I am Catholic. Heidi Baker is not. I know I'm going to raise heckles just by saying this but I've learnt so much from Heidi Baker's stories (and I don't particularly care if it irks you that I like her). Just Google her or Youtube her (that would be best). She is a missionary who has spent the better part of her life ministering to the poor in Africa. I've just learnt that she's not turned back since she was baptised in the Spirit at 16. She's now in her early 50s.
What have I learnt? To accept the Glory of God in a most childlike manner. It is dying upon yourself and in a most childlike, innocent way, to embrace God and yield yourself unto Him. She is very childlike in that sense and I love it. She speaks from her heart. I get very excited hearing her speak because I too am like that. I feel like a child reaching my arms upwards, hoping my Father will give me the candy. Not everyone reacts to her the same way. Not every reacts like her. You need not be that way. There are many ways to react but I love, love, love the way she just opens her arms and her heart to Jesus.
When Heidi was told by God that she was being called to be a Minister and she'd be ministering in Africa, her human world around her went sort of chaotic, as you can imagine. She came from a privileged background and her parents and friends thought her quite crazy. Yet, she yielded the calling from God, came into His presence and never looked back. It has been a rough ride but hey, she has God on her side!
Nothing is impossible with the Lord. Nothing. I believe it.
I want to have that childlike innocence of Heidi Baker and continue to be in awe and wonder of God.
I am jumping up and down, my arms stretched out to Him, shouting,
"USE ME, GOD!!! USE ME, GOD! I WANT TO YIELD MYSELF COMPLETELY TO YOU. I DON'T CARE IF THE OTHERS DON'T GET IT. I DON'T CARE IF OTHERS THINK ME CRAZY. I DON'T CARE IF EVEN MY CHRISTIAN FRIENDS THINK I'VE LOST IT. I GET IT. USE ME, USE ME, MY LORD."
If anything, my year spent away from ministry has really strengthened my faith and my prayer life. He has a purpose for everything. He knew He had to take me away from ministry and let me grow. He knew I needed time away from it. He knew I needed to fix some broken parts of my life. He stood by me faithfully and I clung onto Him like a lost child. I don't know where I would be today without Him. I don't know where I'm headed but I've got God on my side. Lord God, you are simply amazing : )
What started as a blog about hand painted shoes has become an online journal for a simple working mother, in search of Food for the Heart, Body, Soul and Mind.
28 Mar 2012
Tennis Elbow
This is my Tennis Elbow, wrapped up snugly in a Chinese Sinseh's herbal concoction.
Without exerting any energy, it already hurt. The Chinese sinseh listened to me describe how and where it hurt and he deduced that I had 'Tennis Elbow'. Yeah, right. I already guessed that with the help of Google!
I can't lift things. I can't use several of my fingers to perform ordinary day-to-day tasks like combing my hair or brushing my teeth without the pain shooting up my right forearm. The sinseh even asked if I could hardly hold up a cup.
Didn't seem like he could do much. He could only tell me that it was highly unlikely that carrying a heavy handbag had caused it but that it was more likely that it was because I had slung grocery bags from the crook of my arm (so smart, he!). I wanted to tell him YES, just only about 3 NTUC bags per arm each time I go marketing! He massaged it for a few minutes then put it under an infrared lamp. Then he wrapped it in some herbal concoction and dispensed me a couple of capsules. Did I feel better the morning after? No. I have a feeling I have to let this run its course.
Feels lousy you know. Parts of your body breaking down bit by bit. In the last few years, I've suffered pain in both my knees, my ankles and now my elbows. Did I say, I'm only in my forties? I mean, I get mistaken for being older because I have wrinkles. Plenty. I laugh alot and I was not blessed with smooth, elastic skin. I spent my youth in the sun (literally suntanning) and I don't really like to spend money or time on my skin. I have a minimal skincare routine. Face wash and sometimes, a scrub or toner. I don't like moisturiser on my face either. Anything sticky is out of question. Not to say I don't buy any but I have so many bottles I've never finished using. So anyway, what I mean to say is given all of the above, I shouldn't be complaining if someone mistakes me for being older than I am. But goodness, I didn't expect my body to start falling apart so soon.
Mike says it's just part and parcel of ageing. Every year we live is a year older so this year is one year more than last. Therefore, we should expect our body to be one year older. It cannot be the same as the year before.
Okay lah, I think a great, big fat part of it all is my being overweight. I think if I were slimmer, I wouldn't be experiencing so much pain in my joints. Sheesh. It all boils down to that. Makes me curious. In Heaven, do souls of fat earthlings, take on a slimmer shape? Or simply put, will there be fat souls in Heaven?
Without exerting any energy, it already hurt. The Chinese sinseh listened to me describe how and where it hurt and he deduced that I had 'Tennis Elbow'. Yeah, right. I already guessed that with the help of Google!
I can't lift things. I can't use several of my fingers to perform ordinary day-to-day tasks like combing my hair or brushing my teeth without the pain shooting up my right forearm. The sinseh even asked if I could hardly hold up a cup.
Didn't seem like he could do much. He could only tell me that it was highly unlikely that carrying a heavy handbag had caused it but that it was more likely that it was because I had slung grocery bags from the crook of my arm (so smart, he!). I wanted to tell him YES, just only about 3 NTUC bags per arm each time I go marketing! He massaged it for a few minutes then put it under an infrared lamp. Then he wrapped it in some herbal concoction and dispensed me a couple of capsules. Did I feel better the morning after? No. I have a feeling I have to let this run its course.
Feels lousy you know. Parts of your body breaking down bit by bit. In the last few years, I've suffered pain in both my knees, my ankles and now my elbows. Did I say, I'm only in my forties? I mean, I get mistaken for being older because I have wrinkles. Plenty. I laugh alot and I was not blessed with smooth, elastic skin. I spent my youth in the sun (literally suntanning) and I don't really like to spend money or time on my skin. I have a minimal skincare routine. Face wash and sometimes, a scrub or toner. I don't like moisturiser on my face either. Anything sticky is out of question. Not to say I don't buy any but I have so many bottles I've never finished using. So anyway, what I mean to say is given all of the above, I shouldn't be complaining if someone mistakes me for being older than I am. But goodness, I didn't expect my body to start falling apart so soon.
