Ex-boss

Last weekend, I was basking in the comfort of my loo with the newspapers as my reading companion when a picture in the obituary page caught my eye. My ex-boss had passed away. My first instinct was to want to call my ex-colleague to ask if he would join me in attending her wake. But as I sat staring at her picture, I asked myself if I really had any inclination at all to attend her wake. I had none.
I tried to think of any kind deed she had done to me. Any kind word? Any kind actions? I tried to tell myself that it's been donkey years since we last met. I should just go pay my respects even if she'd not know it for a fact. Was there anything she had done to show she was a boss with a heart? Again, I came up with nothing. I realised, I didn't really want to go at all. So I didn't.

Truth be told, she'd been a tyrannical 'boss'. One from the old school of thought where the top down approach was the only way to go. She'd shout angrily at someone if she felt like it. She'd tell you off in front of anyone, if she felt like it. When we saw her approaching in our direction, my colleagues and I would quickly find a way to turn left or right, as long as we didn't bump headlong into her. Everyday, I wondered if today would be the day I'd get shouted at. It was not a way to work.

A week before my wedding, she'd rostered me for a few days of outdoor activity which included me working in the sun. Some colleagues were indignant and one guy even approached the tyrant and offered to stand in for me. But oh no. Ladyboss was adamant that I should and could go. Why? She countered that since it was only days to my wedding, I should have gotten everything ready by then. So I went and needless to say, I came back to be a pretty sunburnt bride that weekend. I've always wondered that if it had been her own daughter accorded the same duties days before her wedding, would she have ruled any differently? Suffice to say, I didn't stay in her employment too long.

I eventually bumped into her again in the course of my work and not being directly under her management made her seem a little nicer. But I wasn't going to hang around to find out anyway.

My point of relating this is not to enforce the idea of not forgiving or not forgetting. It's to reinforce the idea of how we all affect people in our lives, especially at the work place where we spend so many waking hours every day. As far as bosses are concerned, I've not worked for that many. But enough to know which one has or has not touched my life. Quiet, firm yet unassuming. Those are qualities I admire in a boss. It's something I hope to emulate.....eventually.

I've had my fair share of lashing my tongue out at people too in my mere 40 odd years and I wonder if one day, seeing my obituary in the papers, if he or she will see me too in the same light as I saw my ex-boss. Food for thought.