Short Road Trip Up North

Just returned from a short road trip to Malaysia. As the kids had activities waiting back home, we spent fewer days there than I would have liked. But I was glad for whatever little time we had together as a family. It gets harder to go away together as the kids grow older. They're so busy with their own activities and all important appointments with friends! Also, we can't really spend too much time away from home. I was told that our dog waited by the main door mat every day that we were away. How do you tell a dog a date that his or her owner is returning on? They just wait in hope. Thinking about this brings a lump to my throat.

I'm not going to detail what we did. But we did have a blast at Sunway Lagoon in Kuala Lumpur. The theme park has been around for a long time but we've never had the time nor inclination to visit it.

Sunway Lagoon, Kuala Lumpur

We went there expecting to be able to buy tickets for only one or two of their several 'parks' however, the ticketing booth informed us that that option was no longer available and we had to pay a standard price for 'all parks' instead. Realised that Malaysians paid a cheaper price. That's make a whole lot more heart sense than what I can say about some Singapore tourist attractions!

Anyhow, we skipped the water park and decided to explore the rides instead. I don't know if it was because I was lugging a silly big bag (as usual, the Mummy is the one carrying all the passports, hotel check in documents, local and foreign currencies, camera, water bottle) or if it was because I didn't feel like getting dizzy or whiplash but I declined riding any of the crazy rides.

Mike was different.

360 degree swinging Viking!!! Yikes!!!

A picture paints a thousand words. Need I say more? Mike was the only one amongst us 4 who was on the 360 degree swinging Viking! Even the kids politely declined. We stood below sucking on our lime green popsicles instead, watching in awe at how brave (or crazy) Daddy was.

Thereafter, we spent some time at their Wildlife Park (it's tiny) and not really a park but a walk-in enclosure with caged up animals. Rode several other rides.

This River raft thingy ride -- I didn't bother to find out the name of this ride but it was soooooo awesome and soooooo much more fun than the one at Universal Studios Singapore (which was sooooo boring). We got off and wanted to ride it again but it 'broke' right after we got off. The kids declared triumphantly that 'it was Mum who broke the ride'! Gee, thanks. Despite it being a water ride, we managed to stay relatively dry.

We ended the day getting SOAKED because we tried out this 4D simulator. You get into a room and the it's a simulated ride where the chairs move too and you actually get wet when you're in or on water. Anyway, it was really fun. Pretty cold thereafter when we emerged from the air-conditioned room all soaked. We walked past the kids water park with all the slides and fountains and I thought that would have been really fun (except that we were rushing to leave by 6pm). We had on these hand tags and if we were to get our RM10 per person deposit back, we had to return them by a certain time.

All in all, it was a pretty fun time we had. Was it value for money. I don't know. Several of the rides are closed, some were cordoned off. A gigantic slide was being built. As with all Malaysian theme parks, they build it nice but don't care to maintain. It is, as it was. The park is huge so get ready to walk and climb. Good family fun. Not sure if we'll ever go back though.

Anyhow, we spent the rest of the trip eating, shopping, shopping, eating. He he.

Meanwhile, back to the grind and also back to Christmas preparations. Here's wishing all my Catholic and Christian friends, a very Blessed and Merry Christmas and remember, Jesus is the reason for the season!



PCOS (not) Update Dec 2012

Spent 6 hours at the hospital for my invasive scan and PCOS review. The doc gave me an all clear. My womb, my ovaries are looking good. (Thank you, God for this!) Based on the lack of symptoms and my now 'quite' regular cycles without medication, I have been declared by the doc as 'No longer having PCOS'. Was this ever possible? Can a person ever be cured of PCOS? Well, evidently all the while I thought I could not, I could get cured. I truly believe it's all because of the healing hands of Jesus. I took NO MEDICATION. I prayed. Alleluia! I'm jumping for joy! Thank you, Jesus for always watching out for me! I've to go back to in 6 months' time and if I'm still 'all clear', then I'll be discharged. Yes!

And here's Mike and I, legs wobbly and heads spinning after riding the Cylon Roller Coaster (Battlestar Galactica) at Universal Studios Singapore. We'd all 4 sat the Human at the start of our trip there. A fair queue but the locker area was more jammed than the ride itself. Barely survived the Human roller coaster. As we spun around, I recall yelling at my daughter and declaring that 'we're on the WRONG one! Are we sitting in the WRONG one???'. Yes, while on the Human, I'd felt it was so crazy that I was so sure we were on the Cylon. He he. Survived it anyway.

Then at the end of the trip, after we'd circled the park maybe twice (only riding the MUST rides, that is), my very brave and crazy husband says he's going on the Cylon. He asks me to join him. I politely decline. He throws me his bag and tells me to watch it. The kids are not going either because the girl's got a stuffy nose & headache (came down with the flu BAD) and her brother decides to sit it out with her. Then both kids sort of force me to 'join Dad'. I refuse but they are relentless. By the time I decide to, I've lost sight of the man. I run in but am delayed by 3 adult foreigners, poking and tickling each other. 1 male Filipino and 2 ladies. Yes, adults. I'm impatient to meet Mike and am worried that he'll get on the ride before me, which would mean I would ride the Cylon by myself. Wah piang oi.

The ONLY 3 ADULT people ahead of me are still playing. The male decides to hide and scare the 2 females as we climb some steps. I couldn't believe it when he jumped out and scared the sh*t out of his female companions. The ladies scream and then they realise I've stopped behind them very annoyed. They laugh and apologise and I very, very 'fed-up-ly', overtake them. I run the rest of the way. My heart skips a beat when I spot Mike already being lined up for the ride. I can't get to him. I tell the staff to call out to him. She ignores me. I yell his name. He hears nothing. I yell and yell. He finally hears me and phew, gets out of the queue to join me again.

We get into the queue again and he wants to take the front seats. NO WAY, I SAY!!! We let 2 young girls take it instead. They look to be about 13! They tell us it's their 3rd time riding this. I feel my legs giving way. I just get onboard, buckle up and wait to see if a malfunction will cause the electronic seatbelts to give way and throw me into the air, hitting structure, breaking my bones into a million pieces before they break into a gazillion pieces when I hit the ground. There, I've spelt out my fear. I'm NOT afraid of the loops a roller coaster makes. I'm usually scared of heights but I'm not even scared of the height a coaster takes me. Nah. I'm scared the seat belt malfunctions. But I've sat many loops in my time. Each and every time, I worry about the same thing. Can they not have bloody manual seat belts AS WELL??? If the MRT can stall, so can this piece of spinning, flying machine!

All the time we were on the Cylon, Mike was laughing and going Woo-hoo!!! Waving his arms and legs. He told me later that he was trying to spot the kids too. Me.....my daughter guessed it right. She said, 'Mum, I bet you were praying in tongues throughout.' Ha ha ha.....no kidding. How did she know that? Am I so predictable? The candid pic of us taken by USS at the photoshop? No thanks. Looked terrible, like a pumpkin, holding on for dear life.

We get off and I can barely stand. Those 2 young girls at the front seat? They tell me they're going to try the Human now. What? Cylon first then Human? I laugh and tell them, 'That's nothing compared to this!'

Anyway, it was a really nice day. I just wanted to add this. Don't take this so seriously and keep your criticism if any to yourselves. The weatherman had predicted showers. The sky was dark grey when we headed for USS. In the car, I asked the Lord to please, please, bless us with sunshine because we'd waited so long to go to USS. The kids teased me and said I was selfish cos maybe other people needed rain. I said 'yah, but please Lord, if for some reason you need to send rain to Singapore, then please, please, just not the area around USS? Please just let us have a nice day here? Please and thank you'.

I'm not saying it didn't rain because of my prayers but believe you me, when we were leaving USS that everning, we heard a clap of thunder that was so loud and scary. I literally jumped. We'd just had dinner at the diner's, Mel's and were standing in a souvenir shop. Then as we drove off from the Resorts World Sentosa carpark, it started to pour. I mean POUR. Whatever the kids wanted to make of it. Make fun of me. I don't care. Thank you, Lord for the great weather that day! Nothing is impossible with the Lord! You can believe it's coincidence. I'll believe it's the work of the Lord.

Note: The Transformers ride was my favourite. I enjoyed the Mummy ride too (whachamicallit). Don't give Shrek's 3D movie a miss. It's actually quite entertaining.

Hit Counter

My hit counter hung again and as usual, I find free hit counters extremely unreliable. So I give up. I'm using Google's and as a result, have lost a couple of thousand hits. Oh well. Whatever. Just too tired to keep having to check if the hit counter's working or not.

Disposable Plates & God's Perfect Timing

There's something about Mike and I that you should know. We can't let a good bargain pass us by. Sometimes even when we don't need the stuff, we buy it because well, it's a good bargain. In THAT aspect, we're really trying to stop. It's a bad habit and spending of unnecessary money.