Mike says it's just part and parcel of ageing. Every year we live is a year older so this year is one year more than last. Therefore, we should expect our body to be one year older. It cannot be the same as the year before.
Okay lah, I think a great, big fat part of it all is my being overweight. I think if I were slimmer, I wouldn't be experiencing so much pain in my joints. Sheesh. It all boils down to that. Makes me curious. In Heaven, do souls of fat earthlings, take on a slimmer shape? Or simply put, will there be fat souls in Heaven?
26 Mar 2012
In Pain
I've been in pain since the first night we started our 7 day midnight prayer journey and Mike has been down with the flu. I've had odd dreams and last night, I couldn't really sleep well. Kept waking up with disturbed dreams and the pain in my right elbow and back ache. The pain in my elbow started on the first night of our prayer journey and has gotten worse. It's excruciating now. Like a nerve is being pressed. I can't brush my teeth, comb my hair or lift up a clothes hanger without feeling the pain shoot up my whole arm.
I didn't see a doctor about the pain because of several reasons. 3 months ago, I suffered it in my left elbow. It took 3 months but the pain has finally subsided to a level where I'm able to use the elbow more. Back then, I could hardly lift my mobile phone off the table with my left arm. I'm thinking, the doctor will probably offer either painkillers, an x-ray, a steriod jab, mri and perhaps physiotherapy. But I think back to the time I had my knee pain and all the months of seeing doctors, the mri, having physiotherapy sessions which helped not and having the docs tell me it was also a degenerative process. My knee got better over time. It still creaks and gives way some times but not like before. No strenous exercise for me anymore though.
I see this elbow pain as annoying and a disturbance to my normal day-to-day existence but not life threatening. As such, I'm pretty much going to let it heal on its own and with the help of God! I'm just gonna have to learn to use my left hand (which is still in pain but much less than my right one).
I carry really heavy handbags. I don't know why. I feel lost without my stuff. Nothing in there is very heavy but everything added together makes it so. I like to have all my cards, my discount cards, my thumbdrives, my hair ties, my lipstick (I don't even carry alot of make up as I hate touching up make up), my pens, my different set of keys, my eyebrow 'plucker', my nail clipper....hee hee....When we travel, it gets worse with all the plane and hotel reservation sheets, the passports, the camera. Even when I'm home, when my kids need a nail clipper or pen, I just dig into my bag and voila!
I don't know how my shoulder lasted as long as it did. But I think my elbows are telling me something. But if my elbows hurting is really due to carrying a heavy bag around, how does one explain the left elbow? I do not carry my handbag on my left shoulder. I only carry it on my right shoulder. I think it also has to do with the many bags of groceries I like to carry at any one time and the consequence of years and years of typing at the computer. Oh well. I'll just pray for God's healing. I believe He'll cure me.
I didn't see a doctor about the pain because of several reasons. 3 months ago, I suffered it in my left elbow. It took 3 months but the pain has finally subsided to a level where I'm able to use the elbow more. Back then, I could hardly lift my mobile phone off the table with my left arm. I'm thinking, the doctor will probably offer either painkillers, an x-ray, a steriod jab, mri and perhaps physiotherapy. But I think back to the time I had my knee pain and all the months of seeing doctors, the mri, having physiotherapy sessions which helped not and having the docs tell me it was also a degenerative process. My knee got better over time. It still creaks and gives way some times but not like before. No strenous exercise for me anymore though.
I see this elbow pain as annoying and a disturbance to my normal day-to-day existence but not life threatening. As such, I'm pretty much going to let it heal on its own and with the help of God! I'm just gonna have to learn to use my left hand (which is still in pain but much less than my right one).
I carry really heavy handbags. I don't know why. I feel lost without my stuff. Nothing in there is very heavy but everything added together makes it so. I like to have all my cards, my discount cards, my thumbdrives, my hair ties, my lipstick (I don't even carry alot of make up as I hate touching up make up), my pens, my different set of keys, my eyebrow 'plucker', my nail clipper....hee hee....When we travel, it gets worse with all the plane and hotel reservation sheets, the passports, the camera. Even when I'm home, when my kids need a nail clipper or pen, I just dig into my bag and voila!
I don't know how my shoulder lasted as long as it did. But I think my elbows are telling me something. But if my elbows hurting is really due to carrying a heavy bag around, how does one explain the left elbow? I do not carry my handbag on my left shoulder. I only carry it on my right shoulder. I think it also has to do with the many bags of groceries I like to carry at any one time and the consequence of years and years of typing at the computer. Oh well. I'll just pray for God's healing. I believe He'll cure me.
23 Mar 2012
Hell
Today's subject is a bit complicated. Bear with me.
I no longer want to use the phrase, 'Go to Hell' on anyone. Indeed, if you believe in Heaven, then you must also believe in Hell. If you believe in the wonder and beauty of Heaven, then you must also believe that the pit of eternal damnation exists for Satan and his suckers.
A visionary's description of Hell scares the crap out of me. Apparently, there are even people who preached the Word of God there. That was thought provoking for me. I mean, I heard the narrative of the burning pits, the burning people, the tormented remnants of what used to be people but all I really picked up was the fact that supposedly holy people were there too. Wow.
Does a Christian go to Hell? In my opinion, just because you claim to be a Christian, doesn't mean you won't die and wake up an find yourself in Hell. Just because you're a preacher, doesn't mean you won't end up there either.
Our Lord Jesus knows the truth about our hearts. You can run from Man but you cannot hide from the Son of Man. You cannot hide from God. What if you claim to be a man of God, spout scripture but you commit terrible sins behind everyone's back, including what you think is God's back? Would you still make it to the Pearly Gates? I doubt.
I'm not a theologian but as a layman, this is what I think. Should I believe that grace alone saves us all? No. It's a nice thought but no. I believe Jesus died so that we may live and God also gave us the will to choose or reject His Son as our Saviour AND THEN live a life as He wanted us to live as a Christian. If we claim to be Christians and yet live a life of sin, then all the more we'll be damned to Hell. I feel certain that if a human exists who knows not about Christ and lives a good life, he or she will not face the wrath of God as much as a Christian who knew Christ and yet rejected Him.
So will there be non-Christians in Heaven? Probably, but that is not to say that you, a non-Christian, who has heard and rejected Christ, will be saved just because you have lived a 'good' life. The point is while you lived on earth, you 'rejected Him'. Rejected Him. Rejected Him. Rejected Him.
