Plumbing woes, plumber foes

What a LABOUR day weekend it was for Mike and myself.
We thought we had it bad the weekend before this when we found our common bathroom's floortrap choked and overflowing with water. After some calls and searching through the Straits Times' classifieds, we decided on a plumber who offered '1 year warranty'.

The boss Mike had spoken over the phone with, sent down an old man who grumbled non-stop the minute he entered our apartment. He looked at the bathroom scene and said in Hokkien that it was a big issue ('tua tai zee').
Well, who were we to judge? Although Mike's the handyman around the house and is usually able to fix small leaks, replace cistern parts, even install his own heater etc, a serious choke is beyond even him. The crafty thing is, these plumbers know this. They know we know next to nothing about plumbing.

The old man calls his boss to describe the 'seriousness' of the choke. The boss then speaks to Mike. After some haggling, we settle on the price. The old man gets down to work. He shuts the bathroom door and all we can hear is him cursing under his breath.
He emerges to ask Mike to follow him downstairs to check the the HDB pipes.
They return, satisfied that the HDB pipes are hollow, thus ruling out a choke.
The old man continues with his cursing.
I hear him making a couple of phone calls on his mobile phone, still within the confines of our bathroom.
He emerges and asks for a drink.
After some 45 minutes, he emerges and says he can't solve the problem, that it is 'HDB's fault'.
He demands for payment and says we should complain to HDB.

Mike and I are flabbergasted. We ask to hold payment till HDB confirms it is indeed their fault. The old man calls his boss again on his mobile phone. The boss assures us that we should pay him first and we can always get a refund from HDB if it turns out to be a fault with their pipes.
I demand for a receipt.
The old man digs into his pocket and removes all its contents before he locates a piece of paper, folded into a tiny square. He opens it up and it is a blank receipt. He writes in it.
I'm sceptical and so I ask if it's a legitimate receipt. He assures me it is, until I say I'm going to show my Town Council the receipt. He tells me I can't. I challenge him and ask why not.
He looks at me wide eyed, stretches out his hand and shouts, 'You PAY! I GO! You PAY! I GO!'
We really didn't see a way out. So we paid.

Mike calls the Town Council hotline. They appear within 10 minutes even though it's already nearly midnight. The man beckons Mike to follow him downstairs and also knocks the pipes. He opens a portion of it to show Mike that nothing is stuck. He thinks we've been ripped off because the plumber should have known better. He asks why we didn't hire a plumber listed at their Town Council website or a NTUC recommended plumber. Sigh.

We call the plumbing company's hotline again. The boss says he's having his dinner, to please call back the next day.
Mike calls and calls patiently the very next day. The 'boss' brushes his calls aside until finally, the old man appears again at 5 pm.
The boss demands a second payment as he says the job is more serious than what they thought.
Mike is furious. He wants to know how they could ask for a further payment when they hadn't completed the job on the very first day. We did not seem to have a choice. It was either pay this same plumber or start all over with goodness-knows-what-type of plumber again.
We agree to another payment.
The old man goes downstairs and pokes around a pipe. Mike watches him and confirms that nothing comes out. The old man says, 'OK! OK! OK!' He shows Mike that our bathroom water has receded. We believe him and think the job has been done.

Five days later, the floor trap is flooded again. Shit spills out of the toilet bowl. My Filipina helper is at her wit's end. I tell her not to clean up the mess because I'd like to show it to the plumber. She can't stand the mess and cleans it up anyway. That was fortunate because we just couldn't get hold of the plumber.
Mike calls him at 9.30 am. Boss says call back at 11.30 am.
Mike calls him at 11.30 am. Boss says call back at 12.30 pm.
Mike calls him at 12.30 pm. Boss says call back at 2.00 pm.
I stand by and watch my very, very patient husband and feel the volcanic lava travelling fast through my veins. I call the Boss and tell him he should give us a deadline when he's free to arrange an appointment. He insists I call him back at 2.00 pm. I refused. I told him to give me an appointment time now. He says 6.00 pm.
I hang up. Then I think again that it's ridiculous to have us wait from morning till evening for his guy to fix something he was supposed to have fixed on both visits, five days ago.
I call the Boss again and I insist he should give us an earlier appointment.

