What in the world is that? No, it's not some spaceship exploring an unknown planet. It's the colorectal surgeon using a 'ligator' to rubberband internal piles! Hemorrhoids (US spelling), Haemorrhoids (British spelling). It's something I think only 'old' people get. Well apparently, it seems, I've grown 'old' enough to get it!
I know it seems gross to be writing this but if this info. will help someone else, then hey, why not?
I first felt something was not right down there about a year ago. Yes, down there refers to my A**.
Because I can sit for long periods of time in front of the computer or whilst painting, I started to feel a bit of pain only at random times.
But things got a bit scary when I started to turn the toilet bowl a bright red with blood. It happened a few times and Mike advised me to go see a doc. My GP thought that from my description, that it was likely piles causing the bleeding but advised me to have it checked out by the hospital anyway. The specialist confirmed that I had internal piles. It was a bit nerve wrecking prior to the appointment. I mean, piles I can live with but what if the diagnosis meant something else?
Anyway, after a few checks, I was scheduled for a colonoscopy which took place last week. What the heck do they do at a colonoscopy? Well, I too wanted to find out and freaked myself out watching some YouTube videos. I was petrified that some colorectal doc with shaky hands would perforate my intestines! I was advised that IF the colonoscopy showed up nothing unusual (that's a nice way of saying if they don't find any growths / cysts), they would then proceed to ligate my internal piles. I just heard from people that ligating meant rubberbanding. I kept wondering how they'd be skillful enough to rubberband a swollen blood vessel in that very sensitive area!
Anyhow, I had to prep myself the day before the 'surgery'. I was told by a nurse:
NO milk
NO butter
NO veg
NO meat
NO fruits
NO cereals
I stared at her blankly and asked her, 'Then what can I eat?'
She answered very cooly,
Teh 'O' (tea without milk)
Kopi 'O' (coffee without milk)
White bread & Jam for breakfast
Fish Porridge for lunch
Bee Hoon or Mee Suah for dinner
Wow! Talk about dieting!
On top of that, I was given two packets of concoction I was to mix and gulp down with 2 litres of water. Little did I know that this concoction would be the WORST part of this whole procedure! Yucks! I wanna throw up just thinking about it. I mean, my tolerance for bitter tasting stuff (a.k.a Chinese herbal drinks / soups) is pretty good, having been admonished since young by my mother that, 'This is soooooo expensive, you better drink it all up!'
Day before the procedure, I dilligently rushed to NTUC (a 24 hr one) before work and bought myself a loaf of white bread and a bottle of Marmalade Jam (I was wondering how come I was allowed jam when they said no fruit? But who cared, they said jam, so jam it was!) Ate my breakfast at work. Jam didn't taste too bad after all.
Lunch time, I sat staring at the delicious condiments of the porridge stall and ordered myself a bowl of plain porridge (without sauce) and a single steamed fish. No chilli. No bean sauce. It really didn't taste too bad but I couldn't help but feel like an 'ah mm' (old woman) or 'ah pek' (old man) eating that.
Dinner, I told Mike to not keep dinner for me, instead, I'd drive to Kopitiam to have a bowl of fish soup. In my haste to tell the woman, 'No veg, no sauce, no fried onions, no parsley, no nothing!', I forgot to use my Kopitiam card (for the 3rd time this month) at that stall and paid the lady cash instead!!! For the learned local, that means I lost my 10% discount. Felt like kicking myself since that was a $6 bowl of sliced fish soup with nothing! When I remembered it, the lady told me it was too late. Sigh.
So I sat there, forcing myself to eat my 'healthy' dinner. Surprisingly, sliced fish soup with nothing else made me quite full!
Went home and my belly was already half bursting with the soup. But oh guess what, I had to go mix my first sachet of powder with 1 litre of water. Sat at our new dining table (just moved house remember?) for an hour drinking the world's most horrible concoction. I didn't think I'd actually sit by the table that whole hour. But there was nothing else I could do if I wanted to finish it within an hour. By the second hour and with the second bottle however, I had left the table and started visiting the loo. Drink, loo. Drink, loo. Drink loo. It was like that the whole next hour. Had a couple of tablets to swallow too. It went on like that until my last half of the second bottle and I threw up. I literally threw up. It was THAT BAD. I told myself that was it and gulped down a couple of cups of plain water. Plain water never tasted so good!
Next morning, Mike dropped me off at the new Khoo Teck Puat hospital and went his way. The nurses gave me that sad look when they realised I had arrived for the procedure 'alone'. Aiyah, we just being practical mah. Whatever do I want my hubby to hang around and wait for me for? The nurses took very good care of me and I didn't feel lonely or frightened at all. It wasn't until I was changed and lying in the 'ward' that I realised some of the other patients had their partners with them and they were 'comforting' them. I was just glad to be able to have quiet time to lie in bed and read old 'Her World' mags which a nurse had so kindly provided. Ha! Things a busy mom with a hectic schedule actually appreciates! The last thing I need is for my hubby to be hanging around being bored by my side! I had to wait nearly an hour.
When they finally came for me, it was 'swoosh'. Everything happened so quickly. They wheeled me into the operating theatre, checked that I was the correct patient going for the correct procedure and then injected me with drugs. I was supposed to be so drowsy that I'd not know much. At least 3 nurses told me that prior. But guess what? It didn't work. I was so alert, I heard and felt everything. I can't say I saw anything because my specs were removed. But I felt the pumps of air they had to blow into my intestines (to open up the passageways for the camera to go through) and that hurt quite a bit. I was going, 'Ouch!' 'Ouch!' every now and then. Then I heard 'Clip, clip, clip' and I thought that'd be the part they ligated my internal piles. Was wheeled out of the operating theatre in a jiffy.
Then another nurse came and advised me to rest for the next 2 hours as I'd be drowsy from the drugs. Drowsy??? I wasn't drowsy at all, in fact I was HUNGRY! I did try to pretend to be drowsy but it didn't work. I was up in a while and they brought me a sandwhich and milo (which I gobbled down greedily!). Then I asked to call for my hubby to pick me up. After I did that, I decided to go to sleep! Ha ha. I figured, if I were paying for the day ward charges, I might as well catch up on my sleep, seeing as I haven't been sleeping much since being so busy and tired from our house move. Besides, the aircon and quietness was pretty nice!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........it was Mike who nudged me gently to wake me up.
He hung around awhile as I got up to change and wait for the doc's report to be out. The nurse then told me that my colonoscopy had shown an all clear (Praise the Lord!) and I had 3 internal piles ligated. She advised me to take soft foods for the day so that I wouldn't be passing motion too quickly and risk tearing the ligation. When I was discharged, I told Mike to take me to MAKAN!!! What soft food? I was ravenous from the previous day's 'diet' and 'detox' and I was going to eat whatever my heart desired! Hee hee.
The hospital called up the next day to advise me that it'd take up to 2 weeks for the dried up piles to drop out. A little bleeding was expected but I was to report back to the hospital if I had excessive bleeding.
Well, I still feel a bit weird in the A**. Like there's something there. But otherwise, I'm fine. So, there, rubberbanding my internal piles. : )
P.S - I lost a couple of kilos from the housemoving weeks and this 'detox' exercise!
P.S - I lost a couple of kilos from the housemoving weeks and this 'detox' exercise!
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