So put it simply, how do we secure a place in Heaven?
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
We must believe in Jesus Christ. We must accept Him as our Saviour and then, we must turn over a new leaf and live a life pleasing to Him. There are no two ways about it. If your life is not pleasing to Him, then how are you living the way, the truth and the life of Jesus?
Believe me, when I tell you all this, I am reminding myself. It is SO DIFFICULT to be a good Christian. It is way easier to live a life of sin, is it not? It is so much easier to say, 'To heck with it! Life is short. I'm leading my life the way I want to. Even if it doesn't please God'. You are not alone. I struggle with it all the time. But prayer is a good weapon. Keep praying to keep yourself on your toes.
Satan sends his soldiers out to lead us into temptation all the time and yet so few of us have this awareness. If only we were more aware of the presence of evil, then we would be able to ward it off with the love of God. May I remind you once again that Satan does not need look like something out of a Halloween horror movie. They walk invisible, tempting us, every which way we turn. They delight in our despair, they delight in our darkness, they delight in our downfall. They despise our closeness to God. They abhor it and we are the ones they want. That alone should speak something to you about the Glory of God.
Therefore, hold on to your prayers. Talk constantly with God. Ask Him to protect you. To empower you so that you may not fall into sin. So that He may lead you out of temptation. I never knew how to do this. Growing up in Catholic schools, I learnt prayers by rote. It is a good thing for a beginner. Jesus himself taught us to say the Lord's Prayer. But as we grow, we should go beyond rote and really pray with understanding.
Before LISS, I'd never felt the compulsion to have conversations with God. I learnt that God listens. Jesus listens. Holy Spirit listens. If only we would speak from our hearts. Try it. You don't need to have fancy prayers. You don't need perfect English. Just speak as though you would a friend and tell Him your weaknesses, tell Him your needs. Ask Him to strengthen you so that you may be able to handle your trials. Ask Him for protection against the evil one. Then you yourself would have to try your best to stay on track to do what's pleasing to God. Read the Bible. Understand what your read. Practise what you understand. Listen or Sing praise and worship songs. Spend time doing wholesome activities. Live life the way He would want of you.
If we stay on this path, we cannot stray far and at the end of our journey, the awesomeness of God will let us know that it was all worth it. Hey, as I said in my previous post, dogs in Heaven. How awesome is that?
I no longer want to use the phrase, 'Go to Hell' on anyone. Indeed, if you believe in Heaven, then you must also believe in Hell. If you believe in the wonder and beauty of Heaven, then you must also believe that the pit of eternal damnation exists for Satan and his suckers.
A visionary's description of Hell scares the crap out of me. Apparently, there are even people who preached the Word of God there. That was thought provoking for me. I mean, I heard the narrative of the burning pits, the burning people, the tormented remnants of what used to be people but all I really picked up was the fact that supposedly holy people were there too. Wow.
Does a Christian go to Hell? In my opinion, just because you claim to be a Christian, doesn't mean you won't die and wake up an find yourself in Hell. Just because you're a preacher, doesn't mean you won't end up there either.
Our Lord Jesus knows the truth about our hearts. You can run from Man but you cannot hide from the Son of Man. You cannot hide from God. What if you claim to be a man of God, spout scripture but you commit terrible sins behind everyone's back, including what you think is God's back? Would you still make it to the Pearly Gates? I doubt.
I'm not a theologian but as a layman, this is what I think. Should I believe that grace alone saves us all? No. It's a nice thought but no. I believe Jesus died so that we may live and God also gave us the will to choose or reject His Son as our Saviour AND THEN live a life as He wanted us to live as a Christian. If we claim to be Christians and yet live a life of sin, then all the more we'll be damned to Hell. I feel certain that if a human exists who knows not about Christ and lives a good life, he or she will not face the wrath of God as much as a Christian who knew Christ and yet rejected Him.
So will there be non-Christians in Heaven? Probably, but that is not to say that you, a non-Christian, who has heard and rejected Christ, will be saved just because you have lived a 'good' life. The point is while you lived on earth, you 'rejected Him'. Rejected Him. Rejected Him. Rejected Him.
So put it simply, how do we secure a place in Heaven?
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
We must believe in Jesus Christ. We must accept Him as our Saviour and then, we must turn over a new leaf and live a life pleasing to Him. There are no two ways about it. If your life is not pleasing to Him, then how are you living the way, the truth and the life of Jesus?
Believe me, when I tell you all this, I am reminding myself. It is SO DIFFICULT to be a good Christian. It is way easier to live a life of sin, is it not? It is so much easier to say, 'To heck with it! Life is short. I'm leading my life the way I want to. Even if it doesn't please God'. You are not alone. I struggle with it all the time. But prayer is a good weapon. Keep praying to keep yourself on your toes.
Satan sends his soldiers out to lead us into temptation all the time and yet so few of us have this awareness. If only we were more aware of the presence of evil, then we would be able to ward it off with the love of God. May I remind you once again that Satan does not need look like something out of a Halloween horror movie. They walk invisible, tempting us, every which way we turn. They delight in our despair, they delight in our darkness, they delight in our downfall. They despise our closeness to God. They abhor it and we are the ones they want. That alone should speak something to you about the Glory of God.
Therefore, hold on to your prayers. Talk constantly with God. Ask Him to protect you. To empower you so that you may not fall into sin. So that He may lead you out of temptation. I never knew how to do this. Growing up in Catholic schools, I learnt prayers by rote. It is a good thing for a beginner. Jesus himself taught us to say the Lord's Prayer. But as we grow, we should go beyond rote and really pray with understanding.
Before LISS, I'd never felt the compulsion to have conversations with God. I learnt that God listens. Jesus listens. Holy Spirit listens. If only we would speak from our hearts. Try it. You don't need to have fancy prayers. You don't need perfect English. Just speak as though you would a friend and tell Him your weaknesses, tell Him your needs. Ask Him to strengthen you so that you may be able to handle your trials. Ask Him for protection against the evil one. Then you yourself would have to try your best to stay on track to do what's pleasing to God. Read the Bible. Understand what your read. Practise what you understand. Listen or Sing praise and worship songs. Spend time doing wholesome activities. Live life the way He would want of you.
