Said my prayers whilst driving there and called upon the healing hands of Jesus. I placed my trust in Him and knew that He could work miracles for me. If the doc finds my pressure still high, I will be placed on meds (for life, as you may know). I went slightly earlier and made sure to sit and feel relaxed before my appointment time. Of course they were late and I had plenty of time to sit and stare inanely.

However, there was some mix up and I ended up running in and out of the doctor's room to another counter and back to the doctor's room. She then said she'd just take my BP and I was going, 'Of course it's going to be sky high now!' (after all that running about). But guess what? When the Lord heals, the Lord heals. There are no limits except what we place with our human minds. Despite common sense telling me that my BP reading would be inaccurately high because of my physcial anxiety at that moment, it was an OK reading. Thank, God for that! For now, no meds. Praise the Lord! Yippee!! I'm off to a good start for 2013!

Danau Kota 'Uptown' Setapak Night Market

Happy New Year, everyone!

I realised that I had closed 2012 without making any resolutions for the new year. As I move along in life, I realise I have less need to make resolutions. I am already grateful for the life which I have now. Any problems I may have or which may arise along the way, I have no doubt that God will be with me to guide me through it. I do not fear. So really, I have not made any new year resolutions. But truth be told, at the back of my head, is that 'project' which I feel I've been prodded by God to accomplish. So maybe THAT. But for now, no details.


Hubs and I hit the road again after the Christmas celebrations. It meant I had to miss my epic VJC reunion for the 'pioneers' of the JC (1984, 85 and 86 batches) but I'm not too sad because I am in regular contact with a small group of my former '85-86 schoolmates anyway. For the past few years, hubs and I have gone away (just the two of us) just before New Year's Day. It's to relax after the Christmas celebrations. The weather is usually cool, the office isn't as busy because most of our associates are closed anyway and the kids would still be on holiday. Perfect time. But because we prefer to spend New Year's eve with the kids, we don't really have much time away. We'll usually rush back before New Year's eve. It's OK. 2 or 3 nights away alone is good enough for a couple to rejuvenate! All married couples need alone time and it doesn't matter where you are. Escape time is more like it and Mike and I just love taking more short trips over fewer long trips anyway. This time round, we had a hotel stay which included some Balinese spa pampering. I had to be careful about my 'ex-fractured' toes not being massaged but apart from that, it was some much needed pampering. Just nice for me but hubs found it too 'light' for his liking.

Jalan Alor, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (food street).

We went to Jalan Alor for dinner one night. Ok lah. So so only. Have tasted better food elsewhere in Malaysia. The highlight for this trip though, was a visit to Danau Kota Uptown.

Danau Kota 'Uptown' Setapak

A sprawling night market (Pasar Malam) in Setapak which opens only at night and until the wee hours of the morning. Actually, it's much like a huge Geylang Serai pasar malam.

Danau Kota 'Uptown' Setapak

Mainly selling clothes and shoes. We tried our best to cover the whole place but I gave up and gave the last two rows a miss. My feet just couldn't take it anymore and that's after swishing down 2 cans of coke too. Me, giving up an opportunity to shop. Yes, it's that huge. It's a huge fenced area with tents, tents and more tents. Give it a miss if it rains because it's in the open. But otherwise, quite a nice place to experience. We didn't know where this place was. Had only heard of it from another cab driver who'd told us that this place 'uptown' was huge, prices were cheaper than town or Chinatown (yes, they are a tad though I wouldn't bother to go all the way there to get a shirt a few dollars less, taking into account the distance it is from KL town itself). Believe or not, there are many 'uptowns' in Malaysia. I only discovered that when I tried to locate this place. Couldn't define which one the cabby had tried to recommend so we decided to ask around instead, describing it as sprawling and opened till the wee hours of the morning. I tried to remember the route there so we can drive there one day but gave up half way. Will need to rely on the GPS but only if the dumb Marbella we own doesn't decide to bring us via a twilight zone route.

A relatively friendly cabby took us there for RM20 (about SGD8 - of course not following the metre lah but considering it was jammed in the Bukit Bintang area when we had spoken to him, it's not too bad). He was a bit worried we wouldn't be able to find a cab back to our hotel in town so he'd given us his name card too. Then he made sure to tell us which side of the road to wait for the cab so it'd be in the direction of the hotel. He reminded me to hold on to my bag (watching out especially for motorcyclists). Coming back, we took a metered cab and really, including the surcharge (yes, there's a midnight charge of I think RM3) the difference was only a few ringgit short of the trip there so we hadn't been ripped off that much earlier. Is it safe? I didn't feel unsafe at all. It's quite crowded. Also, easy to catch a cab in the wee hours of the morning. But of course, as always, my arms and shoulders ached from gripping my handbag too tight.

Why do we keep hopping over to Malaysia? Good exchange rate, lah. Why you think! Also time constraints. Anyway, we prefer travelling around Asia. Just love soaking in the ethnicity of Asian cities : )
Singapore is right smack in the middle of South-East Asian countries. It's so convenient to just book a ticket and go. So fun! We've been to Europe and find European cities a tad less exciting. He and I feel no urge to go anymore for the moment (although the kids would like to). Asia is definitely more vibrant. He and I are the type where we can't sit still during a holiday. There's so much to explore. You just need to know where to look.

Am already staring at the calendar. Can't wait for our next trip! Have a great year ahead!