Cleaning up

My hubby is a considerably private person. He's never seen the necessity to splash personal details on the virtual world. As I grow older, I do see his point. I'm trying to be more conservative when it comes to posting online. I'm going to use this blog for it's original purpose, to showcase my art hobby but I'll of course talk about anything else under the sun if I'm in the mood for it : )

I've cut my hair REAL SHORT! Here's to the new ME!!!

What do we worry about?

My worry the past few weeks, was to take or not to take THE PILL. What pill? The birth control pill, lah. Read my previous posts if you haven't already.

My son, John's worry last night, was if his parents would or wouldn't let him go to Pulau Ubin with his friends today. I was reluctant...... *blush* my 'baby' is only 13 what!? Can't a mother worry? He was going cycling with his friends. But his dad advised me it would be advisable in this case to 'let go'....and so I did. We gave him some makan money, told him to pack a lightweight S$2 Daiso raincoat and prayed over him, asking for him and his group of friends to be covered with Jesus' precious blood. That's all we can do as parents sometimes.

Then when I woke up this morning to the drizzling rain, my worry became compounded. What if the sea is choppy? What if the bumboat......? What if the ground they are cycling on is slippery?

My daughter, Tessa's worry every other day the past few weeks, has been over the topics surfacing in her GCE 'O' Level examination papers! Did she manage to 'spot' this topic prior? Did she not? It seems exams have always been about hits and misses since my time! Some things never change.

My hubby does not worry easily. He is a very happy-go-lucky, carefree sort of character. He doesn't like to let on that he has worries (although I know he does!), macho man and all. Still, I know for a fact that he worries over whether his wife can or cannot wake up on time for work in the mornings! He worries if his wife is punctual for appointments. Hee hee....and he worries if his plants are thriving!

We all have worries. We worry when we are young. We worry when we are old. It never seems to end. Those of us chasing faith enlightenment seem to worry less and take life's problems in our stride. Those of us who hold on to possessions and must haves, those of us who have more to lose, worry more.

I got thinking about this when I heard some bad news about someone this morning. One minute, her worry was about finding a better work environment. The next, she's worrying about being able to stay alive. Would she have preferred to turn back the clock to be in her previous situation where she was oblivious to her bad health but working at an unsatisfactory job? Who wants to be in a situation where a death sentence is hanging over you? In comparison to the lemons being thrown at her now, life back then wasn't so hard after all, was it?

I think this hits home for many of us. We're unhappy with the problems and issues we're experiencing today. We're unhappy with our work environments. We're unhappy with our family situations. We're unhappy with our financial situations. We're unhappy with our spouses. We're unhappy with friends. We're unhappy with ourselves. We're unhappy, period. It's as the old saying goes, "I was unhappy with my shoes until I met someone with no feet".

I thank the Lord for today's worries then, bad weather and all.

PCOS Update - 8 Oct 2010

(Warning: Womanly stuff. Leave if you're squirmish)

Because I had stopped taking the pills after a few days, my period had arrived again and boy was it heavy. I had a few days to re-think my decision to stop and then I suddenly decided to give it another shot. When my cycle was clearing up, I went back on the pill for a few days and the uncomfortable symptoms came back. I felt that I really didn't need this sh*t. I mean, for the longest time, I did not need these pills and I may have had irregular menses, a great inconvenience I can tell you but I didn't have to put up with the aches and pains I was having.

In the end, I went for confession about my having to take Birth Control Pills for medical reasons. Felt I got a load off my chest. It was ding-donging in my head for weeks. The general idea is that I am taking this on medical grounds and thus, I should not be feeling guilty about it. But I decided to stop it anyway for a second time. I know, I sound like an indecisive person but I'm usually not. 

This is all so simple for my man. I know he doesn't have ANY issues with me taking or not taking. Sigh. Is it a MAN thing then? He does not have any issues, period. Huh! He does not have any period! You feel comfortable taking? You take. If you don't want to take, don't take. It's THAT simple for him. I suppose, others would call it being supportive! Ok, I've stopped. Darn, will I be expecting my period again???!!!

Life with PCOS - update 2 Nov 2010

(Don't read on if you're a prude or if you're squeamish about menstrual cycles)

I really didn't know what else to put as a title. Most times when I blog, I'm rushing to type in the info between doing something else. I'm a person who's always rushing here and there. Who has the time to blog and think of clever titles? Not me apparently. So what the heck, there you have it, so concise and to the point, "Life with PCOS - update 2 Nov 2010". Ha ha.

So I stopped taking my birth control pill on the 6th day. As one is supposed to take it at the same time every day, once I missed my morning schedule, my body recognised the absence of the hormones immediately. I felt better actually. No ache in the boobies. I felt lighter. But my womb showed symptoms of an impending period. So it did arrive and I have a few days to decide again if I should start on the pills again or not.

I decided I'm going to stop playing the 'feeling guilty' game with myself. I have irregular or absent menstrual cycles because of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. No, I don't think there's a cure and no, you can't catch it from someone else. But there are drugs to treat some symptoms. Most times, people face fertility problems but I've been blessed to have given birth to two kids in their teens now before I even knew I had PCOS. I only knew back then that my womb was retroverted and that it took me 3 years to conceive my first child naturally. After the birth of my second child, now 13, my cycles became more and more irregular till I was having them only about 4 to 5 times a year. Great savings on sanitary napkins but I had to put up with thick womb walls. Very uncomfortable I tell you.

Fast forward to November 2010. I am in a dilemma. The doc has put me on birth control pills and I am Catholic. I shan't go into details but I think you already know. A Catholic shall be faithful to the Church and we don't condone Birth Control Pills as a form of Birth Control. A birth control pill in itself isn't bad. For example when used to regulate one's menstrual cycle or I'm not sure but perhaps to control really bad acne.
Oi! Stop rolling your eyeballs. Don't judge. This is my faith and I strive to be faithful to my Church.
My dilemma is the hospital has issued it to me to regulate my cycle and I am obviously married AND with a healthy sex life. So by default, I am going to be using it AS a form of birth control. Given the state of my menstrual cycles, if I have to use a natural family planning method, I think I'd have to be celibate. Gulp.

I decided, I'll face God when the time comes. He may reveal to me that I should have remained celibate if I had no more intention of having kids. I don't know. Who knows? Who ever knows what He's going to say to us when we finally meet our maker?

Meanwhile, I'll stop feeling guilty. I'll just have to decide if I'm going to continue taking the pill to regulate my cycle or not. If I take it, I take it. I'm not going to feel guilty. Yah. It's such a simple deal for others to just take the pill but I'm a complicated person and I like to think things over. Apparently, this topic is taking a longer time to resolve than others.