If we stay on this path, we cannot stray far and at the end of our journey, the awesomeness of God will let us know that it was all worth it. Hey, as I said in my previous post, dogs in Heaven. How awesome is that?
22 Mar 2012
7 days of Midnight Prayers & discussion on Heaven
Praise be Jesus! We completed our 7 consecutive nights of praying at the midnight hour. We had a specific purpose but I'm keeping the details private.
Night 6 - could barely keep my eyes open for the prayers. Just.....wanted....to....sleep....zzzzzzz...but....we.....made.....it....through.
Night 7 - I thought we'd not get to do it because that afternoon, in a phone conversation with Mike, we both started to argue about....get this.....Heaven. Yes. Things must be good if we can argue about Heaven. We were discussing the testimony of a person who'd had a vision of Heaven and what she'd seen. While I am very open to people's testimonies and love to believe and be in awe of the goodness and beauty of God's wonders, Mike tends to be more conservative. He thought some part of the testimony very ridiculous whereas I thought it was beautiful! (I cannot wait to see Heaven! What? You think me thick-skinned for thinking I'll even get to go to Heaven? I don't think God thinks that of me. I think it's what He would like us to aim for.) God prepared Heaven for us and Hell for 'that' cocky enemy and his 'kaki'. I have no desire to even think of sending anyone there. I would not wish it on the worst enemy of an earthling.
I shall not go into the details. But when I heard the testimony, I was actually jumping up and down with joy because this person reinforced some points of a 'conversation' I had with the Lord when I had first received the Gift of Tongues. I could not believe that what she'd said she'd seen, had been what the Lord had told me was available in Heaven!!! Ha ha ha... I'm giddy with joy. Yes, there is no verification except the word of the person relating the story. It's not a story backed by the Catholic church. I believe she's a protestant. But I believe what she says. In my opinion, to God, there is no distinction of Catholics or Protestants in Heaven. It's the same for Hell. Anyone who thinks differently is a moron and I wish you well.
OK, back to the disagreement I had with Mike. Anyway, I was so mad at him, questioning his purpose in this 7 night prayer journey if he was such a stickler for 'sensibility'. He expects the things to be found in Heaven to be what he can imagine with his human mind. I beg to differ.
Call me gullible. I don't care. It is my opinion that with God, we must expect the supernatural. If we expect His work to be 'sensible', it is only because we can comprehend within the limitations of a human mind. God's vastness and immensity (is there even such a word?) is too great for our simple minds to understand. Therefore, we are fools to belief that Heaven cannot have such and such a thing. Unfortunately for Mike, I cannot help him in this aspect. Let's wait for his jaw to drop at the Pearly Gates (and YES! I believe without a doubt that these gates exist). I want to see the gigantic Chariot of God! I want to see the singing flowers. I want to see the record books. I want to see the bottles of tears. I hope to swim in the River of Life. I want to see and thank my Guardian Angel! I even heard from other people's testimonies that there are dogs in Heaven! Would it not be something out of an Enid Blyton story book? How exciting to spend eternity there!
Oh yes, and you know what? I pity people of today's generation who claim to HATE gold and jewels and think them ostentacious (shoot, how to spell that?) just because 'white gold' is the preferred flavour of today and they would loath to be seen in something uncool. When you get to Heaven, you'll have to live with gold and jewels for eternity. Evidently, in Eternity, there is nothing in or out of fashion. I like 'white' gold too but feel that there is no value to it whereas 'yellow' gold has appreciated by leaps and bounds. So bring on the wonderous precious gems and gold paved streets, Heaven! I welcome you with open arms. Seriously, I cannot wait to see the Glory of God. I so hunger for more. For more. For more!
So anyhow (how did I get sidetracked talking about Heaven?), I told Mike I was disappointed that this was our 7th night of prayer and he had to go ruin it with his disbelieve of such and such a thing. I hung up and went off to the loo to cool down. But I didn't get mad. I got even. I prayed that God wouldn't let anything ruin our final night of prayer and that Mike would still continue to do it with me. You know what? In 10 minutes, he called me up, telling me laughingly that someone had called him up to claim that they'd kidnapped our son and our son was apparently calling for help in Mandarin (in the background). We knew it was a hoax because MY SON WOULD NEVER CALL FOR HELP IN CHINESE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha....and because he was with Mike when Mike received that call. But we pray that no one else gets conned by these Chinese conmen! So, Mike did call me and he was laughing. I was laughing. All was well. Night 7 went well except when Mike fell asleep in the middle of a sentence. Yes. This is the glory of my husband. I just stared silently at him and as if he knew subconsciously that his wife was staring at him, his eyes suddenly popped wide open and he apologised. We did finish the prayers and fell promptly into slumber.
Already, we see a difference in our lives when we keep God close to us in prayer. This morning, when I told Mike that we'd really finished our 7 nights of midnight praying, he asked me why we should end there. He said we should continue. Praise the Lord! God never ceases to amaze me : ) !!!
Night 6 - could barely keep my eyes open for the prayers. Just.....wanted....to....sleep....zzzzzzz...but....we.....made.....it....through.
Night 7 - I thought we'd not get to do it because that afternoon, in a phone conversation with Mike, we both started to argue about....get this.....Heaven. Yes. Things must be good if we can argue about Heaven. We were discussing the testimony of a person who'd had a vision of Heaven and what she'd seen. While I am very open to people's testimonies and love to believe and be in awe of the goodness and beauty of God's wonders, Mike tends to be more conservative. He thought some part of the testimony very ridiculous whereas I thought it was beautiful! (I cannot wait to see Heaven! What? You think me thick-skinned for thinking I'll even get to go to Heaven? I don't think God thinks that of me. I think it's what He would like us to aim for.) God prepared Heaven for us and Hell for 'that' cocky enemy and his 'kaki'. I have no desire to even think of sending anyone there. I would not wish it on the worst enemy of an earthling.
I shall not go into the details. But when I heard the testimony, I was actually jumping up and down with joy because this person reinforced some points of a 'conversation' I had with the Lord when I had first received the Gift of Tongues. I could not believe that what she'd said she'd seen, had been what the Lord had told me was available in Heaven!!! Ha ha ha... I'm giddy with joy. Yes, there is no verification except the word of the person relating the story. It's not a story backed by the Catholic church. I believe she's a protestant. But I believe what she says. In my opinion, to God, there is no distinction of Catholics or Protestants in Heaven. It's the same for Hell. Anyone who thinks differently is a moron and I wish you well.
