SVDP's Novena 2011 - I Am Who I Am

Our church's 9 day Novena leading to the Feast Day of St Vincent de Paul started last night. It was a mad rush from work and school for us but because our very own Charismatic Prayer Group was leading the Praise and Worship segment, I wanted to make sure that our family could be there to support them. I haven't been around for their meetings this year and a part of me misses that big time but the other part of me is relishing the time I have for my family. I miss being around my Charismatic 'kakis' and it was so nice to be enveloped in their warms hugs!!! I love them and what they do for others!!! It can be a thankless (from humans) job but yet, it can be the most rewarding (from God) job. As a certain Arnie S. says, "I'll be back" but I just don't know when and how.

The theme for our Novena this year is 'I Am Who I Am'.
Father William Goh spoke about origin and end last night and he hit the nail on the head when he said we should be looking after our own 'backyard'. He sort of said that if we commit too much to doing too much of other stuff (including running around doing plenty of church work) and yet can't look after our own family members, then something is very wrong. I feel that because I had stretched myself helping the Charismatic Prayer Group last year, if I had continued this year, I would not have had the time to look after my family properly. I also wanted to have more time to be with my husband. I feel guilty that I took a step back when I knew that the group was short of manpower but I also knew what I had to do for my family.

Despite the fact that my kids aren't toddlers anymore, they've still got needs and I'd like them to remember their parents as having been there for them in tiny ways. Perhaps just to make them a snack while they are mugging in their room (or pretending to mug), or just making their favourite green jello (for no apparent reason except to get a sugar overload!). I may not be a great cook but I'm certain they'll remember I tried.

God willing, I'm going to try to attend all 9 days. The last time we attended all 9 days, He worked a miracle with my son's PSLE results!!! My daughter is desperately seeking a miracle for her JC1 Promos this year. Ha ha. I'm not saying just the fact that you appear for mass all 9 days, something BIG is going to happen. That's like some occult or superstitious approach. Instead, one has got to really be sincere and call upon the Lord for blessings and to be moved by the Spirit.

Since LISS, I have carried with me, an intrinsic belief that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH THE LORD. I'm not kidding. I know many people (including people in church) wear this sentence on their lips and yet one can tell that they doubt. I do not. I don't delude myself for a second that ALL THINGS MUST GO MY WAY (oh no, I don't) but I definitely believe that with the Lord, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

It's not easy but it's somewhat like a child's innocent and naive belief in Santa Claus. Nike says, 'Just do it'. I say, 'Just believe it'. Call upon the Lord and He will be there for you, even when you think He isn't. Believe in the Lord and He will work His miracles, even if you don't understand how the cookie crumbles. Are you in trouble? Are you depressed? Are you suicidal? Do you think there is no way out? Do you feel no one loves you? Call upon, Jesus. He will lift you. I guarantee it. Although I have no doubt He can, his methods may not mean ressurrecting your dead relative or lover (because that's what a human hopes for). But He will let the light shine upon you again in a way He thinks is best for you.

Trust me. I've been through so much this year. Things have happened. I've been put to the test in my newfound (since 2009) spiritual journey with the Lord. Yet my spirit is not defeated. In fact, I feel lifted and I rejoice and I weep with joy because the Lord had shown me that He's been there with me ALL THE WAY. He has been speaking to me and I'm so grateful. It's like the new order of the mass says, I'm not worthy to have Him 'under my roof'. Yet He does not forsake me. I cannot escape Him even if I wanted to.

My God is ALMIGHTY and My God loves me. Does your God love you?

PCOS Update - 13 September 2011

My monthly flow hasn't been giving me any problems since my last check up at KKH. Though not regulated like clockwork, it appears every month. This is very amazing for me as a Catholic. I know now that it wasn't just my gut instinct which told me to stop taking the hospital prescribed birth control pills. It felt so wrong even when a priest had assured me that I should not feel guilty because it was for medical reasons.

I am not advocating that medical intervention be ignored. That would be reckless. The above is pertaining to my case and for this particular issue alone. It must be seen in perspective to my journey with God since LISS (Life in the Spirit Seminar) 2009 and my being baptised in the spirit. I've had wonderful conversations with God and my healing of irregular menses is just one of the small miracles He has brought into my life because I had allowed Him into my life.



I had been praying for healing of my PCOS issues and at one point, I had felt it deep inside of me that God had already healed me of my irregular / absent menses. I felt that if I had continued to take the birth control pills just in case I wasn't healed, I would be doubting God. I knew I had to let go and let Him take control and believe wholeheartedly that He had healed me and He did. I am healed. I haven't missed any since. Alleluia!