Well, found a bargain Mike did. He'd bought a gigantic plastic bag of disposable plates recently for what he thought was a good bargain. He bought them, intending to donate them for everyone's use on Charismatic Meeting nights (we usually have fellowship / makan after our meetings).

The humble disposable plate

He was so excited to show me his newly bought stash in the car. I didn't think much about it, except to tell him I thought they were bigger than what we usually use and to ask him if he was sure they needed plates because it would be very troublesome if they didn't cos I think someone was usually in charge of lugging the plates back and forth (home to church and vice versa) every week. Oh how negative a wife I can be! I couldn't just pat him on his back and praise him for buying disposable plates! LOL.

Then last Monday, I was down with the flu and Mike had to go for Charis meeting without me (hah! That took some pushing but he did! I'm so proud of him). He told me that before the meeting started, he was talking to someone when he realised he had forgotten to take the plates out from the car. It seems, they were glad the Lord had answered their prayers and were happy to see his plates because that very night.....they had run out of plates.

You may think this isn't a big deal but I've never known them to run out of plates! We always have plates! I thought it was just amazing how the Lord used Mike to provide even without him knowing it. You can call it pure coincidence, I call it God's perfect timing!

Calm amidst the storm

Was I kidding when I said in a previous post that my daughter's room is looking like a tornado had swept through it?

Can you even spot my Silky Terrier - the calm amidst the storm of school notes? She's a funny dog. Hardly ever hear her barking. The only time she barks is when a stranger is at the door (or when she meets a dog she dislikes!). Actually, quite a good guard dog come to think of it. She won't even bark when she desperately wants to go for her pee or poo walk. At most, she'll give me a nudge or paw at me. Anyway, not talking about my dog here. Hehe. But so cute, just had to post this.

Sparkles loves Tessa the most. In case you don't already know, my daughter isn't called Sparkles and my dog isn't called Tessa. Haha. Here she is in the room of her favourite human, not the least bothered by the mess created by Tess!

Do I care about the mess? Nah. It's 2 weeks from the start of her GCE 'A' Levels (yes, by she, I mean the human). Orderliness is the last thing on our minds. I don't care how you do it, as long as you are doing it (studying that is). Also, although the ultimate aim of anyone taking their 'A' Levels is to make it into a University, both hubby and I aren't losing sleep over it. The Lord takes care of us as long as we trust in Him so we're just lifting this up to Him. If she makes it, she makes it. If she doesn't, it won't be the end of the world and life will still go on. I know most parents are so hung up on how their kids fare in school. To each his own. I think Mike and I have quite a 'relaxed' view of this and so far, our kids have not let us down. Of course I want them to pass their exams but I'm no dragon parent and I'm not going to turn into one. Of course I pray she'll get into Uni but I KNOW for a fact that my daughter's been trying to cope with life in Junior College and I observe that she's often very exhausted. She's put in a whole lot more effort than I ever did in JC I should add so I think, University or not, she'll turn out OK. We just want our kids to put in their best effort, the rest, we leave it up to the Lord. We'll cross the bridge when we come to it, anyway. Meanwhile, we just soak in the mess as a family and enjoy each other's presence!

Positive Praying

 Hehehe...if you've been reading my blog the past few week, you would have wondered why I've been changing my blog background. I've changed it again today. It's just that I haven't found one to my liking. Too colourful, too loud, too plain, too dull, too boring....heehee

My life can be like my blog background. I keep changing aspects of it to try to attain the happiness level that would satisfy me most. However, I have come to realise that I only need to do ONE thing and that is to work on my relationship with God. With the joy and peace attained whilst walking with the Father, the son Jesus and the Holy Spirit, everything else will follow.



 Photo credit belongs to original photographer. I only added in the Bible Verse.

Feel free to use this pic but please link back to www.cartoonlagoon.com.sg

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness;
And all these things shall be added unto you." ~ Matthew 6:33

It's like my prayer life. I used to pray for this, for that. To be this, to be that. To have this, to have that. To not be like this, to not be like that. To be here, to be there.

Now, when I pray, I just tell God that I do not know how to handle the situation and to please take over.
Common on my lips now are the phrases, "Lord, I don't know what to do so I lift this up to you. You know my desires. Please take over and I trust that you will do what's best for me."

For an urgent and short prayer, I will say, "Holy Spirit, please come and just overwhelm the situation".

It's been the hardest thing for me to grasp and yet, it is now, the easiest thing for me to do. I have become somewhat lazy because I no longer need to crack my head on how to solve the 'issue' in a humanly manner, with human limitations. There are no limits to how God can solve the 'issue' for me. I just need to focus and carry on walking with Him and wait in patience upon the Lord. In His time, in His own way, He will give me the perfect solution. Not necessarily what I may think is perfect but definitely what He thinks is best for me. Meanwhile, just walking with Him lifts me up like no other.

I leave you with this which I think describes prayer aptly:

"Positive praying is much more powerful than positive thinking. People may resist our help, spurn our appeals and reject our suggestions but they are powerless against prayers." ~ Rick Warren

Raising hands during praise and worship

At my first ever session of the Life in the Spirit Seminar in mid 2009, I'd felt extremely uncomfortable that the people there were raising their hands while they sang during Praise and Worship. I'd also sort of squirmed whenever they broke out in tongues. My arms were crossed firmly across my chest and I thought it was unnecessary whatsoever to speak or pray in tongues or whatever it was that 'those people' were doing.

Fast forward to 2012. It's been what? Barely 3 and a half years. Today, my husband says he can tell that I am so moved by the Spirit sometimes during Praise and Worship. Yes, it's true. During Praise and Worship sessions, when I am moved by the Spirit, my only focus is to glorify God. If you don't want to raise your arms, then don't but most of the time, I will. Are you staring at me, wondering if I'm really immersed in worshipping God or if I am showing off? Do I look like I am making a fool of myself? For God, I think making a fool of myself would be worth it. Whatever you wish to think of me, then. I am not concerned. I used to wonder those questions myself too, so you are not alone. I am only concerned that my God knows me and my heart. Sometimes, it's because when I raise my hands, I am opening myself more and more to a connection with God. Other times, it's to show Him how much I respect and love Him.

Let me say here and now that I don't do this during Mass itself. There must still be reverance to how Mass is carried out. No compromise.

Though Mike and I went through the same LISS in 2009, he and I are two very different people who have responded in different ways. We have both been touched by the Holy Spirit. Yes but differently. As a wife, I wish we could be on the same wavelength but I've come to accept that it's alright really, we're two separate individuals who have become one in marriage but we will still react in different ways even in the same situation.

Mike is more reserved when it comes to expressing himself during Praise and Worship. He does raise his hands or arms albeit rarely. However, you really should hear him sing hymns or recite prayers during Sunday Mass! His voice thunders above all the other pews around us! He is not shy, that I can tell you. However, this bravado dissipates as soon as he leaves church and he turns into a reserved mouse again. Hee hee. Only God will know his heart. Am sure there are people sitting around us who wonder why this guy dares to sing or pray so loud. He is willing to make a fool of himself for God and that is great!

No one should judge AT ALL another person's way of journeying with God and if all of the above mentioned is not your cup of tea (and I must admit, it will never be to everyone's liking) and you still have a good personal relationship with God, by all means, carry on doing it your way. But my advice to you is, to find a way to be touched by the Holy Spirit because when you do and you finally feel you're not afraid to show those around you that you love God, you will finally feel free. I cannot explain to you what or how that feels. If and when you feel it one day, you will understand what I mean.

Gifts of Rosary and Pouch

I just had to show you this:

Matching Rosary and Pouch

Little things I feel the Lord blesses me with. Someone had given me a small pouch last Christmas and when she had given it to me, she'd said she thought it would be ideal for me to keep my rosary in. I kept the pouch in storage for months. Then last week, someone else gifted me with a handmade rosary. When I saw the flowers on it, I just had to dig out the pouch. Don't they match? Wonderful!

The very next day, I had it blessed by Fr. William Goh at the Catholic Spirituality Centre when Mike and I went there for his talk on Resting in the Spirit.

Date with hubby

Have sort of a date with hubby tonight! After work, we're grabbing a quick bite then hopping over to Catholic Spirituality Centre for the first part of a series of talks on Resting in the Spirit. A bit of a rush but I think it'll be worth it. We've always wanted to attend the talks but could never find the time to. This time, we're attempting to make the time.

Photo credit to original photographer.  I only included the Catholic Bible quote.

Feel free to use this pic but kindly include a link to www.cartoonlagoon.com.sg

I thought it'd be great to attend this particular talk since Mike and I have differing views on this subject. So looking forward to spending fruitful time with hubby. We agreed that date nights could be more meaningfully spent so we're trying this out. Praying that nothing will suddenly pop up that will deter us from going.


