Weight gain

Aiyoh. I said in my previous post I have never felt depressed. I think weighing oneself can cause instant depression!

My trusty old Ikea weighing scale

 

I am fully aware that when you are exercising to lose weight, you should not be so bothered with weighing yourself because you can actually stay the same weight, lose weight or gain weight.

All the same, it was 'depressing' to see my weight staring back at me just a while ago!

 

I've not weighed myself in a while. I have this personal weighing scale which I keep in the office under my table which is a tad out of whack (off calibration) because it adds a few more kgs to your actual weight. I think it's off calibration from 'office people' borrowing it to weigh heavy cartons! I just know that some pants and some dresses are getting loser and it's not because I've been dieting. It just happened. And as I've said in my last post, I just re-started exercising a bit here and there. Actually, another lady asked me if I was not feeling well because I seem to have lost weight over the past few months. Really, ah? That makes me happy! The weight loss part but not the sickness part, lah.

 

Anyway, I didn't dare to step on the scales until today and alamak. Contrary to what I'd expected, I'd put on weight! Ok, ok. I know. Fats turn into muscle. Blah blah. Still, depressing.

 

I'd only stepped on it because someone in the neighbouring office asked to borrow a weighing scale and had returned it to me, thus drawing my attention to it. The person (who's overweight), started explaining how he used to be very skinny. When he said that and I looked at overweight him, it hit home. I also think that way. I mean, I'm overweight and I'd like the world to know that when I got married, my waistline was only 23cm inches! Yes. 23cm inches. Now, to get my current waistline, you can invert the 23cm inches and do the Math.

 

When I heard him say that. It really dawned on me that no matter how skinny I used to be, I no longer am. When I get my photos taken, I have to pick a good one to post. One where I look least fat in. That's the honest truth. I don't have to look the prettiest in any pic but I need it to be the one least fat amongst all the pics. When I order clothes online, its touch and go. My bust line is satisfactory but not too ample and yet my tummy and hips are. So they don't match up for dress sizes you can order. I need to go for a bigger size and thus have to settle for a too loose bust line. Or, I order one that fits my bust but end up with a tight squeeze showing the bulging tummy. Okay, skater cut dresses can cover ample hips, butts and thunder thighs. 3/4 sleeves (leg O' ham sleeves?) can cover underarm fat. Lower necklines can give an illusion of slimness (but a lack of cleavage), slimmer waistlines can give an illusion of smaller waists. (Yes,I do know what can mask my fats best although I don't stick to these rigidly). Plus sized clothes are too big for me. What does that leave me with? Not very much choice. 

 

I realised when the guy was talking that I still have a choice to be less fat. Not to be thin but to be less fat than I am now.

 

Hubby is happy with the way I am now. I'm happy he loves me the way I look but I think he's just being nice. I would love myself looking a bit less fat and really, I'm sure hubby would too. Come on! Last night, he was showing me pics of these twin girls he said were so pretty and they were NOT fat!!! (Actually, I looked at them and honestly thought they were not pretty but he insisted they were!)

 

Going back to the scale. Aiyoh. Perhaps my weight gain is really the fats turning into muscle***. Cheh. Darn sian. I mean you would feel sian too if I said after exercising, you will look half your size but gain more weight. Anyway, I'm not giving up. I actually look forward to bouncing on my mini-trampoline and I'm going to build up my stamina so that I can last longer on it. I always think of my thrice a week belly dancing classes and miss them terribly. I love belly dancing. But I am just too tired after work to make a trip to the class locations. The new C.C near my home is being built and is a walking distance from my place. I hope that my belly dance teacher will be teaching there. Whenever I hear the Middle Eastern music or whenever hubs shows me (very randomly) some belly dance videos on youtube, I imagine myself dancing in my mind. LOL. On the other hand, I have people teaching line dancing just a block away from mine but I don't know why, I just can't bear the thought of me line dancing! Hubs has suggested to me before that I should just sign up and take it as a form of exercise but I watch the group of ladies and think, no, no. But never say never. Some form of exercise is better than nothing.

 

I have decided that I am no dieter. I don't do diets so I have to do exercise. My son helped imbue this in me. He's quite fit and so he drummed it into me that if I wasn't willing to diet, I had to exercise. He's right. So I hope that one day, I'll be able to proudly post before and after photos here!!! Meanwhile, I need to drown my sorrow (from the weight gain) by trying to blend some rempah (chilli paste) from a friend's recipe tonight! (Shout out to YOU, M J!). Mother-in-law's birthday celebration will be at our place tomorrow!


Footnote***There is no such thing as fats turning into muscle or muscle turning into fats. What one actually means is you can usually lose fat and replace it with muscle.