Criteria for a spouse

Recently, I got talking to a Foreign Labourer and he told me that he was getting married next year. I asked him if he had been matchmade and he said his mother had found the woman for him. Asked him if he'd even seen her photo and he said there was no need for that. He had told his mother, that as long this woman could look after her, he was okay with his mother's choice! What!?!

I was driving at the time of our conversation and nearly choked on my saliva when he said that. Gave him a piece of mind and asked him if he thought the purpose of his wife was to look after his mother? I chided him and told him he had better love his wife after their marriage or not marry at all! In a very naggy way, I repeated that to him several times!

Sheepishly, he said he totally agreed with me, that after he marries this woman, he would have to love his wife as much as he loved his mother. We had a healthy exchange of bantering thereafter with both parties agreeing that until the end of time, a wife would never be able to 'compete' with a mother, even if a wife wasn't ever in competition with a mother!

His criteria for a wife was so simple. 'No need see. I say to my mother, you choose. If she can look after you, I am OK already'.

I look at my husband of 21 years, looking after one of my parents, who is now in hospital. He's been there quietly, taking care of both sets of parents, in his own way, within his capacity. When all the roses have died, the chocolates have melted and the gentle caresses given way to rough handling by calloused palms, I wonder, is this Foreign Labourer's words truer than what I had given him credit for?