Too bad the kids won't be joining us. One is busy studying for her upcoming 'A' Level exams (her room looks like a tornado has hit it with all her notes strewn all over) and the other is down with a bad bout of flu (thank goodness his exams are just over). Oh well, if they did come along, then it wouldn't really be a date, would it?

Turning my back

I do joyously declare, I am turning my back on many things which I used to cling to......

I've been trying to be conscious of my spending habits. Less is more nowadays. I stop or restrain myself from buying things I don't need. I look around my house and I KNOW that since I've started working, I've spent a small fortune accumulating and owning some stuff I don't need or stuff I've not used. If I'd really just bought the barest of necessities, I might even have become a millionaire by now. Of course, I wouldn't have enjoyed the momentary happiness those stuff brought, lah. Hmmmph. This realisation comes a tad too late (after having wasted all that moolah). Nowadays, I chase 'the joy of the Lord' and not 'the happiness of earthly things'.

Not to say I will never buy any of the following stuff. Just saying I'm more restrained now.

Makeup. I've stopped buying make up which I don't need. I remind myself that I've got a whole bag full of unused or barely touched makeup and it would be such a waste to have to junk them because of expiring shelf lives. So I'm only buying what I need now; like replacing a finished lipstick. Truth is for everyday use, I actually use very little makeup; only 2 items; foundation and lipstick. If I use mascara, I worry about them streaking (even waterproof ones). With the exception of lipstick, I don't  like to have to touch up my makeup. If I use rouge, I worry about looking very 'wayang' (Chinese Opera) like. I have unused fake eyelashes but really, I prefer to be taken seriously at work and I don't want to come across as being so vain (or misconstrued as being bimbotic) so no fake eyelashes or coloured contact lenses on workdays and on the weekends, I don't really find anywhere to go that call for their use.

I find that with age, the more makeup the more make up she one uses, the worse she'll look. Nowadays, I survive on my foundation and lipstick only. I don't even use powder anymore. My dry skin can't tolerate it. Some days, I even forego my foundation and I feel so freeee.....but I still use it to look presentable on blotchy skin days. I don't have freckles but I do have uneven skin tone and of course, the lovely remnant pock marks of teenage pimple and chicken pox days to cover. I'm slowly aiming to just use moisturiser and lipstick. I'm a person who dislikes 'taking care' of my face so I have always disliked using moisturiser. I have bottles and tubs of unused ones. However, time stands still for no one and my collagen is depleting. Dry skin calls for moisturiser. Yucks but I really have no choice. I wish to have good, natural sunkissed skin. A nice tan with glowing skin SANS makeup. Haha. One is allowed to dream!

Clothes. I've not bought any new outfits because each time I want to, I remind myself of my wardrobe looking on the verge of exploding and the very many unused outfits which are squashed within. Besides, I'm a T-shirt and jeans person when I'm out of office workwear. When I'm at work, I'm conservative in my no-brainer black skirts (I'd rather err on the side of caution then to be overdressed). All I have to do is throw on a blouse. Everything matches black, right? If many working men can survive solely on black pants, why can't I survive on black skirts? LOL.

Grocery shopping! I love grocery shopping. I used to love buying a variety of spices and sauces. Looks interesting, buy, buy, buy. Now, I just look, think, look and think. I'll stand and think really hard if I still have any of the same sauce at home or if I'll be using it often enough to warrant buying it. But I'd rather spend on groceries than wasteful things for myself. Besides, my kitchen cabinets are bursting with bottles of sauces and condiments already.

Shoes -- sigh. Well, the good thing is I can always design and paint my own canvas shoes. As for heels, I've got tonnes of unworn shoes. Not a good thing as shoes fall apart when you keep them in storage and don't use them often enough. As I may have mentioned it, I am recovering from fractured toes and I had to wear japanese-like open toe slippers the past few months. I've just started being able to wear proper shoes and heels without feeling so much pain. But when I pulled out my 'new' unused heels from the shoe cabinet, 2 pairs fell apart as soon as I stepped out the door. Sigh. Enough of shoes for me until I wear the current ones out.

Books. What can I say? I've still got shelves of unread books. Need I say more?

Bags. Ditto. Plenty to last a lifetime. I'm trying to get rid of some good brand bags. Thinking about posting pics of them to sell. But thinking hard if this is the way to go.

Stationery. Aiyoh. I love pretty and cute stationery. My kids know that I keep cupboards filled with stationery in the masterbedroom. Yes, the masterbedroom which is supposed to be calm, peaceful and romantic is the go-to place for the kids when they need paints, brushes, canvases, paper, cardboard, staplers, staples, sticky tape....OK OK, stock is depleting now that my kids who are 18 and 15, don't really have formal art classes in school anymore. I can't resist cute paper and stickers. Aaarrrgh!!! Keep them away from me!!! I try but I don't think stationery is something I can give up. If I do, it'd mean my painting stuff as well. Well, I'm not perfect, what!

Household appliances. No longer purchase unless something breaksdown.

Household decorative stuff. The odd thing here and there but Mike and I are very restrained nowadays. in fact, we're trying to get rid of existing purchases. He's been giving to thrift stores the past few weeks and yet we've still got so many things in the flat.

Well, less is definitely more nowadays. We remind ourselves that we CANNOT BRING ALL THIS ALONG WHEN WE DIE. This is actually the main trend of thought Mike and I have now. Why keep buying stuff when it's just ashes-to-ashes for all of us? What can we bring along except our salvation? Thus, I'm turning my back on many a thing!

Cartoon Lagoon Hand Painted Shoes

On 7 March 2012, I'd stated on my blog that I'd stop taking orders for our hand painted shoes. Since then, I've had quite a few of our customers emailing to ask if I'd still take their shoe orders. In the past month alone, I've had a few of them tell me good things about the pairs of hand painted shoes they'd bought from Cartoon Lagoon previously. I can't tell you how happy that has made me. Where I could, I have accomodated and where I still can, I will accomodate. I can't promise you a quick delivery, nor can I promise you that I will still do that particular design but you can email me and we'll see how it goes from there : )

One of the reasons I stopped painting our shoes was because I wanted the Lord to show me if I was to carry on doing this (even if it has always just been a sideline). I want His blessings on the things I do from here on and it's just this whole journey of change I'm on right now. Trying my best to pluck out the weeds and trying to bear fruit instead. I'm 100% confident that the Lord has plans for me and He knows best. Therefore, I will wait upon the Lord. Actually, Mike and myself. We are waiting upon the Lord. I should be saying 'we' lah. But I'm the only one writing this blog. He doesn't, so it's out of habit that I say 'I' when I really mean 'we' when I talk about the hand painted shoes. He's actually a much neater and meticulous painter than I am. Ssshhhh!

Lately, sometimes during or after prayer & meditation, I see art compositions in my mind. They are so clear in my head. I see them with my eyes closed. I'm not sure if I'm capable of translating what I see in my head onto a canvas. I don't think I'm talented enough! I really wish to. Well, I guess I'll pray for the Lord to help me. This is something I want to make time for. Something else to explore.

Meanwhile, my 'project' has not had any progress because I was first distracted catering to the needs of my elderly parent and then we concentrated on attending the 9 day Novena at our church. It's difficult when you work full-time and have to find time for housework as well. I've really only got the weekends for any 'hobbies' and if I have to attend a function on a Saturday or Sunday then my weekend gets 'burnt' as well. Week by week just flies by and before you know it, it'll be the end of the year and I still haven't made much progress on my project. MUST FOCUS AND CONCENTRATE!!! I will be turning down invitations more and more now. I need time for this. I really do. That's not going to go down well with people. But you've gotta do what you've gotta do....especially if God has given you an indication to do it : )

Can I hear God just like that?

Can I hear God just like that? No.

I don't know if others can but I cannot. I can talk to Him anytime but I don't hear Him just like that. It's not a given. I can't just demand He talk to me. I'm not talking about when God suddenly prompts you or nudges you with a warning etc. He can do that anytime He wants to, that's for sure. But I mean I cannot have a two-way conversation with Him just like that. I have come to the realisation that I need to reach a certain level of prayer or be in deeper connection with Him before I start to receive His flowing promptings. Sometimes, it only takes saying a simple prayer, a phrase or two or a praise song or praying in Tongues. Sometimes, it takes much more before I hear anything. But, the conditions have to be right. I cannot be distracted with things not of Him. If I am too busy or frivolous, I get nothing. If I'm too concerned about the ways of the world, if I'm rushing about or not in a right state of mind, I cannot hear Him, no matter how hard I try. However, I must add that I may be in a 'weak' state of mind, like being worried or troubled but if I centre my attention on Him, I may still hear Him.

Yesterday was perhaps a busy day for me (thank you, Lord for keeping me healthy enough to have still busy days). Busy, busy at work (with issues, issues and more issues) and when I returned home, busy with an elderly parent who was well how do you say this politely? Uncooperative and not on very good behaviour? (I might talk about that another time. Let's see how that goes). We were having a nice conversation over dinner with our kids when we were....rudely disrupted by an 'incident'.