OK, back to the disagreement I had with Mike. Anyway, I was so mad at him, questioning his purpose in this 7 night prayer journey if he was such a stickler for 'sensibility'. He expects the things to be found in Heaven to be what he can imagine with his human mind. I beg to differ.
Call me gullible. I don't care. It is my opinion that with God, we must expect the supernatural. If we expect His work to be 'sensible', it is only because we can comprehend within the limitations of a human mind. God's vastness and immensity (is there even such a word?) is too great for our simple minds to understand. Therefore, we are fools to belief that Heaven cannot have such and such a thing. Unfortunately for Mike, I cannot help him in this aspect. Let's wait for his jaw to drop at the Pearly Gates (and YES! I believe without a doubt that these gates exist). I want to see the gigantic Chariot of God! I want to see the singing flowers. I want to see the record books. I want to see the bottles of tears. I hope to swim in the River of Life. I want to see and thank my Guardian Angel! I even heard from other people's testimonies that there are dogs in Heaven! Would it not be something out of an Enid Blyton story book? How exciting to spend eternity there!
Oh yes, and you know what? I pity people of today's generation who claim to HATE gold and jewels and think them ostentacious (shoot, how to spell that?) just because 'white gold' is the preferred flavour of today and they would loath to be seen in something uncool. When you get to Heaven, you'll have to live with gold and jewels for eternity. Evidently, in Eternity, there is nothing in or out of fashion. I like 'white' gold too but feel that there is no value to it whereas 'yellow' gold has appreciated by leaps and bounds. So bring on the wonderous precious gems and gold paved streets, Heaven! I welcome you with open arms. Seriously, I cannot wait to see the Glory of God. I so hunger for more. For more. For more!
So anyhow (how did I get sidetracked talking about Heaven?), I told Mike I was disappointed that this was our 7th night of prayer and he had to go ruin it with his disbelieve of such and such a thing. I hung up and went off to the loo to cool down. But I didn't get mad. I got even. I prayed that God wouldn't let anything ruin our final night of prayer and that Mike would still continue to do it with me. You know what? In 10 minutes, he called me up, telling me laughingly that someone had called him up to claim that they'd kidnapped our son and our son was apparently calling for help in Mandarin (in the background). We knew it was a hoax because MY SON WOULD NEVER CALL FOR HELP IN CHINESE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha....and because he was with Mike when Mike received that call. But we pray that no one else gets conned by these Chinese conmen! So, Mike did call me and he was laughing. I was laughing. All was well. Night 7 went well except when Mike fell asleep in the middle of a sentence. Yes. This is the glory of my husband. I just stared silently at him and as if he knew subconsciously that his wife was staring at him, his eyes suddenly popped wide open and he apologised. We did finish the prayers and fell promptly into slumber.
Already, we see a difference in our lives when we keep God close to us in prayer. This morning, when I told Mike that we'd really finished our 7 nights of midnight praying, he asked me why we should end there. He said we should continue. Praise the Lord! God never ceases to amaze me : ) !!!
20 Mar 2012
Night 5 of our weeklong prayer journey
It was like old days, rushing back from work, taking a quick shower, gobbling down dinner and getting ready to attend Monday night Charismatic Prayer Group meetings again. I praise and thank God that I really did make it for last night's meeting after an absence of 15 long months! I only had to cook veg as Mike took care of the rest. Unfortunately, Mike was coughing and snivelling quite badly last night so we decided it wasn't in the best interest of everyone else for him to attend the prayer group meeting. He actually asked me to come home and tell him which songs they sang. He especially likes this song which he refers to as, 'the song that makes your hands just want to go up', Pity he missed it. They DID in fact sing 'Jesus, we enthrone you' and the members really sang with all their heart. I could feel the presence of the Lord. Yes, lots of hands just went up! : )
It was like going home for me. All the hugs and love from my old pals. God willing, I'll be back next week. Where I'm unable to make the way, Jesus will.
Went home and found a snivelling Mike playingJewel Blitz Bejewelled Blitz. He was really, really happy that I'd managed to attend last night's meeting. I know cos he kept repeating it. Only he and He know how tough it had been for me the last year and how great a feat it is, that I am even able to attend a single meeting. I had entered the Church with a feeling of great love for our Lord. How great our God is!
Prayer Night 5 went well, considering Mike was still sick and my right elbow was throbbing. He had to interrupt the prayers several times to rush to the loo because of the phlegm. I think he was extremely sleepy too because he kept shifting about (we pray in the privacy of our room and the only place to sit is on our bed). I could see he was struggling to stay away. Every now and then I'd nudge him to ask him if he was still awake. I know, I can be the annoying wife. But hey, I've decided, not everyone can be Moses. Some lead, some follow. Not that I can even consider myself to be in the shadow of Moses but I've resigned myself to the fact that in our marriage, I am the leader, he is the follower. Not by choice. I repeat. Not by choice. I would rather follow my husband but in many, many aspects, he relies on me to lead. I've tried for years, to prod him into 'leadership' but he won't take the 'post'. He has told me countless times, he is a follower. So I've decided to change my tune of praying. Instead of praying for my husband to be more of a leader, I pray that if it is God's desire that I should be the one to lead, then to please empower me with the ability to and to please open the doors for me. Radical, I know but after 21 years of marriage, I feel it in my heart that this is the way to pray. Also, for me, Mike remains the CEO of our household. There are no two ways about it. I am just his General Manager.
But Mike said something to me last night which I think is so true. In many ways, he is my foundation. Without Mike around, I would be lost. He says that he accompanied me for LISS sessions only because he knew that if he had stopped, I would have too and he attended Charismatic Prayer Group meetings because if he had stopped, I would have lost my motivation to. So, he says, we complement each other. How true. I may come across as the one who rules the roost but in actual fact, Mike's opinion is everything to me. I have no choice but to rule the roost because no one else seems to want to! So, hey, maybe it's a God given talent! God revealed to me that this marriage hadn't been put together by us but had been put together by Him. That alone is comfort for me. There are times I feel we are siamese twins and at other times, I feel we are two wrong peas in the wrong pod. But it is still a match made in Heaven. For that, I thank and praise God.