That's when his barrage of 'Mother F' Hokkien vulgarities and profanities come spewing through my earpiece. He does not stop there.
He threatens that he has my house address and he will come burn my house down.
I'm surprised but I remained really calm. I let him continue with his swearing. I tell him his company name on his receipts issued to me carry an incorrect name and it's illegal. I tell him I've run a check on his company. He doesn't stop swearing and continues threatening to burn my house down. I tell him I'm making a police report. That's when he goes berserk.

I really do make a statement with the police. I'm do not take threats lightly.
The Boss calls non-stop even whilst the police are in my house taking the statement. One of the officers looks impatiently at Mike as Mike patiently plays the boss' game and picks up every single call he makes to Mike's mobile phone at intervals of a minute.
The Boss asks Mike to tell me to not complain about him. He says he will come down at 6pm. He adds that he is a mental patient and he will go berserk if Mike's wife provokes him. He insists on speaking to me. I demand he speaks to me in English. He goes, 'I, I, I.....you make me gila!'
I calmly asked him if it were he who made me 'gila' (mad in Malay) instead.

I know it sounds ridiculous but we still wanted him to fix the shit's creek situation in our bathroom. We weren't about to blow more money and start all over again with another plumber.

He doesn't turn up at 6pm. Mike calls him later and gets mocked at by the Boss. He urges Mike to make a report against him. I can see Mike's disappointment. I comfort him by gently telling him that he's been fooled again by the Boss. We all sit down to have dinner and laugh about it.
I tell him to forget the money and call another plumber. We all continue to use the other useable bathroom in the Masterbedroom and don't think about it anymore.

It's late already. The Boss suddenly calls again and asks to come the next day between 2 to 3 pm. Mike agrees.
The next morning, the Boss calls and says he's on his way. But he doesn't turn up. The old man does with a younger chap. The old man passes his mobile phone to Mike again. Oh guess what? It's the Boss demanding for a third payment. Yep.
Now, all this time, I've locked myself in the room. Mike comes in all glum and says he's agreed to the third payment. He asks me what choice do we have? I agree. But I'm pissed.
I go outside and start grumbling at the old man, asking him if he has ever come across a company that asks you for payment every time they come to do a job they were supposed to have completed in the first place. I then ask him if he's heard of a boss telling a customer he's going to burn their house down.
Now the old man is pissed with me. The young man who seems to be supervising the old man remains very quiet and sneaks out of the house when I start grumbling at them (smart guy)!

To cut a long story short, they go downstairs and I hear water gushing out. The old man confirms the job is done. Mike tells him he doesn't believe him anymore.
I insist the old man write me a third receipt. He calls his Boss. The Boss seems to be weary now about giving me an invoice. The old man writes on a receipt with no company name. We're tired and don't really care anymore. I feel sorry for the old man and try to explain to him that I'm not angry with him but with his boss. He tells me to shut up. I tell him in return to shut up too. I don't care if my alter ago (Mrs Super Naggy) has surfaced no end but I continue to tell him it's not right for his Boss to be spewing his Mother F Hokkien at me and to be threatening me with burning my house down. The old man shouts back at me and asks me to go report to the police then. I knew I was taking it out on that plumber but if he had done a good job in the first place, he wouldn't have had to come back a second and third time and I wouldn't have had to file a police statement against his Mother F Boss.

For the moment, I haven't decided if I should press charges against the company Boss for his threat, thus, I cannot reveal his company name. I do wish to warn you that he has an impressive sized ad in the classifieds. One year warranty? Hasn't even been 5 days. Ha!