A flurry of commotion followed. A slight chaos. I wanted to pass a multitude of comments. I wanted to admonish. Instead, I bit my tongue. My head was pounding and I was feeling confusion. I could feel my blood pressure rising. After I tried to calm myself down, I sat down on the couch (quite helplessly because there was nothing else I could do) and closed my eyes. Ordinarily, I might even ask God, WHY ME? But I just asked God to please forgive me for my sins and asked Him instead what He would have me do. 'Lord, what would you have me do? Holy Spirit, please come and just overwhelm this situation. Find me a way when I do not know the way, Lord'. Earlier, when I had been moving about, I couldn't hear any promptings from God. But now that I was seated quietly, very quickly, I heard Jesus say to me, "Peace be with you, my child, peace be with you". 

Honestly, I've heard Him say this through other people's messages but I don't recall ever hearing Him say that to me directly. He kept repeating that phrase to me. I asked Him why even though I knew why. He then encouraged me to 'wait upon the Lord for just a little longer'. He reminded me to have the 'peace of the love of Christ'. I sat there in amazement. Jesus KNEW I was so troubled. He knew I was so angry. So upset. So disappointed. So troubled. So everything unkind. Yet Jesus KNEW and loved me enough not to leave me alone. He had sent me those words to comfort me and encourage me. I also saw it as a kind warning to me that I had to try to see the love of Jesus in everyone's face. Even if it pains me so. Only Jesus knew what to say to me at that moment. He did not leave me alone. Jesus was with me. Jesus IS with me. He is fully aware of the cross I bear and He shares in my suffering. That is so wonderful and so beautiful. I told hubby later that I was becoming a cry baby because of Jesus. I feel touched when I receive communion and sometimes I choke up with tears. I want to cry when I think of the love Jesus has for me. It's just so beautiful, this love God has for us. So wonderful.

End of 9 day Novena - Blessed Virgin Mary and God's provision

I wrote in my previous post that if I come into abundant money, I'm meant to give it away. Well, I came into a pleasant surprise, a small sum of money which came in the form of a reimbursement and the very next day, I was required to pay that sum unexpectedly to someone else. Exact amount. Not a cent less, not a cent more. It is very scary when I think about it. Does God read my blog? He really hears and sees everything. Nothing escapes His eyes. Not even when you tear off those tiny carpark coupon stubs and 'accidentally' drop the stubs to the road after getting out of your car (oops). Nope. Nothing escapes Him, not even that faint swearing under your breath or in your head. Scary, right?

Well, actually, I think it's also wonderful that we have such a mighty God to watch over us. He hears my thoughts, He listens to my heart, He knows my feelings. I am in awe of His goodness and I hope I will continue to be in awe of Him for the rest of my life.

We've finished our 9 days of nightly mass (our yearly Novena) to celebrate the Feast of St Vincent de Paul. We ended the Feast Day with mass and a dinner on the 10th day at the Orchid Country Club. I've come away from this Novena with a different view of Mary and St Vincent de Paul. Let me say honestly, that I tend to give petitions to St Anthony, rather than St Vincent de Paul. Although he is the patron saint of our church, I've never felt a 'connection' to seeking his intercession. I don't know why. It was only at this Novena when the different priests mentioned that St Vincent de Paul was always rooting for the poor and needy that it hit home that I AM in the right parish! This would be a saint who understands my needs totally. That he can relate to people in need. That there are those of us poor in spirit or poor by earth's standards. I felt really 'paiseh' (bad) that I had always 'neglected' him and taken him for granted. Ok, I'm starting to sound loony, speaking about a dead person like he were alive. But go figure, I don't blame you if you're not into asking saints for intercessions. I for one, have had St Jude and St Anthony help me pray for intentions with great outcome (INCLUDING A BABY!!!) so there! I also believe in the intercessory power of our late Blessed Pope John Paul II. I do BELIEVE that God hears his intercessions and the intercessions of our saints for our prayers intentions!

See, for you people out there who wonder, why would you ask these Saints to pray for you when you can pray to God directly? Well, why ever would you ask you friend to pray for you when you can pray to God yourself? Why have prayer warriors? Why have prayer ministries? Why have cell group member prayer buddies? Because there is power in numbers, lah! Catholics do not ask these saints to work the miracles. Catholics ask these saints to intercede on their behalf to put in a good word with God to work the miracles! And why not? Yes, I can pray myself. In fact, I hear God's promptings myself. But is there any harm in asking these saints to pray for me too? I'd think if God favoured them, there might be a higher chance of God answering the prayers! 

Blessed Virgin Mary. I've come to love her much. Actually, I started out adoring her first. In 1988 or 89 (cannot quite recall), I went on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje in the then Yugoslavia. Actually, I don't know if there was already a name change back then. I think it was Bosnia. Anyhow, I adored her and felt really touched that the people there attended mass THRICE daily. Let me repeat, THRICE DAILY!!! Sometimes, to attend mass once a week is already too much for some of us to bear. But three times a day? Then as life went along, I learnt that the prayers of the Rosary were a very powerful defence against falling into doing bad things. I believe the evil one is terrified of our Blessed Virgin Mary. However, I have not been very faithful to saying the rosary regularly. By the way, might I just say, please read up on the prayers which make up the rosary before you jump to any conclusion. The rosary is a compilation of prayers to mark the different Stations of the Cross (the journey of the Life of Christ). So if you don't realise this, let me implore you to not criticise the rosary without first trying to understanding what it is.

Once about a year and half ago, I was given a prompting that there was an urgency for me to pray the rosary. The message was one of utmost urgency. I did initially but did not continue regularly. God forgive me (and Mary too) but the monotony of repetitious prayer is not very for me and I have a tendency to fall asleep when I say the rosary. Also, with all sorts of excuse like not having enough time etc, I stopped saying it. I much prefer to have open dialogue with Jesus, Father God or Mary. So I did not listen and later, I realised why I had received that warning. However, I think I was blessed because I had continued to have my two-way conversations with God and that helped me through a period tremendously. Anyway, I've come out of that dark tunnel a lot stronger and with a renewed relationship with God.

Back to the Novena. The theme for this year's Novena is Mother Mary. I had always had the impression that Mother Mary had been a really meek, young, gentle, obedient girl who wouldn't have dreamt of disobeying God. That God had chosen her because she was not a naughty girl. That she'd most likely listen to him because she wasn't the rebellious type (like me). That she was MEEK. Nothing like me. But at through this Novena, I realised what a strong personality Mother Mary must have had to go through the whole scandal of being a single pregnant girl, then later to put up with poverty and moving here and there and then the icing on the cake, to have a son who seemed to be causing nothing but trouble. If I looked at it that way, I realised WOW! Mother Mary was really something in her time! She is my ultimate idol! Here's this young girl, sounding loony by telling people she was pregnant and bearing who's kid? God's son! The amount of ridicule she must have faced. Hats off to her, I say. I stand corrected; our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary was definitely NOT MEEK. Not even close. So now we know why God chose her. She was unwavering and stood her ground because SHE KNEW that God was her provider and she would be obedient to His will. She trusted in God and she trusted in the work of Jesus. She suffered the agony of losing her son so that we might all enjoy the fruit of this sacrifice. What a woman she was. I have walked away from the Novena with a deep sense of respect for her.

Who practically insisted Jesus perform his very first miracle at the wedding of Cana of Galilee? Turning water into wine (John 2:2-11) Why Mother Mary of course. It's like any mother telling the child to do something because the mother knows better! If an angel had appeared to me and given me the same message and I had to suffer utter scandal, I think I'd not be so humble or gracious and I'd be wondering if the angel had just been a figment of my imagination. I'd be wondering why God would let me give birth to His son, God's son (!!!) in a stable with the animals and in poverty? I'd be wondering why I had to be up and running away with a baby and not just any baby but God's baby. How could this be? But no, not Mother Mary. Not only did she trust God completely for His provision, she trusted enough to know that her son was unique and would be doing special things. Then she had to watch her baby suffer a horrible death. Wow, wow and wow. I RESPECT.
Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you!

You know, I must add, before each mass during the Novena, we have some praise and worship singing and of course the Charismatics will be drawn to raise their hands or arms in worship of our Lord Jesus. Well, majority of the congregation (who aren't Charismatic) do not unless the worship leader practically asks them to. I for one do not worry what people must think of me. My husband says he can see that I am often very touched by the Holy Spirit. I tell him simply that I do not worry about what others think of me. Many of them are shy and some may wonder what the heck I am doing raising my arms but you know what? It's God I glorify. It's Jesus I love. I don't worry about them. I am moved by the Holy Spirit and I wish upon them that they too can experience what I experience. Also, if Mary can be so strong and not worry what others think of her, then should I worry about what others think about me because I love Jesus? Go ahead and think what you like of me. I am more worried about what God thinks of me.

