TDVL Day 2 of 20

After the first night of the TDVL course, I woke up the next morning with my eyes being the only things that were able to move. I could barely reach over to my alarm to shut it up. Pretty much how I feel after I have cooked for a party the day before.

This time round, I bought dinner during lunch time. Arrived early in typical kiasu (scared-to-lose) fashion so that I would secure a parking space and sat in the vehicle to munch on the packet of cold noodles. A rickety van arrived and settled next to me and I felt compelled to laugh aloud when I saw the driver pull out his styrofoam dinner box too. We both sat in our vehicles munching away, not knowing each other but sharing a common task. I had more than enough time to peel mandarin oranges, touch up at the loo and even buy a cup of hot coffee from the dispenser. It was then that I realised that there were in fact 2 food dispensing machines. One for drinks and the other for snacks, including cup noodles *face palm*. I could have saved myself a tedious milo and groundnut dinner and a phone squabble with the other half!

Drinking my coffee at the waiting area, I realised that I was indeed swarmed by variations of males. Some sat silently. Some could not sit silently. Put off by the show off shooting Hokkien expletives next to me, I threw my disposable cup away and headed into the classroom. It seems everyone sat back at the same seats they had taken the night before. The night before, I had been one of the earliest to arrive at the classroom but had left to find my dinner. I ended up being one of the last few so most of the seats had already been taken when I returned.

Nothing uneventful happened. The trainer is not young. He has had a lot of experience in the Civil Service. Not sure if he has actually been a taxi driver before. Important thing is his diction is decent and I understood most of what he said. Again when I reached home, the other half fed me very well. Haha.

Why did I apply for my TDVL?

The year 2014 was a wake up call for me.
By the end of 2013, I already had a feeling that change was coming. I was excited for change and I really had no idea what the Lord had planned for me. At home, some good changes took place. At work, not so good. It was a terrible year for me. By far, the worst I had encountered. Why?

ONE SINGLE LAZY BLACK SHEEP that caused all the crap. How to work with one lazy a** whose motto is to never go the extra mile unless it is to impress the bosses?
The joke is in trying to clean house, I was chided together with the black sheep. That was how the situation was handled. Really? After more than a decade, above and beyond. It was then I decided that the company deserves that black sheep. It does not deserve me.

Totally bad management calls. Bad. Bad. Bad. Possessing good business acumen does not make you a good manager. It became so bad I wanted to bite the hand that fed me. My physical self got injured due to a bad switch in job scope. I did not take action. It was suggested to me that I already had that injury and it was perhaps not due to work. I am a Christian. I do not believe in Karma but I think this says it aptly; "Karma come and bite your backside!"

I took it in my stride, complained a lot (poor hubby, kids and BFFs!) and prayed a lot. I knew that only the prayer part would amount to anything. The Lord reminded me one day during prayer time, that He was my provider, not my employer. So I am carrying on. I used to work with gear on overdrive if you know what I mean. I used to give my all. I no longer do. I have lost the will. There is no meaning. Can you really blame me? My health is important to me because without it, I won't be able to support my family. If management cannot take care of my well-being, it is my own duty to do so.


Yes, so, that is why I decided to apply for my TDVL. I wish to be ready when I get axed. I can no longer see myself working for anyone but myself. Yes, I can teach but no, I wish to try something different. Salary wise, it will never match up but you know what, I trust in the Lord's providence.