Led by the Spirit

In my family of 4 (I mean including hubs and kids), I declare myself, Chief Organiser. That means, my stress level hovers at high all the time because as Chief Organiser, I need to be logical, prompt, quick, calculative, demanding, forceful, - you get the drift. After a hard day's work at the office (where other people are Chief), I come home and feel the need to push them off their butts with my motherly comments and instructions. While I may be somewhat maverick in my parenting ways, I'm by no means nuts and I'm still completely Singaporean! That means, you won't be finding me running down the street in my birthday suit anytime soon. It also means that I may go to church and pray for God's guidance but do I really understand what it's like to be guided by Him at all? Well, I'm learning all the time that there's a first time for everything.

First off, let me tell you that if you'd told me a year ago that YOU could hear God, I'd have thought you were crazy and a fanatic, no less. So it's quite alright if you think the same of me now. However, I'd recommend anyone to start having quiet time to just listen to what God has to say to you. You'll be surprised.

In my previous post, I wrote that I'd been spending alone time with God, trying my best to listen to what He has to say to me. I do ask Him questions too and He does answer them and sometimes, I'm completely taken aback by His answers. I could never have come up with such answers myself so if you're thinking I imagined them, you're incorrect.

One day last week before the Blessed Sacrament in our church's Adoration Room I was having one of my 'conversations' with God (We don't speak audibly. Conversations are transmitted in what I would call a telepathic manner. I hear Him and I know that He hears me). Tapering to the end, He asked me if I would do Him a favour. I was nervous but I said, 'Yes'. He passed me a message for a certain household. I sensed 2 digits but I was confounded and wondered how I was supposed to go look for a house with just those 2 digits as a clue! Over the next few days in Adoration Room, I gathered another 2 digits. So I had 4 digits (apparently an HDB apartment) to go on in the whole of Singapore island. In the course of the week, whenever I happened to be driving around, I'd be on the lookout for these 4 digits but would come up with nothing.

Last weekend, Mike and I had to visit an apartment in an estate near ours. I reached the block of flats and got a shock of my life as the ground floor unit in front of me carried those 4 digits! The door was closed although I could see a curtain through the opened corridor window. I hovered outside that apartment wondering if I should 'do it' but we were late for our appointment so I left.

When we came down the block again, I went to the ground floor unit again and this time, the door was open. I peeked in the very dark flat and noticed a man sitting in front of his TV, holding what seemed like a bottle of hard liquor to his mouth. I walked away and headed back to our car with Mike, all the time wondering, should I or should I not? But I couldn't walk very far from that unit because my head was pounding and my heart was beating very fast. I recognised my usual symptoms of God's prompting. So I told Mike I had something to do and I'd meet him at the car later. Mike went to the car to wait for me.

I walked back to that unit and peeked in again. He was still drinking. Maybe he had plain water in that bottle, I don't know! But I called out to him through his apartment gate. He got up immediately and put his bottle on a side cabinet. He came to the gate. He looked to be in his late 20s or early 30s. Relatively good looking.

Seriously, I've never done this to a stranger before. Prior to this, I DID use my logic to reason that there would be no harm in the contents of the message. In fact, it would do that person good (I should add that it is in line with scripture) and that's why I was open to the idea of passing a message to a complete stranger. I looked the guy in the eye and just explained that I was Catholic and God had a message which I was supposed to pass to this particular house address. He just nodded his head. So I told him the message. His eyes grew wide and for an instant, I thought I saw a softening and sadness in his eyes, like he was about to tear. He still hadn't spoken a word. I asked him if he were a Christian and he said he wasn't. So apologetically, I told him I was sorry for having disturbed him but it was just that God had wanted me to pass him that message. His only answer to me? 'Ok'.

I walked away feeling like a goon but the pounding in my head had stopped. I got back into the car and Mike just asked, 'So? What did Jesus ask you to say? I couldn't help but burst out laughing. My hubby knows me so well! Later that evening,  I sat in Adoration Room asking Jesus if I'd passed the message to the right person. It clearly was.

I had asked God to lead and guide me, to open up my heart to Him and if making a fool out of myself is what it entails, then as scary as it may seem or as illogical to me as it seems, I'll do it. My logic in this matter? God has His reasons which I may not always understand but He totally understands us so I'll just have to learn to place my faith in Him.