Millionaire and more

I know, in today's context, a million dollars isn't very much. But still, I don't have a million. Not even close. I'm thinking, someone in my estate is now walking around with a million in his or her pocket. A S$1.7 millionaire in fact. That's the prize won last night by the sole winning Toto lottery ticket bought from an outlet near our home. Yes, it could have been someone not from this estate who had bought that Ordinary Quick Pick lottery ticket for 50 cents. It could have been a foreign domestic worker. It could have been a foreign labourer. But there was no way it was going to be me because I didn't even give myself a chance to win it. Didn't even buy a ticket from THAT outlet just across the street. Trust me, I tried. Went there twice after nightly mass this week and it was already closed. Oh well.

I know that banging on a lottery ticket is like saying THAT ticket is the thing that will provide, instead of saying it's God. I am fully aware that God is the provider not that Toto outlet. I am still buying the occasional Toto. Still not strong enough to give it up totally. A 50 cent ticket which might allow me to become a millionaire overnight. A 50 cent ticket that might make me comfortable financially. As the joke goes, how is God to bless me with a win if I didn't even buy the ticket? LOL. Ok, sorry, just some Friday craziness.

Here's what I would do if I became a millionaire overnight.

1) I'd thank God.
2) I'd scream for joy.
3) I'd tell my husband to keep quiet because he'd probably be telling me to stop screaming.
4) I'd scream for joy again.
5) I'd thank God again.
6) I'd scream for joy again.
7) I'd wake up REALLY early the next morning to go collect my winnings!
8) I'd pay off any loans.
9) I'd give money to our parents.
10) I'd give money to our kids.
11) I'd give money to some priests & relatives.

Then, with the extra, I'd wait upon the Lord to see where the rest should go. Well actually, this should be NO. 2, right after I thank the Lord!
I believe that if the Lord blesses me with abundant money, I'm not meant to keep it. I'm meant to help others. I never used to think this way. But the idea of spending money on a fancy house (not that a mere million would allow me to) or fancy car doesn't entice me. I'd be glad to be able to pay for the lousy, skyrocketing COE on our car that will be expiring in a few years' time or I might afford to maybe make a trade in. Hah!

If the Lord provides and allows, I'd like to be able to take my family on a year long back pack tour of the world. I'd like to be able to spend my days doing what I love. I'd like to be able to spend more time sharing the love of Jesus with others. Can a million dollars afford this? Probably, if we continue to be frugal. If you think you're on my list of beneficiaries, then help me ask the Lord to shower His abundant blessings on me so that I can in turn share His goodness with others!

This really was a crazy post brought on by the thought that THAT outlet had sold the winning ticket and I hadn't even bought one. I'm not saying God can only provide through Toto (LOL!!! I know I've given that impression but OF COURSE NOT!!!). I truly believe, there are no limits to what God can provide and through any means He so decides. But in HIS TIME and in HIS OWN WAY. THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR US!!!

Wait, I know, there are some people out there who will be wondering what I'm doing, waiting for God to provide when I'm supposed to just go out there and believe I myself have the power to do it, only if I believe. Nope. I no longer buy that crap. I see so many self-motivational posts floating around especially on Facebook and I'm thinking, sorry buddy, if you think YOU are going to be able to make something work on your own, without God's blessing, you're so wrong. You need to put in effort but you also need to stop to ask God for His guidance. Everything might seem fine now and you may seem to be living the high life or roaring along the success highway without the need for God but I'm certain that somewhere down the road, you'll understand the emptiness of your life without Jesus as your chief cousellor and councillor. I now fully believe that nothing in my life will work unless it is blessed by God. Not even that 50 cent Toto ticket.

When the music stops

In my previous post, I had mentioned a young Praise and Worship leader who was so humble in his words and actions and yet so very anointed. I was happy to see him at the second day of our Novena again. I wanted to go shake his hand after mass but couldn't find him.

I had a chance to compare it to another group who was loud, noisy and 'talkative'. Most of the time, the mic was going 'pop', 'pop', 'pop' because of the force of voice spoken into the mic. It was distracting, I couldn't make out what the Praise and Worship leader was saying and he was so wordy that I felt nothing. It's a horrible thing to say, seeing as people gave their time and effort to lead worship. But it affirmed in me that you do not have to be a loud, charismatic, dramatic or wordy leader to be effective. You have to be humble and let the Lord work through you. Because at the end of the day, you're not standing in front of the congregation to let people know how good you are or how glorious you are. You are letting the congregation know how good God is and how glorious God is!

In all honesty, I used to think the Catholic Mass was boring zzzzzzzz......If many of you are honest, you would have to admit that at some time or other, you've felt the same way as me. It's especially tough for the younger generation to 'dig it'. I used to yearn for a bit more jazz, the music played and sung in the manner of what I call the 'jumping' churches (where most of the congregation is reaching their arms upwards to God and yearning for 'more', 'more'!). Instead, we're subdued during mass. But I've come to love mass now. It is rich and meaningful to me. I am respectfully subdued because I am honouring God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I yearn for communion. I yearn to have the Body of Christ in me. I yearn to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I love the Angels and Saints watching over me. I love Mother Mary inteceding for me. It was when I started feeling positive about mass that I started looking at the 'jumping churches' and their beautiful music/singing in a different light. What happens in a black out? What happens if the world had no more electricity? What happens when the music stops?

I'm not saying the lively music of those churches don't help any. No, on the contrary, our Praise and Worship segments during Charismatic Prayer Group meetings can also have the same music and songs. It can be uplifting. But it is not in totality. You sometimes need such music to draw the younger generation. But we also have soft, slow moving songs too and they too move the Spirit strongly. We need the slower pace to cater to the 'older' generation too. We have Praise and Worship animators who are loud, who are wordy and who are soft, humble and quiet. They each do God's work in their own way. But what I have learnt from my observation of the various characteristics of Praise and Worship leaders is that I need not be the centre of attention. I need not let the focus be me. I need to refocus and let the focus be on God. It should NEVER be about me. It should ALWAYS be about JESUS. It is then, that the Holy Spirit works in me for the best outcome of others. I can be an instrument of God's work in the most subtle way and you can too.

SVDP Feast Day 2012 - Novena Day One

Annual Novena
Every year for the past few years, our church will celebrate the Feast Day of St Vincent de Paul with a meaningful 9 day Novena. We have not had church funfairs for the longest time. We have daily mass for 9 days leading up to the Feast Day. Then we have mass on the Feast Day too, so that's 10 days of daily mass. Honestly, it can be quite tiring for me because I rush home after work, have a quick bite, shower, change and rush out again.

Praise and Worship
Yesterday was our first night. Usually, our charismatic prayer group will lead praise and worship about thrice throughout the novena and invite the charsimatic groups from our district to lead for the rest of the masses. But our group took a break from leading praise and worship this year (understandably, it takes a lot of time and effort and everyone needs a break every now and then). Instead, we had the Indonesian Youth Charismatic Group lead last night. I was surprised at something. The worhip leader was a handsome young man. Very unassuming, behaved humbly and spoke very little. In fact, he was sort of reading from his script BUT I TRULY FELT HE WAS ANOINTED! He was so simple and yet, I could really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit! Awesome! That really affirmed in me, that you don't need flashy lights, eloquence or a booming voice to lift the congregation. You can be a gentle breeze, speaking in the softest whisper and yet, the Lord will hear you because you speak from the depths of your heart! I was so moved, I wanted to cry during his segment. So wonderful. So beautiful. Was a bit tired this morning but so looking forward to tonight again.

Silently Speaking

Peace be with you, my brothers and sisters. May today, bring you abundant blessings from Jesus!
(for some reason, just felt I had to say that!)

View from my office window

I don't usually have the luxury of time to do it but when I can find pockets of time here and there, I do. Sit with God that is, in Adoration Room. Sounds quite bad actually. Like IF only I have time, will I go visit Him there. But He knows me. He knows that I'm beginning to speak to Him all the time. I just don't always go to Adoration Room to do it.

So I sat in there and had a nice conversation with Him. He didn't have anything specific to say to me. Neither did I. But He did ask me if I was ready to do His work. I said I was. Took me by surprise but He then asked me what work I thought I would like Him to give me. For a moment, I was about to silently reply, 'Anything'. But I stopped myself and said instead that He should give to me whatever He thought my strength could bear. I felt not-in-a-humble-way pleased with myself for even thinking that! Not that God couldn't hear my first intended reply but still, I think this reply was more apt and 'protected' me more than to say, 'Anything'!!!