Looking forward to Prayer night 6!
It was like going home for me. All the hugs and love from my old pals. God willing, I'll be back next week. Where I'm unable to make the way, Jesus will.
Went home and found a snivelling Mike playing
Prayer Night 5 went well, considering Mike was still sick and my right elbow was throbbing. He had to interrupt the prayers several times to rush to the loo because of the phlegm. I think he was extremely sleepy too because he kept shifting about (we pray in the privacy of our room and the only place to sit is on our bed). I could see he was struggling to stay away. Every now and then I'd nudge him to ask him if he was still awake. I know, I can be the annoying wife. But hey, I've decided, not everyone can be Moses. Some lead, some follow. Not that I can even consider myself to be in the shadow of Moses but I've resigned myself to the fact that in our marriage, I am the leader, he is the follower. Not by choice. I repeat. Not by choice. I would rather follow my husband but in many, many aspects, he relies on me to lead. I've tried for years, to prod him into 'leadership' but he won't take the 'post'. He has told me countless times, he is a follower. So I've decided to change my tune of praying. Instead of praying for my husband to be more of a leader, I pray that if it is God's desire that I should be the one to lead, then to please empower me with the ability to and to please open the doors for me. Radical, I know but after 21 years of marriage, I feel it in my heart that this is the way to pray. Also, for me, Mike remains the CEO of our household. There are no two ways about it. I am just his General Manager.
But Mike said something to me last night which I think is so true. In many ways, he is my foundation. Without Mike around, I would be lost. He says that he accompanied me for LISS sessions only because he knew that if he had stopped, I would have too and he attended Charismatic Prayer Group meetings because if he had stopped, I would have lost my motivation to. So, he says, we complement each other. How true. I may come across as the one who rules the roost but in actual fact, Mike's opinion is everything to me. I have no choice but to rule the roost because no one else seems to want to! So, hey, maybe it's a God given talent! God revealed to me that this marriage hadn't been put together by us but had been put together by Him. That alone is comfort for me. There are times I feel we are siamese twins and at other times, I feel we are two wrong peas in the wrong pod. But it is still a match made in Heaven. For that, I thank and praise God.
Looking forward to Prayer night 6!
19 Mar 2012
Completed 4 nights of our weeklong Prayer Journey!
So, we've completed 4 nights of midnight praying. We're determined to reach consecutive night 7.
What's the big deal, you may think? Some people pray every night of their lives. It wasn't easy, that much I can tell you. This is spiritual warfare we have embarked on and the enemy knows this. But my God is greater than the enemy.
"But remember the LORD your God, He himself has provided you with strength, so that He may fulfill his covenant, about which He swore to your fathers, just as the present day reveals." ~ Deuteronomy 8:18.
Here's how our journey has been so far:
Night 1 - (Thursday)
Went uneventfully. We were so charged up. So ready to commit to this week long prayer journey. We sang quite a few Praise and Worship songs. It was wonderful to hear Mike praying for us.
Night 2 - (Friday)
I woke up with a sore throat and I heard Mike coughing. I went, 'oh-oh...', took a vitamin and was determined not to fall sick. Wouldn't the enemy just love that to happen to me? That night, just before we started praying, Mike and I realised that we were both suffering bad, back aches. Very, very bad. In fact, I was aching everywhere from my head down. Mike seemed worse off than me. He said his back was actually throbbing. Mine wasn't but I felt like my bones were about to explode. The pain was from the inside. I just kept on reminding Mike that we had to persevere because this was a distraction. The enemy knew we wanted to be close to God and this was the enemy's way of distracting us. It would have been so much easier to take two panadols and just go to sleep. But we both lay down on the bed and prayed. It took a lot of effort but we were determined to not miss this session. Because we were in pain, we looked at the manual pages, at the amount of praying ahead of us and honestly, it seemed a bit long. In truth, we were glad we had made it past the second night at all. Praise God for the awareness that we should expect distractions. Because we were expecting them, we 'conquered' them, in Jesus' name!
(Addendum 20/3/2012 : I need to add that although I had woken with a sore throat on the second morning, I went through the day very much revitalised and full of energy. It was only towards evening that I started to ache all over).
Night 3 - (Saturday)
I woke up and my pain was more or less gone. My sorethroat wasn't apparent. I still felt uncomfortable but not as bad as I did on Friday night. We went out and I made sure to bring our prayer manuals along (just in case for whatever reason, we couldn't reach home on time). Call me kiasu, I don't care. I wasn't about to miss any session. I told Mike if we were to have missed coming home before the midnight hour, he'd jolly well have to park the car somewhere so we could pray in the car. Well, we did make it home on time and we managed to complete night 3. I felt very charged up tonight and Mike (who had a runny nose and a cough) fell asleep right after our prayers. I continued alone with my praying in Tongues. It was a beautiful session with the Lord.
Night 4 - (Sunday)
Mike had a full blown cold but I was okay. For some reason, my elbows which have been hurting for some days, seemed to have gotten worse but my back ache was gone. My right elbow hurt more than my left but I didn't want it to ruin my day. After Mass, we spent the day with the kids, looking for a hamster running wheel (don't even ask!). I cooked a simple dinner and we were free for a couple of hours prior to midnight. Mike was quite sick. He could hardly talk. His throat was verysoar sore. He was coughing up phlegm and kept blowing his nose till it was sore. Apart from the 'backache night', last night was the worst so far. Although I wasn't very tired, my eyes kept wanting to close. Even when I sat up! Mike was whispering his prayers because he was so sick, he could hardly mouth the words! We weren't praying in tandem. I was faster and he trailed behind. Then he'd pick up speed and I would have to catch up. I was feeling sooooooo sleepy and yet, he was dragging his feet with the words. I realised we were going to spend hours doing this at this rate. At some point, I lost my patience and told him that his prayers were so soft and asked if he was even praying or falling asleep? He said he hurt so bad that he couldn't even say out the words. Then I felt bad and realised that God would understand anyway. I really wanted to sleep. Goodness. My eyes just wanted to close. We picked really short Praise and Worship songs to start and close and I had to sing them alone as my husband's voice managed random sounds, here and there. I led the Lord's Prayer and made so many silly mistakes recalling the new words. Mike and I stopped and started a few times. Couldn't believe it. We got stuck. My mind was a blank. I hopped off the bed and grabbed a Rosary sheet with the new format of our Lord's Prayer. After our prayers, I turned around and asked Mike if he ever thought it would have been so difficult to read some prayers off a manual? I mean, who would have thought, he'd be so sick, he couldn't even read words aloud? Do not underestimate your enemy.