As for my insulin resistance...I haven't had a sugar test done since the last one some months back. My eating patterns haven't changed much and the good news is I haven't put on weight this year yet. Well, I'm still over weight but I have been ding-donging between dropping some and putting on some. So the weight loss and gain kind of balances itself out. I have noticed something though. When I do not eat rice (or too much carbohydrates) for dinner, I feel so much lighter the morning after. But being a 'rice' person, it's really hard not to eat rice for dinner. Especially when there's sambal belachan lying around. Shiok!

Overall, I'm feeling fine. I'm feeling more energetic than ever and just not as lethargic as before. Maybe it's due to the fact that I no longer have a Foreign Domestic Worker and I've to do the housework myself or maybe that I'm super duper elated that I no longer have to face her tai-tai tantrums. Yes. Most likely. 

Hair 7 Sept 2011

So....this is my hair on a good day.

When I tell you I have natural limp waves in my hair, I am not kidding. They make a sort of S shape wave so depending on how the hair stylist cuts it, it becomes nice or worse. I wash my hair every day and it doesn't matter if I blow it dry or not. I wake up every morning, not knowing how it's going to look like.

It wasn't so layered 2 weekends ago before my last disastrous cut. I went in for a trim to my ends but judging from the picture, you can tell that the ends weren't even neatened properly. He did complain that my hair curled a lot. Instead, the idiot of a hairstylist gave me layers which I specifically said I didn't want.

Sigh, actually, the waves in my hair look best when I cut my hair really, really short. Some people would die to have such natural waves. It took me a whole year to grow it out to this length. I might just be crazy enough to cut it all off again.

But wait. Unless I were crazy or rich enough to have a botoxed-till-slim face, I don't think I'd really go for it. Or would I? (I mean the cut, not the botox, silly!)

GOM

Mike: This is the new way to relax (runs and jumps on our gigantic L-shaped sofa and lies face up).
Me: (laughing) This is the new way to relax (I jump on top of Mike and lie on top of him facing upwards).
Mike: O....M....G!!!
Me: (laughing uncontrollably) L.....O......L!!!
Mike: G.......O.......M!!!
Kids and I: Huh???? What's G.O.M?
Mike: (pushing me off) GET OFF ME!!!

Ha ha ha....kids and I break out into laughter. Some weekend silliness for you.

Hair Cut

I have a great feeling of dissatisfaction when it comes to hair salons in Singapore. Those I like, have not stood the test of time. Really. All the hair stylists to whom I would have returned, have closed down. Jinx.

Anyhow, hubs doesn't have such a problem. He goes where it is cheapest. He's not bothered because he has to cut and dye his (white) hair every month anyway. Doesn't matter if the dye is 'branded' or not. But for me, if I want to keep my hair long, I'd have to be careful what I put on or do to my hair, isn't it? Besides, I have a natural wave to my hair. It isn't straight. My hair is fine but I have alot of it. You might not believe me, until you actually work with my hair. That's what a few hair stylists have told me. They didn't think I had so much hair until they actually set out to highlight, dye or blow dry it. Then they know, it takes forever.

Well, hubs told me that Snip Avenue was having a promotion on hair dyeing. Although I had such bad experiences with them that I'd told myself I was staying away from their chain of outlets for good, I followed him to make enquiries. Turns out, there isn't any REAL offer at all (for the likes of us). The prices are still the same for normal length hair. To them, short hair is a men's short cut. Medium is a lady's short cut. Long is anywhere after that. Yep. That's their intepretation. I've asked often enough. Even with very short hair, I've been told it was considered under 'long' hair charges.

This is one of the posters they have up on their glass panels facing the public walkway:

This 'ching-chong' chain of outlets believe themselves to be Americans, spelling colour as color. Ok, whatever. Anyway, I scanned the poster for any asterisk * (you know, the usual '* terms and conditions apply' crap that is in so fine a print that no one can notice anything) but couldn't find it. It says, '$7.80 Color + Wash + Blow). It does not say, when you come into the actual Snip Avenue shop, I will then tell you the truth (in mandarin); that it is only for 'very, very short men's hair. Those type where the hair is near the scalp and only for black colour dye'. Pissed, Michael and I walked out. No wait - VERY PISSED, Michael and I walked out. Suckers we may be for a deal, too good to be true - but you're misleading people, Snip Avenue!!! Anyway, thank goodness it didn't work out there cos I saw that the next available hair stylist was the same young Malaysian lady who had burnt my hair rebonding it. It is thanks to her that I had to cut it all off last year. How lucky can one get?

Not counting last Sunday, I had not cut my hair since slightly before Chinese New Year (early February 2011). I know, I was walking around with unkempt hair for 6 months because I was trying to grow out my (chic but short) hair. I knew that if I went for even a 'trim' any time in between, it'd be cut shorter than I really wanted and I'd have to grow it out all over again.