So, what's up with Him asking me if I was ready to do His work? Have I not already been doing it? Well, I actually took a break. Truly, I did. I told Him about a year ago to please stop sending me on what He told me were 'Angel Messenger' missions. Angel Messenger! When I heard that term, I was really shocked. I'd never heard of that term before. The message for these people was surprisingly simple, " JESUS LOVES YOU". I look back at that and am quite in AWE. I mean, Jesus could have asked me to pass a long speech but He didn't. I just needed to say those 3 words to complete strangers. IF it had been ME trying to talk to them without the guidance of Jesus, I would have broken out into a long winded holier-than-thou lecture. But the message was from Him.

One day, I told Him that even though He thought I could do it, I thought I really couldn't. I'd faced my own persecution for doing so even though I had done these tasks readily and openly. So He did. Stop, I mean. I never heard another prompting to pass a message to a complete stranger at an address He had also provided me. I didn't and I was relieved. So I took a break....until recently.

For now, the messages aren't for complete strangers but for people I know. I now sometimes feel a strong urge to pray for certain people. I sometimes get a prompting that God has a message for them. I am still cautious because my good intentions can be misintepreted as being a busybody or as being a show off. I can imagine certain persons (God forgive me. I really need prayers for still thinking this) talking behind my back and hitting me below the belt for thinking I have the Gift of hearing God.

I'm cautious but I've also sort of grown bolder and I'm ready to step out of my comfort zone. Although I'd rather not face opposition from people who are supposed to be supportive (I do not mean my family - they were very supportive), I know that my instructions are from God and I work for God and not for them. I feel I'm being guided by the Holy Spirit. There is more discretion (I do it discreetly) and I have a certain level of conviction that I am being sent to provide words to these people for comfort. To let them know that even if they are not hearing God, God hears them. So there. If you happen to be one of my 'critics', know that I had ONE YEAR or more to be STILL WITH GOD. I am ready, even if you're not. The beauty of it all? God knew I needed a break to get my composure back and He knows I'm back on track spiritually, even stronger now than before. I'm not perfect but I've grown spiritually and He knows it. I do not know where all this is leading me but I'm just taking it one step at a time, letting Him lead and guide me.

Before I left Adoration Room yesterday evening, Jesus had some parting words for me.
'You do my work and I will do yours'. 
That made perfect sense to me. Yes, Jesus, Amen!

Working Mother's Pizza Party! (and Chilli Chix Wings)

My daughter, Tessa had a pig out pizza party at our place recently to 'celebrate' the end of her GCE 'A' Levels preliminary exams. We call them 'prelims' here in Singapore. Prelims are the school based exams which are a sort of mock up of the actual 'A' Level exams to come. They've been busy studying so it was good to see them let their hair down for a day or two.

Home made pizza

I wouldn't exactly say making your own pizza is very much cheaper here in Singapore. For obvious reasons, the cost of cheese for pizza isn't as cheap as say in Australia or New Zealand. But I think making your own pizza will still cost you less than what you would pay for in a restaurant and you can definitely get more toppings for the same price or less. I had done a trial run (just for Mike, John and Tessa recently) and all I had put was cheese and Chicken Salami or Beef Pepperoni. No veg cos the kids enjoy their meaty pizzas. But this time round, for Tessa and her pals, I made sure to add red and green bell peppers, mushrooms and even black olives (I LOVE black olives!). I didn't get negative feedback (maybe they were too polite) so I hope it was to their liking!

Chilli Chicken Wings

Although I still cannot lay my hands on the Ghost Pepper chilli sauce (I tried but plans fell through from 2 separate sources -- I think I'm not meant to have them ever!), I did mix up a batch of my own super hot chilli paste and sort of made her pals go nuts a tad. It was like, sooooo hot....I can't take this....but I want to eat some more.....drink, drink......slurp slurp....sooooo hot....what am I doing? I'm eating some more! Hee hee. From the kitchen where I stayed to clean up, it was fun watching and hearing them munch and laugh at the table.

Also did Aglio Olio to go with the above two dishes. I think the makan session went well. They stayed from lunch through dinner till late at night. I'm happy to be able to cook and let my kids and their friends have a good time eating and talking. As long as the Lord provides, I pray I will be able to provide to others as well, even if it's just through my simple dishes. Thank you, Lord for your provision.

Are Catholics Christian?

Is a Catholic a Christian?

This really irks me and when it comes from people who are ignorant of our faith, I can understand it but recently, I heard a church catechist mention in a sentence, that implied that we are Catholics, not Christians. That horrified me! I think he meant that we're Catholics and not Protestants but for a Christian teacher, teaching Christianity to our children and not getting this right, really, really horrified me. Actually, there were two things he said. He said, 'I don't mean Bible reading Christians. We're not Christians, we're Catholic'.
Horrors. Catholics are Christians and Catholics DO read the bible even if he may not. This scares me alot because he's a catechist. No, I didn't approach him. I'm praying for him instead.

It's typical. Someone asks a Catholic, 'Are you are a Christian?' and the Catholic answers, 'No, I'm Catholic'. The next time you are asked that, take a second to let the question sink in before you reply. I always say, 'Yes, I'm Catholic' and the person asking, if he or she is a Protestant, looks at me as though I've lost my marbles. You can just see it in their faces, they want to say, 'NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE A CATHOLIC'. But they politely nod their heads and say instead, 'Oh, you're Catholic'. As a Catholic, if you said you weren't a Christian, not only are you an ignorant fool, you're also denying the existence of Jesus Christ. It's quite okay to lose your marbles but not okay to lose your way.

Yes, a Catholic is a Christian. I am Catholic and I am a Christian because I believe in Jesus Christ, who is the head of my everything. Christianity is coined from being the followers of Christ and the Christ is Jesus Christ. The term 'Christianity' is used in the New Testament, especially by Paul the Apostle.

At this point, I'm not arguing with any Protestant who wishes to bring home the point that Catholics are not Christians because Catholics are sinners blah blah blah. No, this is not the purpose of this post. People have argued till the cows come home but I frankly think Jesus doesn't care a hoot if you're Catholic or Protestant. He cares if you are with Him or not with Him. I don't think in Heaven, they have separate areas for Roman Catholics and Protestants. Oops, wait, to some others, Catholics don't even go to Heaven! They think Catholics spend eternity in Purgatory and for coming up with Purgatory, we go straight to 'H--'!!! I'm just wondering, do they think Mother Mary is in Heaven near to Jesus or in H--?

The purpose of this post is to let ignorant Catholics AND Protestants out there know that YES, CATHOLICS ARE CHRISTIANS, because the last I checked, Jesus Christ is the basis of the Catholic faith. The term 'Catholic church' is also used in some protestant prayer books to mean 'universal church' and not to mean 'Catholic' as some people deem today, as a 'sect' of Christianity.

I recall an incident at my grandmother's funeral some years back. She was baptised as a Christian late in her life. During a night prayer service, the protestant prayer booklet which had been supplied by the Pastor invited for that evening had the term 'Catholic church' in it. When the bunch of us (Catholics and Protestants) were praying aloud the Nicene Creed and had read that term out loud, you could hear a pin drop above the din. Presumably, the protestants were horrified that they had just claimed to belong to the 'Catholic church' (even if the prayer book was from a Protestant church) and the Roman Catholics were bemused that the term was being used in a Protestant prayer booklet. I never saw those prayer booklets being used again for the rest of the nightly services. Utter ignorance. Knee jerk reaction. The term 'Catholic church' is to mean 'Universal Church'. Protestants might in a bid not to mix up the meaning with being Roman Catholic (Heaven forbid!), use the term 'Church catholic' instead to mean 'Universal church'.

So yes, we are Christians. If Catholics ourselves don't know this, how do we expect others to? So remember, if you're a Roman Catholic and the next time someone asks you if you're a Christian, you answer, 'Yes, I'm a Catholic'!

Working Mother's Curry, Aglio Olio and Thin Crust Pizza!

I've been writing about my journey with God, I've neglected to post pics of food. Not that I used to but now, I rarely cook anything that causes my family to get a bad stomach. How God blesses me! Ha ha ha

I had some chilli paste so I tried to make my curry spicier than usual. This one turned out nice:

Curry, my way

I think 'nice' because of the chilli paste. I purposely cooked it a bit drier than I normally would with curry. Hubby said it was delicious.

On a different day, I tried it again and used a spicier chilli paste which I had ground and my boys hated it. They aren't big on chilli and complained non-stop that it was waaaaay too spicy. Oh well.. Something weird I noticed here. My boy is the one who can take spicier chilli sauce in dishes and the girl usually doesn't care for chilli much. But ever since she ate her Aunt's super duper spicy chilli chicken wings (cooked with Naga or Bhut Jolokia chilli sauce - also known as Ghost Pepper sauce), she's been bugging me to replicate that hotness level. I however, cannot replicate a chilli paste to match the Ghost Pepper's scorville level IF I don't have the Ghost Pepper sauce in the first place. Her aunt had purchased it overseas. I mean, for the longest time, the Ghost Pepper was known as the hottest chilli pepper in the world (it's now been topped by the Trinidad Scorpion Butch T). The most I can do is replace with chilli padi and Sriracha chilli sauce (make sure it's the spicy one cause they have mild ones too).