So, you think it's so simple to embark on this prayer journey? Not so and I'm glad I had the awareness that the enemy draws nearer as you draw closer to God. Well, 3 nights more. I'm not about to give up so I bind the enemy IN THE NAME OF JESUS and cast it at the feet of Jesus!
Tonight, we're intending to attend the Charismatic Prayer meeting. I pray that there will be no distractions to stop us from going. Pray for us. Thank you.
What's the big deal, you may think? Some people pray every night of their lives. It wasn't easy, that much I can tell you. This is spiritual warfare we have embarked on and the enemy knows this. But my God is greater than the enemy.
"But remember the LORD your God, He himself has provided you with strength, so that He may fulfill his covenant, about which He swore to your fathers, just as the present day reveals." ~ Deuteronomy 8:18.
Here's how our journey has been so far:
Night 1 - (Thursday)
Went uneventfully. We were so charged up. So ready to commit to this week long prayer journey. We sang quite a few Praise and Worship songs. It was wonderful to hear Mike praying for us.
Night 2 - (Friday)
I woke up with a sore throat and I heard Mike coughing. I went, 'oh-oh...', took a vitamin and was determined not to fall sick. Wouldn't the enemy just love that to happen to me? That night, just before we started praying, Mike and I realised that we were both suffering bad, back aches. Very, very bad. In fact, I was aching everywhere from my head down. Mike seemed worse off than me. He said his back was actually throbbing. Mine wasn't but I felt like my bones were about to explode. The pain was from the inside. I just kept on reminding Mike that we had to persevere because this was a distraction. The enemy knew we wanted to be close to God and this was the enemy's way of distracting us. It would have been so much easier to take two panadols and just go to sleep. But we both lay down on the bed and prayed. It took a lot of effort but we were determined to not miss this session. Because we were in pain, we looked at the manual pages, at the amount of praying ahead of us and honestly, it seemed a bit long. In truth, we were glad we had made it past the second night at all. Praise God for the awareness that we should expect distractions. Because we were expecting them, we 'conquered' them, in Jesus' name!
(Addendum 20/3/2012 : I need to add that although I had woken with a sore throat on the second morning, I went through the day very much revitalised and full of energy. It was only towards evening that I started to ache all over).
Night 3 - (Saturday)
I woke up and my pain was more or less gone. My sorethroat wasn't apparent. I still felt uncomfortable but not as bad as I did on Friday night. We went out and I made sure to bring our prayer manuals along (just in case for whatever reason, we couldn't reach home on time). Call me kiasu, I don't care. I wasn't about to miss any session. I told Mike if we were to have missed coming home before the midnight hour, he'd jolly well have to park the car somewhere so we could pray in the car. Well, we did make it home on time and we managed to complete night 3. I felt very charged up tonight and Mike (who had a runny nose and a cough) fell asleep right after our prayers. I continued alone with my praying in Tongues. It was a beautiful session with the Lord.
Night 4 - (Sunday)
Mike had a full blown cold but I was okay. For some reason, my elbows which have been hurting for some days, seemed to have gotten worse but my back ache was gone. My right elbow hurt more than my left but I didn't want it to ruin my day. After Mass, we spent the day with the kids, looking for a hamster running wheel (don't even ask!). I cooked a simple dinner and we were free for a couple of hours prior to midnight. Mike was quite sick. He could hardly talk. His throat was very
So, you think it's so simple to embark on this prayer journey? Not so and I'm glad I had the awareness that the enemy draws nearer as you draw closer to God. Well, 3 nights more. I'm not about to give up so I bind the enemy IN THE NAME OF JESUS and cast it at the feet of Jesus!
Tonight, we're intending to attend the Charismatic Prayer meeting. I pray that there will be no distractions to stop us from going. Pray for us. Thank you.
16 Mar 2012
Who is the Captain of your ship?
Mike and I are embarking on a 7 day prayer programme. I don't like to call it a 'programme'. It's more a spiritual journey. But spiritual journey invokes thoughts of cool, running waters amidst a nice lush, green setting with pleasant musak playing (elevator music).
This one on the other hand, is what I feel more 'warfare' of sorts. We are declaring war against the enemy. We want to eradicate the bad and infuse the good into our lives. We've literally thrown out some rubbish and we're determined to make changes in our lives. We've too many distractions. Walked the wrong trails. Reached dead ends. There is no one else who can throw you a lifeline except for God. Take it. Accept it and embrace it wholeheartedly. He is such a wonderful God. We want to please God.
When we enter into this, we must expect the 'enemy' to be 'prowling'. There will be distractions which will try to throw us off track. Therefore, if you are of the same faith as me, I implore you to please send a prayer to God to protect and guide Fiona and Mike as they embark on this week long prayer journey. It is important to us and we really want to be able to complete it. Thanks so much.
You know how someone who's about to commit a crime may know full well that it is wrong and yet go ahead with it? Well, in the same way, most of the time, we are fully aware that God needs to be the Captain of our ship and yet, we try to steer the vessel to go our way. It's not going to be easy but we're determined to let God steer.
Because of my work schedule, I decided that to embark on a midnight prayer programme would suit me best. Mike agreed. Last night was the first night. So how did it go? I can only say it was so enriching. Wonderfully uplifting. On my way home from work last night whilst driving, I could feel my praying in tongues take a different tone. It was definitely different. I could feel my heart bursting with joy that I was going on this journey with God. I kept praying that all would be well and we would really be able to start last night. Well, we did and at the end of the session, I was surprised that it had taken us 2 and a half hours. We fell asleep exhausted. Woke up this morning feeling more refreshed than I have ever been for a very long time.
I'm not trying to show off to you. If you've been following my blog the last couple of years, you would have realised that I am on a journey to betterment with God and this is just one of the ways for me to do it. If I can write about it and someone else can read and learn something, then why keep it to myself? I'm not standing in a corner beating my breasts, boasting that I am praying and fasting. I am telling you so that you too should search inside for fulfilment in God. It's God or nothing. There is no compromise. I thought there was but there isn't.