Well, I finally entered a salon last Sunday but only because my daughter had asked for her fringe to be cut. I didn't think the mandarin speaking stylist was very skillful but there I was sitting waiting for her and wondering if I'd have the time to enter a salon again. Although I was starting to like the way my hair was growing out (it was fairytaling beautifully at the ends), it needed a trim. A TRIM. That's what I said. In mandarin - because FIND ME A REASONABLY PRICED HAIRSTYLIST THAT SPEAKS GOOD ENGLISH IN SINGAPORE WHO DOESN'T PUSH THE SALES OF TREATMENTS PLEASE!!! Why must nearly ALL the hair stylists I speak to, hail from Malaysia or China and only speak mandarin???

I said TRIM. TRIM - yes. In mandarin. I KNOW I got it right. I explained clearly that I was trying to grow my hair long again and I only needed him to neaten it with a trim to the ENDS. But no. Oh no. He had to do what he had to do. Which is lop of like 3cm worth of hair. That bloody fool. Did he know how slowly hair grows??? We get like 1cm worth of hair growth in a month if we're lucky.

And you know what? (look, I don't care that one shouldn't start sentences with 'and', I'm in a pissed mood right now). I told him I didn't want it layered. No layers. No 'stepped' look. He asked me why he couldn't cut it short for me. I said I liked my current length because it allowed me to tie it up. I wanted a BOB. A level BOB at the ends. Just trim my ends a little cos they were uneven. But sigh. No. Nope. He couldn't do that. He lopped off my hair then proceeded to use those sickening thinning shears (with the teeth) which I loathe. I always feel that only lazy hairstylists use those thinning shears when they should be weilding their scissors and using their skills to produce the layers.

I had even pointed out ONE PARTICULAR portion of my top hair near my fringer which I had told him specifically to NOT touch because I was trying to grow it out. But of course, he cut if off. Mind you. I was paying a full professional price for this cut and wash. But did he listen? No. Did he wash my hair at the sink? Yes. And, while I thought it strange at that time, he had asked me, whilst washing my hair at the sink, if my scalp itched. I said, 'No'. I only realised that later, he was trying to bug me into buying his 'ampoule' for a discounted price of S$10 ('Ampoule' being the most difficult word in the English dictionary these chinese speaking cutters know). I declined and I think he wasn't too happy about that. He told me it was good for sensitive scalps, like if I felt it was itchy etc (didn't I say mine didn't itch???). Then, after he blow dried my hair, he advised me to add serum to my hair. I told him I didn't like anything on my hair. He then emphasised that my hair was REALLY, REALLY dry. Really? My hair may not be super silky soft because I do bottle colour it myself once every 6 months but it doesn't have split ends or anything like that. It's not wonderful but it's not as terrible as he made it out to be either. Oh and yes, he said he wasn't sure if I could tie up my hair anymore. He sucked big time.

I usually ask the hairstylist for his name and card if his service is good but I didn't bother this time. He told me, in that row of shophouses (in Toa Payoh Central) alone, there were 10 hair salons. I'd say, good luck, bucko. I know, I won't be a returning customer. The sign outside their salon says 'Japanese cut'. What was so Japanese about not listening to the needs of your customer?

Anyhow, one saving grace is my hair is still touching my shoulders. It's actually messier now because his cutting of layers has allowed my waves to go mad. And I do not have wonderful springy curls I see on Malays and Indians. I have limp waves. They are neither here nor there.
There are pockets of 'thinness' I'd rather not have but what's one to do? Hair stylists do not listen. Yes, I'm convinced they do not listen. Maybe it's because just like I don't like people to tell me what to paint and how to paint my shoes, they like to do their own thing when it comes to other people's hair. But wise up. My shoes aren't alive but I am. I'm the customer who has to live with the curls and whirls of my own hair. I know my own hair, therefore when I tell you to do or not to do something with my hair, you jolly well listen. Just as well, I didn't even bother to look at the salon's name.

So there.....I'm not going to another hair salon for another 6 months.

(Afterthought - Mike wasn't too bothered about my hair cut. He knows I'm very fussy about my hair and that joked that he should go take up a hairdressing course to be my hairdresser. He knows I'm never happy with whichever hair salon I go to. I used to have my regular salons to go to. I was willing to travel really far to visit the salon but as I said, they have either closed down or the stylists went away. But if hubs thinks I'm alone, he's wrong. Where I work, there are a whole bunch of ladies who have shared with me their hair woes. We often laugh about it in loo. They too have not found a single satisfactory hair stylist. Ha ha).