The first time, for her Junior College pals, I cooked up a batch of wings that weren't too spicy because one or two of them weren't big on chilli (like my boys). They loved it and they're coming over again to have more, now that their 'A' Level prelims are over. But this time, they want it super spicy. So now, the girl, who doesn't usually care for spicy food, is the one bugging me big time to go find her the Ghost Pepper sauce. Sigh. I'm trying. I'm trying, lah! The bottled ones sold overseas are just too expensive to be used for everyday cooking.

So, since I've been cooking chilli chicken wings at home, I also have been cooking Aglio Olio in its simplest form, with nothing else (which is what it's originally supposed to be). Aglio Olio = Garlic and Oil.
It is aromatic and is a good change from the usual red or white pasta sauce spaghetti.

Aglio Olio

Aglio Olio grows on me. In fact, my boys said although my tomato based spaghetti tastes great (after years of practice), my Aglio Olio tastes even better and they love it. Cheap and good! Yeah, not exactly being very humble here. I love it too. Simple and tasty. Not too overwhelming. Just nice to eat with the chilli chicken wings (forgot to take a pic of the wings). I actually season then oven bake them so that it won't be as unhealthy as deep frying them. Will post pics of the wings another time.

Then last Sunday, night, because it was raining, it felt like it'd be a good night to have hot, home made pizza!

Home made thin crust pizza (no vegetables please!)

Meat eaters pizza, lah. I know my kids hate pizza with anything else but meat and cheese. If we order pizza, they'll pick out all the peppers and onions. See that Veri Peri sauce bottle in the pic? That's quite spicy. Coming from me, when I say it's spicy, it's spicy. It's not Ghost Pepper level spicy but it's spicy. Enough to make you wanna drink water, then pour on more sauce. Heehee.

So there. I feel so blessed that God enables me to cook because I find cooking so therapeutic. Eating is even more therapeutic! (Yes, I've put on ONE kg!)

Have a great weekend and May God Bless You!



The Only Way

"And the word of the Lord came to me, saying:
Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And before you went forth from the womb, I sanctified you. And I made you a prophet to the nations.
And I said : "Alas, alas, alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am a boy.
And the Lord said to me: "Do not choose to say, 'I am a boy.' For you shall go forth to everyone to whom I will send you. And you shall speak all that I will command you.
You should not be afraid before their face. For I am with you, so that I may deliver you," says the Lord.
And the Lord put forth His hand, and He touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me:"Behold, I have placed my words in your mouth.
Behold, today, I have appointed you over nations and over kingdoms, so that you may root up, and pull down, and destroy, and scatter, and so that you may build and plant. ~ Jeremiah 1 : 4-10

Buying Pens
Jesus asks for our obedience to Him in our daily life. Obedience to Him and He will show us the way.
When I was young, the shops which sold ordinary writing pens would provide paper so that you could test if the pens you were buying, had ink (I've noticed that some shops no longer have this practice as they tape up the pens and expect you to expect the pens to have ink and just buy them!). I used to and I still do, for some reason, whenever I test the pens, I may not just draw random squiggles. I will most times write the sentence, 'The only way". I don't know why I write this. It seems like an incomplete sentence and for many, many years, I would wonder what the end of the sentence was supposed to be. "The only way.....(what?)". This is how I write it.

Of late, I was thinking that perhaps, it is supposed to be referring to Jesus' 'I am the way, the truth and the life'. But I do not write 'I am the way....'. I write, 'The only way'.

Yesterday, whilst reading 'God Calling' during my lunch break, I came across this page in the book:

The Only Way
I just smiled when I saw that sentence. What type of header is that? 'The Only Way'? It seems incomplete! Yet, I had to smile and such joy filled in me. It was an affirmation that I am on the right track, yearning more and more for the treasures of the Kingdom of Heaven, as opposed to the treasures on earth! It IS THE ONLY WAY! God already knew when I was born into a non-Christian family, that He would pave the way for me to accept Him one day and that I would one day, learn 'the only way'.

If 'God Calling' had been a novel, I would have finished it much faster. In fact, I AM so keen to devour it all but have no choice but to read it slowly because I am trying to let every sentence soak into my very being. I've only read the daily devotions from January to July. Frankly, I didn't turn to the back of the book to find out if the devotions ended in December. I'm guessing it does. I have another daily devotional book which I could not seem to finish reading and I was reading only 1 devotion per day! Mike asked me last night if I was supposed to read one devotion from 'God Calling' a day. I said, I guess it was but I cannot help myself from reading more. I'm too excited about what each message holds because of the similarities they have with the messages I receive from God.

I love, love every word in this book and I don't need to know where it ends. Having read the messages up to July -- I'll be very honest -- I have already prepared myself with God's guidance and messages (prior to reading the book). I mean, whatever He says should be done up till July, I think I am already 'there'. That's why I'm so excited. As I read, I'm mentally going, 'Oh! He's already shown me this, he's already told me that, I've already learnt this'. Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying I have conquered everything. Hardly. But I have been 'informed' to be, to do, to act, to feel a certain way and God has been preparing me the past few years to be where I am today.

In fact, as I read in bed at night, I keep nudging Mike to say, 'It's amazing! He says this and this....and it's exactly what He's told me!' How shall I say this? It's like you're in the second year in Junior College and you're reading the notes of a year 1 student. You then go nodding your head, thinking to yourself, I was already taught this. But it doesn't mean you're good in it. You've just 'heard' of it. I just feel that He made me 'bump' into this book and buy it! I see the messages in this book as an affirmation to me that I am on track. Hey, I'm not on track to sainthood. I am on track to trying to be obedient to God in my very humanly faltering manner.

Great Expectations
I don't know how to contain my excitement because I can feel it in my bones that GREAT things are going to happen in my life. I've been feeling this everyday since God invited me to be in His presence in Adoration Room. That was before coming across this book. I told Mike that perhaps it's time for me to go 'home' to Him (I won't know, will I?) but I just feel so excited that something is about to happen!!! Although I'm dying inside to know it, I won't bug God for clues because I trust He knows best.

Painful Preparation
When I read June and July's messages, it was also in the direction I am headed. I don't mean to infringe on any copyright laws and I hope God will bless and cover me against being sued for doing this, but I just wish to show you what I mean. Here's an excerpt of the message of July 7:

Painful Preparation
"Help and peace and joy are here. Your courage will be rewarded.
Painful as this time is you will both one day see the reason of it, and see too that it was not cruel testing, but tender preparation for the wonderful life-work you are both to do.
Try to realize that your own prayers are being most wonderfully answered. Answered in a way that seems painful to you, but that just now is the only way. 
Success in the temporal world would not satisfy you.
Great success, in both temporal and spiritual world awaits you.
I know you will see this had to be." ~ "God Calling" edited by A. J Russell (Message of July 7 "Painful Preparation").

True Friends
So, I had quoted Jeremiah 1 4:10 because while every bone in me may say that the earthly way is to do this, to be this way, to say this, to own this, to buy this...... I know that the Godly way is not the earthly way. I know that I've made some changes to my life and I'm going to be making more changes and these changes won't go down well with other earthlings but I need to stay focused, be strong and know that it is the CEO of my existence that matters. I think some of my friends or relatives who might not be on the same track as me may think I'm going overboard with this 'God' thing. They're probably just too polite to say it in front of me. They are probably concurring with each other. That's a good way to say gossipping about it. I hope not because if you were really my friend, you wouldn't be doing that. But anyway, you're human and not Divine, so I understand. If I have to lose the world to gain God, I will. If I have to lose friends to gain God, I will.
But I tell you, this is a really good way to see people for what they are. I have also gained the trust of some close friends whom I have shared my messages with. Very slowly, I see how they change. How the Lord works in their lives and I see how our friendship has grown. I don't have a thousand friends. I have a pocketful of good ones. In my pursuit of God's Kingdom, there is peace in my heart if I have to lose the majority of my friends to gain a few true ones. I will stand by my King and if He stands with you, what have you to lose?

The King and I
I mean, think of it this way. What if I lived in a land where this great King ruled and everything was done according to his will? Many of his servants and workers are too in awe of him and too distanced from him to speak to him. But this King, he speaks to me personally because he knows me and I him. What if one day, this King tells me, to go some place to mine for diamonds and while I do that, the servants attack me, scold me and gossip about me because they think I'm not supposed to? Would I be willing to face ridicule from the majority of the people of the land or would I obey my King who had given me the instructions personally? What if the whole land wishes to have me cast out and my King is the only one who will not allow it? Who will matter more to me? The King or the others?