God is the Captain of my ship and He won't let me sink. Who is the Captain of your ship?
This one on the other hand, is what I feel more 'warfare' of sorts. We are declaring war against the enemy. We want to eradicate the bad and infuse the good into our lives. We've literally thrown out some rubbish and we're determined to make changes in our lives. We've too many distractions. Walked the wrong trails. Reached dead ends. There is no one else who can throw you a lifeline except for God. Take it. Accept it and embrace it wholeheartedly. He is such a wonderful God. We want to please God.
When we enter into this, we must expect the 'enemy' to be 'prowling'. There will be distractions which will try to throw us off track. Therefore, if you are of the same faith as me, I implore you to please send a prayer to God to protect and guide Fiona and Mike as they embark on this week long prayer journey. It is important to us and we really want to be able to complete it. Thanks so much.
You know how someone who's about to commit a crime may know full well that it is wrong and yet go ahead with it? Well, in the same way, most of the time, we are fully aware that God needs to be the Captain of our ship and yet, we try to steer the vessel to go our way. It's not going to be easy but we're determined to let God steer.
Because of my work schedule, I decided that to embark on a midnight prayer programme would suit me best. Mike agreed. Last night was the first night. So how did it go? I can only say it was so enriching. Wonderfully uplifting. On my way home from work last night whilst driving, I could feel my praying in tongues take a different tone. It was definitely different. I could feel my heart bursting with joy that I was going on this journey with God. I kept praying that all would be well and we would really be able to start last night. Well, we did and at the end of the session, I was surprised that it had taken us 2 and a half hours. We fell asleep exhausted. Woke up this morning feeling more refreshed than I have ever been for a very long time.
I'm not trying to show off to you. If you've been following my blog the last couple of years, you would have realised that I am on a journey to betterment with God and this is just one of the ways for me to do it. If I can write about it and someone else can read and learn something, then why keep it to myself? I'm not standing in a corner beating my breasts, boasting that I am praying and fasting. I am telling you so that you too should search inside for fulfilment in God. It's God or nothing. There is no compromise. I thought there was but there isn't.
God is the Captain of my ship and He won't let me sink. Who is the Captain of your ship?
7 Mar 2012
NOTIFICATION --> NO LONGER ACCEPTING ORDERS FOR HAND PAINTED SHOES
WITH EFFECT FROM 7 MARCH 2012 UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE - CARTOON LAGOON WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING ANYMORE HAND PAINTED SHOE ORDERS.
A few posts ago, I had written a post called "A New Beginning?"
http://cartoonlagoon.blogspot.com/2012/01/start-of-new-beginning.html
Some of you may have been confused how writing about having my hand painted shoes copied was a 'new beginning'. But I've been thinking for some time now and I've decided to stop painting shoes. Just to learn that someone was so bold as to copy my photographs, modify them with photoshop and then pass them off as their own, was a trigger that I needed. I've had enough.
My life has been going through changes the past few years and the Life in the Spirit Seminar has changed me forever. I want to please God. It's not easy. I'm very much a human and cliche as it may be, to err is human. But the call and pull of God is strong. I'm looking forward to more time spent with God, just He and I. Not Ministry where there can be too many people, too many mouths, too much gossip, too many bruised egoes. I just want more time for heart to heart talk with my God. A very loving God who has stood by me through thick and thin. I want to be able to infuse Christianity into my life. Out goes the cussing. Whoo hoo. Out goes all the bad habits. Out goes the bad rubbish. It's going to be an uphill climb but hey, we've got to do what we've got to do.
I'm not saying that God doesn't want me to continue painting shoes. I still love painting but perhaps not on shoes anymore. I definitely will still be painting. It's in my blood. Perhaps I will still post random pics of existing stock for sale. I don't know. But I will not be accepting anymore hand painted shoe orders. I want to explore other options. I want to have the time to do other things and sometimes, having to fulfill the shoe orders can limit my schedule.
I've also got a lot of baggage in my life which needs to be thrown out and I'm on a mission to do so.
I want to THANK ALL MY LOYAL CUSTOMERS for their support and patronage over the years. I may be back again. I may not be back. I guess I will still be blogging because I enjoy writing and sharing.
To those vultures waiting to steal my designs (you're probably thinking, woohoo, now that Cartoon Lagoon isn't accepting anymore shoe orders, we can use their designs), think again. My God is great and He loves me. You'd better be afraid. Be very afraid.
A few posts ago, I had written a post called "A New Beginning?"
http://cartoonlagoon.blogspot.com/2012/01/start-of-new-beginning.html
Some of you may have been confused how writing about having my hand painted shoes copied was a 'new beginning'. But I've been thinking for some time now and I've decided to stop painting shoes. Just to learn that someone was so bold as to copy my photographs, modify them with photoshop and then pass them off as their own, was a trigger that I needed. I've had enough.
My life has been going through changes the past few years and the Life in the Spirit Seminar has changed me forever. I want to please God. It's not easy. I'm very much a human and cliche as it may be, to err is human. But the call and pull of God is strong. I'm looking forward to more time spent with God, just He and I. Not Ministry where there can be too many people, too many mouths, too much gossip, too many bruised egoes. I just want more time for heart to heart talk with my God. A very loving God who has stood by me through thick and thin. I want to be able to infuse Christianity into my life. Out goes the cussing. Whoo hoo. Out goes all the bad habits. Out goes the bad rubbish. It's going to be an uphill climb but hey, we've got to do what we've got to do.
I'm not saying that God doesn't want me to continue painting shoes. I still love painting but perhaps not on shoes anymore. I definitely will still be painting. It's in my blood. Perhaps I will still post random pics of existing stock for sale. I don't know. But I will not be accepting anymore hand painted shoe orders. I want to explore other options. I want to have the time to do other things and sometimes, having to fulfill the shoe orders can limit my schedule.
I've also got a lot of baggage in my life which needs to be thrown out and I'm on a mission to do so.
I want to THANK ALL MY LOYAL CUSTOMERS for their support and patronage over the years. I may be back again. I may not be back. I guess I will still be blogging because I enjoy writing and sharing.
To those vultures waiting to steal my designs (you're probably thinking, woohoo, now that Cartoon Lagoon isn't accepting anymore shoe orders, we can use their designs), think again. My God is great and He loves me. You'd better be afraid. Be very afraid.
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