My son in St. Gabriel’s Primary School

I recall clearly some incidents from my few years as a Primary School teacher. One of which was a parent breaking down in tears during a Meet-the-Parents session. I was the Form Teacher and English medium teacher for her P5 son. She couldn’t hold back her tears as she spoke of how she had all but given up hope of her 2 sons passing their Chinese. Although both boys excelled in the other subjects, they could not pass their Chinese. She felt it was a great injustice if their Chinese results were to greatly affect the outcome of their PSLE results.

Back then, I could only lend a listening ear. Clearly, I was in no position to give her advice about a subject I myself stunk in. As a child, I had understood little during my Chinese classes. They were boring and made no effort to interest us ‘bananas’. All I recall doing was memorizing stroke after stroke, word after word, phrase after phrase. Yet I managed to pass up to ‘AO’ level (without tuition at that). So could her kids not? Was her plight of any relevance to my own kids? Bah! They were mere toddlers back then. Could I really empathise with her situation? I am ashamed to say this now but the answer is no.

However, now that we’re years down the road, I have come to be in her shoes, understanding her plight so much more now that my son’s taking his PSLE this year. Never a parent to stipulate to my kids that they have to attend a particular brand school or to score a certain target, I’ve never really panicked until now. It has never been easy to be a parent and remain oblivious to other parents’ obvious comparison of grades with our kids. We really hate it when people throw their kids’ results at us in an evidently not so obvious until sooooo obvious way. Is there a point to it? I just don’t get it. Parents crying because their kids can’t get into such and such a school. Huh?

We’ve tried to ignore the comparisons and have always maintained that we need to recognize our kids’ potential individually. We tell this to our kids all the time but we do sometimes tell them they are going to feel horrible themselves if they do not do well. So our plan has always been that THEY themselves should see the light. Self-motivation as opposed to us parents forcing our expectations upon them.

It seems to have worked with my older kid now that she is in secondary school. We see evidence of her setting high goals for herself and we sigh with relief. Our younger kid is just starting to feel panic. Mike and I have patted him on the back and put in some strategies on how he should really speed up on the assimilation process otherwise his MT grade’s gonna badly affect his overall score. Since we can sense him panicking himself, we take it as a good sign.



(Below pic: John and his dad fixing something during a school science fair)

He’s basically a good kid. Fixes things around the house. Very interested in all the science-techy stuff. Very helpful. Not a particularly demanding kid. Hugs us before going to bed every night. Apologises very soon after we get angry with each other. Just not very motivated when it comes to studying the actual text books. He’s very visual. Can watch a science documentary and rattle all facts 10 years on but ask him to learn ‘ting(1) xie(2)’ (Chinese spelling) and it’s all a BIG blur.


Anyway, my son speaks and understand Mandarin as much as I understand Greek. You get the picture?


I sometimes think the inability to assimilate Mandarin is a real learning disability the authorities have yet to realise and admit. The authorities will of course throw figures to back up their theory that majority of the school kids are able to cope, just as they claimed previously that small class sizes didn’t play any significant role in the efficiency of the teacher. Well, they seem to be touting proudly now, their reduced classes. Hmmph. They don’t remember their own words but I will never forget.

Back to my son. The chap’s only panicking and mentally figuring out his own strategies. He’s packed up his laptop (which was flashing the blue screen of death anyway) and told me to not renew his Xbox HALO online game membership. He’s not yet rolled up his sleeves to dig into the process. With less than 8 months counting (or so other parents keep reminding me. OK OK, I get it! I get it!), time is clearly not on our side.
But I have to see my own son’s ability in perspective. For him to panic just a little bit, is a good sign to me.

The main point of my story is on John’s school, St. Gabriel’s Primary School (yes, that was such a long prelude). I myself have taught in several schools and I must say St. Gabriel’s Primary School is a school with a heart. I cannot pinpoint what exactly it is. Perhaps it is the way the Principal, VPs, HODs and teachers carry themselves. They are always around. Always smiling, acknowledging the parents. From what I gather from my kid, they have always been caring and kind. I do not for a second doubt that. Perhaps it is the flexibility the teachers have in dealing with the kids and different situations. I can sense by the actions and reactions of the teachers that they have a say in how things should be run. (That’s because I’ve worked under a ‘tyrant’ Principal before, duh!)

When I registered John there, some people had actually tried to dissuade me from doing so because they felt St. Gabriel’s did not have a good track record. I beg to differ. They have raised boys with a heart and that to me is a job well done.

Last week, the boys attended a ‘super blah blah’ camp conducted by a popular motivational speaker and his team, in school. Parents were invited to the ‘closing’ address. I was grateful the school heavily subsidized the camp fees which majority of the parents would not have been able to afford anyway. But I wasn’t sure I was impressed at all with the trainer shouting or his crass and insulting reference to ‘cleaners’ or ‘rubbish collectors’ and how the boys should not aim to grow up to work in those occupations. I got the drift of his meaning which was that we should aim high. But I felt he could have put it in a better way. Most of the time, I was looking at my watch wondering how long more the shouting match would go on. Anyway, that aside, the last portion of the course was to have the boys volunteer to go up on stage individually to speak with heart and soul to their parents. That was a touching and poignant end to the course. In all, I thought the camp could only do good to the kids.

The night ended on a high note for Mike and myself because a teacher, came to speak to me. She approached us and told us that she needed me to know that John was a wonderful kid! She said she did not directly teach John but she KNEW him for what he was. Mrs. S also patted my arm and said we had brought him up well. We were pleasantly surprised to say the least. She really did make my contacts all blurry and my throat constrict. At that point, my ears stopping ringing (from the trainer’s shouting) and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

This week, John, who was a Vice-Head Prefect (oops, John-John corrected me. He said he was 'Asst Vice Head Prefect' last yr but likely Vice Head Prefect this year) last year is running his campaign for Head Prefect Elections. How cool is that for a primary school boy? He even has campaign managers and a whole team ‘promoting’ him. It doesn’t matter if he wins the post or not. We told him to pull no stops and to put in all effort and to enjoy the race for the experience and not for the outcome.


We've also ‘accidentally’ learnt that he is the school Golf Captain and has been for the last two years. Why we had to learn this about our own son from another parent really irks us. But that is my son. When we asked him, he only shrugged and said he didn’t think it was of any importance to tell us. Hmmph! We’ve taught him humility too well.

The point is, I know my son is weak in Chinese and this may mean it will greatly affect his PSLE results at the end of the day. We’ll try our very best to work it out together with him but school results and secondary school postings are only just that. They are not the be all and end all of life. We are thankful that that we have a chance today, to even raise a good boy and that he is so clearly having a time of his life at St. Gabriel’s Primary School. That in itself is one of life’s great rewards.



(Below pic ~ Like Father Like Son.)


(addendum 22 Jan 2009 ~ Results have just been announced and John-John has lost the Head Prefect Elections to another deserving boy. Disappointment was apparent on the day of the results but he cheered up once the teacher in charge told him he had garnered the second highest no. of votes out of 7 nominees. So he will likely be Vice Head Prefect this year. It meant something to Mike and I to learn that the other 6 nominees came from the 'A' class whereas John-John was the one and only 'underdog nominee' who came from an average class. Twas a good race, chum!)