God Has Plans For Us - What Are Our Plans For Him?
At the beginning of this post, I had quoted Jeremiah because God already knew me before I was even born. He had a path set out for me and He had to make me go through what I had to go through and still am going through because all this was necessary for me to get to where I am today and to get me where I need to go from here. I feel that because God always gives us the ability to make choices, He may have set a path for us but ultimately, it is up to us to get on that path to His Kingdom or get lost. He cannot decide that for us. Yep, I'm thoroughly convinced of this. I feel so blessed that while I on earth may think my life in chaos, God thinks differently. Awesome. Thank you, Jesus. I trust in you, Jesus.

Does developing your prayer life help anyone else but yourself?

New Friend
Last night, I had an opportunity to speak to a young Catholic. We had discussed how we both differ so vastly in how we serve God. He is more the hands on type. Needs to run around and do things to help out / do chores for church etc. I on the other hand, like to spend time developing my relationship with God with prayer. He felt that if he did what I was doing, he thinks it's pointless as it wouldn't benefit others. I begged to differ and explained that it was very important to me that I first strengthen my own prayer life and develop a close relationship with God because with His empowerment, I'd be able to reach out to others I meet. I can speak fearlessly and share God's goodness and awesomeness with people. The young person nodded his head as if he understood me but I think he's perhaps too young to understand it. This young man's way is no less than mine and mine is no less than his. We serve God in different ways.

Is developing a prayer life of any use to anyone else but yourself?
How can my developing a closer walk with God help others then? Last night, as hubby and I was taking a midnight walk, he told me about how a Protestant man and a very young boy had come knocking on our door to share the Word of God with him. They were persistent even though Mike told them we were already Christians. They wanted us to join in their church activities even though Mike had told them we had our own church activities. Anyway, Mike didn't let them enter our house. I wasn't home at the time these two males had approached Mike. Mike wanted to know if I would have entertained them. I said, "YES! If they want to share their stories about Christ, I will tell them to come in cos I want to share with them how AWESOME Jesus is too!". This is such a different ME. Before LISS, I would have been really pissed that these Protestants were trying to convert Catholics again! Now, I'm thinking, I can share with you how what miracles Jesus can do for 'sinning' Catholics too! Come on in! I might be the ones scaring them off this time round.

Why it works for me
Ok, what I meant to demonstrate is, being empowered by the strength of God, by the teachings of Jesus, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit is all it takes to change me completely. I fear not now when I speak of Christ because I have experienced His goodness personally. I speak with a conviction from the bottom of my heart. But I don't ever take this conviction for granted. I can lose it in a day. Something really bad happens and I get turned off by God. I stay away from Him, from His word, from church. I stop praying. I stop listening. I stop sharing. That's how I think would be the end of me. So instead, I pray all the time for Him to hold on to me. To never let me go even when I fall and I sin. To stay close to me. To empower me with obedience to Him and to instill fearlessness in me so I can do His will.

Mission Statement at age 44
Also, a closer prayer life with God has allowed me realise something I didn't know I wanted to do.
Here's my mission statement at the grand old age of 44:
"To develop my walk with God so that His empowerment in me can strengthen me spritually to allow Him to work through me to benefit others."

Have I lost my marbles? Only God knows. Ha ha. Have a GREAT DAY and bask in the JOY that the LORD brings!

God Calling

God Calling - by A.J. Russells
On the 5th of September 2012, I had taken leave from work to run some errands and had visited a Salvation Army second hand outlet with Mike. Was browsing in the used books section and stumbled upon a copy of 'God Calling' by AJ Russell.

Purchased the book & Plumbing woes
I had vaguely read the synopsis and it seemed like a daily devotional book but something in the intro had interested me. The author had said that he hadn't really written the book. I understood it to be a book of messages from God to some others but having been edited by AJ Russell. Bought it for a few dollars. I then let the book sit in the paperbag for a couple of days as I'd been very busy. In fact, Mike & I had spent the whole weekend trying to fix broken plumbing! Aaaaarrrgh! (We give up - we're calling the plumber. Hope God blesses the situation this time and I won't get another nightmarish plumber from Elm Street).

Hearing God
When I finally started reading the first few pages of the book.......my excitement level just heightened. I haven't finished the book but I'm so excited that I JUST had to blog about this. If you've been following my blog, you would have known by now that I speak of 'hearing' God's promptings. I have 3 diaries in which I journaled His messages to me. It should have been more diaries already but I stopped journalling the past few months. So far, I feel His messages have been specifically for me and not for others. He's not told me to tell them to anyone else. Apart from the times I had received His promptings to specifically visit complete strangers at specific addresses, the times I was journalling, I feel that His messages were more to encourage me, to strengthen me, to edify me and totally in accordance to what the Bible teaches. I don't feel they were for the public but then, it never crossed my mind if they were actually.

Critics
Anyhow, you have two people writing down what they were hearing from God. My printed edition is 1953 and I think the events happened in the earlier part of the century (1930s maybe) so the people weren't really as bold as me today to declare them as messages from God (on a blog *slaps forehead*). I mean, even as I write this in 2012 (we're supposed to be so open and modern!), I KNOW for a fact there are people out there who still doubt me. Some of my own fellow Catholics probably think I don't have enough 'experience' to be experiencing this. I don't really care about that because God didn't ask me to do battle with my doubters. He asked me to believe and trust in Him and to obey Him. That's all I care about these days. Also, I think they should be more in awe of what God can do because since when does He do things according to their rules? He is not defined by what we think. It is we who have to be defined by what He thinks. Instead of sitting on holier-than-thou thrones, licking their own wounds for not hearing the way I do, I think they should be spending more time developing a real relationship with God. What? Is there a queue? The less experienced have to stand behind the more experienced in order to receive God's gifts? I think not. Not boasting here, just stating a fact. God can raise up a sinner on Earth if He chooses to do so. Who are we to judge God? If Christian leaders themselves cannot see this, than what are they really teaching? I'm going a bit off tangent here but this is my blog and I will say what I want to say. I feel so sad that some Christian leaders cannot see the awesomeness of God when they themselves preach it to others. Me thinks they get blindsided by personal envy and pride instead.

God's Speech Pattern
Back to the book. I am so excited because when I was journalling, I found His messages to be in a style that is really unique. Sometimes, it's a tad long-winded. Erm, since God already knows what is in my heart, I shall speak the truth. It is most times, long-winded prose. There's so much repetition! It's not entirely 'spoken' in old school English. Neither uptight nor casual. God definitely has a unique style of putting together words. I sometimes find it like how a Grandpa would nag at me.....heehee. When I journal, most times, my hand cannot keep up with the words spilling out of my mind or heart (I don't know). Sometimes, I shake my head because I cannot make sense of the way he 'speaks'. It's not grammatically wrong - please understand this. But it's not how I would write or speak. It's definitely repetitive and it's out of this world. It is difficul to define. Sometimes, it's like riddle after riddle and you're supposed to catch the concept of what He is saying by answering His thought provoking questions. Yet, it's not a silly riddle. It makes a lot of sense when you think about the questions. He asks alot of rhetorical questions, that's for sure. Wow, wow and wow.

So when I read the first few pages of the book, I was flabberghasted!!! The prose was exactly how I hear Him 'speak' to me!!! Totally unbelievable for me. Remember, I've been 'hearing' Him since mid 2009 and I've only purchased this book on 5 Sept 2012. I've ONLY started reading this book and the messages today, 10 Sept 2012. Wow. I'm speechless. I was so excited, I just had to blog about this.

Source and Fruit?
To those who still doubt me, well there's nothing I can do and nothing I wish to do except to pray that one day, you too will be able to hear what I hear. Is it the evil one speaking to me? Well, critics of the book God Calling believe so. They draw the conclusion that because for us to 'hear' God, we need to silence ourselves, that we're doing a form of Spiritism. I think calling it Holy Spiritism would be more apt. Calling upon the evil one? Oh yes, sure. The evil one helps to write a devotional book solely dedicated to bring glory to Jesus. Well, that's a new one. The evil one helps me hear God telling me to do good. Whatever messages I hear, it's always in line with the 'instructional objectives' of the Bible. It's in line with the teachings of Jesus, so there. Oh wait, it just dawned on me that maybe, my doubters may think I'm not hearing God and that I'm just making it all up. Well, jolly good. As if I have the time for that. I was told, they wanted to 'discern'. Well, I'm sorry, God when He gives me messages, did not tell me to go to so and so to get His messages verified. I mean, it was a conversation between Him and myself. I doubt they can verify it unless God uses 4 way calling or something. Utter excuses.

Go and think whatever you like. My aim is to please God, not you. I only blog about this so that some random person who stumbles upon my writings may benefit from what I've gone through, I can't wait to finish reading the book!

New Project
Oh yes, by the way, I'm probably in part 2 of my new 'project' which I believe is being blessed by God. Yippee for me!