Tiger Parents... Not

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I have two regular teenage kids in school. One's in secondary 2 and the other has just left secondary 4. They aren't phenomenal in their school grades nor are they flunking (let's not count Mother Tongue Chinese because that's another story altogether!). Sometimes, they manage to bring home their 'A' grades.

They're two healthy school going kids who love school activities and their schoolmates. This is more than what I can hope for as their mother. Education is so much more than just surviving exams. For me, my kids get to learn from every day stuff and every day experiences and the point is, they SHOULD be learning from every day stuff and experiences. If they're not learning, then I have failed as a parent. You fall, you pick yourself up. You walk down the wrong path, just get yourself back ontrack. You cross little milestones, pat yourself on your back. The aunty next door doesn't have to agree with the way I bring up my kids but hey, my kids should learn from an early start that you don't always have to conform to herd mentality.

I've nothing against parents who want only the best schools and the best courses for their kids. Which parent doesn't want the best for their kid? But I don't condone being a Kiasu parent (Kiasu = person who must win and doesn't like failing). Likewise, anyone else who thinks I don't push my kids enough or that I aim too low for my kids should just get a life.

I'm so blessed that I have a husband who shares the same beliefs as I where it comes to parenting. We're always available for our kids to talk to. We're always approachable. We talk about ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN with our kids. Yes, even sex. Why not? We don't want to be in-your-face. We just want them to know that we're always there for them. Anytime. No terms and conditions.

So how are my kids doing? They're doing pretty well. They know alot about many things. They know too little about other things (like normal human beings). They get along with each other. They are generally well-mannered (although I wouldn't want them to turn out too sterile, if you know what I mean). They're amicable. They have friends. Like all teens, they can get rowdy or irritable sometimes. They get their fair share of scolding / nagging etc. Of course we scold them. What did you think? We do tell them to get off their butts and we do give them wake up calls. But we never, ever scold them because they don't perform according to our expectations. We expect them to set their own expectations and for the right reasons.

We don't really impose any curfews but they still always ask our permission. We know where they are all the time because they keep us informed. We do not impose computer usage / internet controls (not even during their exam periods) but they still manage to get their school work done.

Perhaps, if we had been aggressive in the pursuit of their academic excellence from the start, they might be in super duper schools right now. But hey, what's wrong with the schools they are in if they're loving it?

My daughter has shown me through her performance in the recent GCE 'O' Levels that she is now able to set targets for herself and achieve them by herself. Not that I used to breathe down her neck at all but I no longer have to push her because she's pushing herself. I feel that in this aspect, it's one point for me as a mum! *pats own back*

She gets her posting results this Wednesday. Whatever the outcome, my job is just to make sure that she enjoys the new journey she is about to embark on.

What can I continue to do as a parent? SHUT MY EARS TO OTHER NARROW-MINDED PARENTS WHO THINK THEIR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY and pray and hope that our style of parenting allows them to become all-rounded human beings who know how to feel, love, think and pray.